Religion IS like a penis. It can really fuck you (up).

#5, don't tell people it's bigger than it really is.

I dunno about this. A penis is actually useful.

Religion is like a penis? I beg to differ. I don't like religion.

I think religion is more like a vagina:

• You enter the church and get comfortable.
• You try to last the full 45 mins til mass is over.
• You fail and fall asleep.
• You give the pastor money before you leave.

I'm not sure if that makes religion more like a vagina or a Taiwanese hooker but you get the idea.

I need to remember not to be drinking anything when I read your posts. I wound up spitting coffee over my tablet. It's all good.

Religion is like a vagina.
It's ok to have one and to be proud of it.
But don't walk around showing it off and acting if yours is the only one that matters.

My penis is offended by being compared to religion.

Even when I wanted to give it a try it left a bad taste in my mouth.

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."

Other ways it’s like a penis:

Invite one into your life and you’ll get screwed.

Getting rid of it after inviting it in may cause excessive drama.

A lot of people who have one tend to be overly eager to share it.

They all have nuts hangin around.

if I read it too hard I will go blind?

Well.....where's the fun in that?

My penis is, quite frankly, insulted by the comparison to religion. Because, it's REAL.

And...keep yours out of my vagina, too! (I think about this a lot while working at Planned Parenthood. How many of these hypocrites would come running into the procedure room, yelling "ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS" and smugly rip the speculum out of a patient. You KNOW they would, if they could.)

Religion is also a lot like alcohol.
It's fine if it's just something you do on the weekends, but starts to become a problem if it's something you do everyday. Especially in front of your kids

You're completely right !!!

Every time I catch them in there greed I call the religious people men penis religion. I was scared to say it in my younger years. But I am tired, please stop the men penis religion. Why do there wives don't work and all of them get cushy government jobs to support there good wives, sugar babies, tons of children. Infact the workers are paying for it. They are always promoted to corporate. Big corporation refuses to pay the worker but have lot of money for corporate travel,. Same with catholic charities.

Let's see...because it just hangs around but is incapable of doing anything worthwhile?

Funny shit. So forking true.I have one and nobody is interested.lol.

The big pecker with the big wallet right?

That is perfect !!! Lol

This is a good analogy, and yet, most religious people love to "flaunt" their faith which is as unwelcomed and inapprorpriate as a dick pick or even worse, pull it out physically...

Brilliant! And true! And I think it applies to one's own children, not just other children – parents don't own their children, they are guardians and caretakers – not dictators or brutish prison guards.
Too many people think they have the right to impose their beliefs onto their children, rather than assisting them to become whoever it is that they will one day become – or realise who they were all along.

My line would be because most Christians are dick heads