Being in love is much different than loving someone. And I think being in love looks different for every person. My best friend and I have discussed this concept many times. We both had that one great love in our lives, the men with whom we each had the chemistry, built lives with, had their children, and who we thought we would grow old with. Once those marriages ended, we both looked at the world differently. She has blatantly stated that she will never feel that way about another man again, and her current relationship is more of a business arrangement. I haven’t given up on being in love, but I will approach it a much wiser and practical person. Chemistry is still a huge part of falling in love, but as we get older, we understand the importance of so many other factors. As we mature, being in love is like looking through a kaleidoscope. What we see and how we see it constantly evolves and changes. Sorry for the lengthy reply.

I think love is when with no effort at all you don't grow tired of someone.

As I get older I love and value my family more than I have in the past. I think that's because I'm in the 3rd and 4th quarter of the game – the clock's ticking down and there's no overtime. Gotta realize what you have.

I'm single and I would "love" to have someone to share my life with. But more than ever a good relationship seems so hard to find. It's hard to find the right balance.

Don't love me like a puppy dog and don't hang on me like wet laundry. Lot's of people (in my opinion) mistake love for giving and receiving attention --- Doing and saying things in order to say, "yeah, I'm a good partner. I'm loving."

The best relationship and the best love doesn't need proof or constant vocalizing. There are so many more ways to say it and show it. Being able to be with someone without having to say "I love you" all the time and still feeling connected and special --- that's love. It just feels right without applying pressure, expectations or societally learned ways of behaving.

I would "love" to be able to verbalize this better, but to be fair to myself, writers, musicians and artists have been trying to pin the tail on this donkey for thousands of years. And STILL, we're all trying to figure it out.

I read about an interesting study, once. They did brain scans of people who were newly "in love."

The scans showed a bright spot of intense activity in the VTA (ventral tegmental area), a cluster of dopagenic cells (they produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in concentration, motivation, and sexual desire, particularly in the so-called "reward circuit" ).

This shouldn't surprise anyone-I see various comments here describing love as "an addiction", "a yearning", and yes "infatuation", all typical dopamine-induced behaviors.

Here's the surprising part:

They also did brain scans of older couples who had been together for many years. Guess what? They showed the SAME high activity in the VTA. That is-to our brains, "mature love" and "puppy love" seem to be the same.

Another fun fact-getting dumped ("breaking up" ) actually INCREASES activity in the VTA. We're naturally programmed when rejected....to try harder. Life is funny and sad at the same time.

Someone said that love is living with someone you sometimes want to kill, but not doing it because you would miss them.

Initial attraction that develops into mutual respect and appreciation. Love is a verb. If you aren't actively loving, you don't actually love.

I'm in love with my wife. I think about her in certain situations, and when I do, I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I miss her when she's not around, and I always feel relaxed and happy when she is.

Love is intangible, fluid, ever in motion. Elusive as a pinch of mercury. How do you know your in it? Their happiness becomes important to you. You find you are willing to give your life for theirs.

A strong desire for another perosn to be happy, even if it isn't with you in particular.

Love isn't something one needs to understand. Those who feel it act upon it, for reasons that are quite obvious.

I think, in it's most basic form, love is addiction. Addiction to a person.
(It makes you appear to put someone else's needs before your own. The truth is the emotional investment rewards your "sacrifice", making it a straight up trade for feel-good hormones)
You can feel good around a lot of people. It's the ones whose absence really hurts that you love.
Which is why the first love, the first high so to speak, is the most intense, and the ones who follow are just not the same.
If you find yourself going weeks without seeing someone and not miss them, you are "clean", the addiction has worn off.

Being obsessed and controlled by your emotions for the desire of another person. Now being "in love" is very different than loving another, which is considering the well being of another person to be as important to you as your own.

A twin aching in the heart and loins, for the heart and loins of another?

A subconscious priority

I am not sure anymore.

When someone else's happiness is more important than your own. So simple.

I have trouble differentiating being "in love" with infatuation. The one thing that is common in the two conditions is that they are both temporary. I would prefer to skip the "in love" part and enjoy the comfortable contented love that it should naturally evolve into. My former husband said he expected that "honeymoon" feeling to last the duration of the marriage. Then he ended our marriage by having an affair. I suppose i should be flattered at the idea that I was able to keep that "honeymoon feeling" in him stoked for 17 years. It was exhausting.

I have struggled with this concept of being "in love." It sounds like such a standard, cliche thing to say..."in love." I absolutely agree that it is a hit of Oxytocin in the brain making us feel addicted to the positive reinforcement from another. All of that aside, what makes us "fall" for one over another? I've had guys that I've known for years and I never felt that chemistry with them. Then there is another that I am trying to separate myself from now who I cannot seem to not have this with. The pull to be with one another is simply without explaination, as is our ability to read each other and banter. It's intoxicating and frustrating all at the same time. If there were one thing that made me believe in a power beyond evolution and cells, it's this damn inability to explain these feelings in a logical manner.

In one form the word "ve" means we have been there. Looking at "love" in the mirror we see

EVOLVE . Each time I have fallen in love it was with the thought of love. But as it evolves, I see the mistake in what I believed it was. It is trust, admiration, altruism and each of us together become another entity itself.

I'll know it if it happens again.

One of the best definitions I have heard from someone,"Respecting yourself and respecting the other person." I'm still waiting for the real deal, but going back to basics might be a start.

For me being in love is a high degree of feelings and emotional investment you have with someone. What makes it stronger is they feel the same for you. But Love is a double-sided. It can make you feel the best and absolutely miserable.

Imagine you're sixteen again and always getting ahead of yourself on asking her out, your heart beats faster when she's around, and you can't get that stupid grin off your face when she looks your way. Being in love makes you feel young. I'm sorry my comment is shallow and puerile at best.

Cranked up metabolism; heightened sense of everything; slight nausea in the morning. Oh wait: that could also be an encounter with magic mushrooms.

I don't know how to define "being in love." I know how to explain love for a friend, a pet, or a family member. That other thing, I'm not so sure anymore.