If I may be so bold. Does anyone here count themselves as part of the BDSM community?
No...but my safe word is "tricycle".
And if only the tri manages to come out it means try harder!?! Or you're in deep shit!
@orange_girl "Your safeword for tonight is 'more'."
Naw... I kind of ask my wife what she wants instead of me telling her she can pick some of the pleasures I come up with.... I'm not saying it's wrong to play. I'm just set in my ways... old fogie.
Our larger culture emboldens half its members (men) to pursue what they want sexually, and assigns to the other half (women) the choice to acquiesce or not. By modeling and encouraging explicit consent, the BDSM community empowers all its members to ask for what they want, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, activity, or role.
Mate, I can't love the second half of your comment enough! Thank you for getting it!
Yes and actually there are several websites to find Doms , subs and slaves I have been a member on one for about 15 years and have meet several people on it all around the world to meet in person and play with. If anyone wants the site name they can send me a private message and happy to share it.
I'm on fet. It's a pretty extensive site.
I consider myself one. Haven't found anyone in a while. But yea there are people who are open-minded on here I think
I love how there are so many different types of posts and posters on this site and people seem mostly respectful, tolerant and supportive.
I did feel like I was sticking my neck out a little being the only hashtag but you're absolutely right.
I wouldn't say I'm part of any BDSM community, but I am into BDSM
I'm with you, i'm not active in the community but i love some BDSM
I really appreciate the nature of these replies thank you.
And not one mention of that silly E.L James book/film ????
I was active on the North West scene (UK) a few years ago, and I quite enjoyed it.
I started to lose interest when I realised that being gay (I originally thought bi) and transgender weren't kinks for me. No disrespect to those for whom they are, and I'm not saying I can't still be kinky, but I'm way past the "Dress me in stockings to emasculate me, tie me up and have men do things to me" stage. I'd much rather have relatively vanilla consensual sex with a guy with both of us naked. If I'm going to put a frock on, it's usually to go out and socialise.
I found the scene very political and cliquey, too. I can't be doing with that side of it. But I've made some good friendships that have survived the transition into vanilla life. And it helped me to figure myself out, so I'd never call it a mistake.
I get ya.
I guess you can come across cliques anywhere, I have in the punk scene, fight circuit, tattoo convention circuit. When I first tried to chose BDSM all I did was find cooler than thou goths and went back to doing my own thing but eventually the scene found me. If you know what I mean.
I'm in Yorkshire, where abouts in the north west are you?
I understand that the North West scene has a reputation for being particularly political. My experience was that we (my ex and I) had a falling out with a couple who were at the centre of the local clique. Cliques become particularly obvious once you're excluded from them and nobody wants to talk to you.
With hindsight, it caused a lot more friction than it really needed to. He had a D/s or M/s thing going with his partner, while me and mine were still finding our feet and were still switching to some degree. I think it was quite clear with a more balanced view that while I was having loads of fun with his partner, mine really wasn't into him, and that part of the dynamic just didn't work.
Still, if he'd had the balls to just say that, rather than throwing all the toys out of the pram over a bit of banter (which he was quite happy to be on the delivery end of, just not the receiving one) then maybe we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble. Apparently the fall out did their reputation more damage than ours, in the end.
I'm near Chester, but travel a fair bit for work. I also do an event in Leeds roughly every other month. We might just bump into each other sometime
Maybe so! What brings you to Leeds? @NicoleCadmium
@BawdyTales Usually Leeds First Friday. A big transgender social event (the biggest monthly one in the UK) that takes place on the aforementioned First Friday of the month, centred around Lower Briggate. I used to do it every month (religiously, you might say) but I now tend to alternate between going and not. I've got accommodation sorted for 2nd March, so I'll be there, then. Possibly April too, since a friend I haven't seen in a while is going to be there.
Ah cool @NicoleCadmium
I have "dabbled" with BDSM but I wouldn't say I've been part of a community.
Yes. And the fetish community as well. I like to imagine myself sinking in quicksand or sometimes being executed. Surprisingly these are common fetishes.
Interesting. Any idea how you acquired this?
Not entirely sure how they came about except perhaps it was some attempt on the part of my subconscious to try to understand things like quicksand and the death penalty. I find it ironic when I see people get sucked under from a little dirt and water. Of course real quicksand doesn't suck you under. It's mainly movie quicksand.
And so far as the fantasy of being executed goes, it's particularly strange because I'm actually against the death penalty. I think it's the same thing though. My brain wants to understand what it's like to experience being executed so much so that it arouses me. Does that make sense?
Just starting a DDlg relationship 10 days ago with a guy I met on OK Cupid abt 6 weeks ago. We haven't met in person yet but he is very attentive to me online throughout the day and has gotten me into a bit of subspace a few times already. I'm totally smitten, addicted, and can't wait for the next hit. He's like a drug to me already! He lives just under 4 hours away; I'm driving to meet him finally on Saturday. wish me luck
Good luck but what's DDig and subspace ?
I was involved for a number of years in my local kink community, but have fallen out of touch with most of it. Nowadays if I get the urge to experience any of that I go to other events in other cities, and as a voyuer. It's an interesting scene with many different types/characters. I am torn between whether those activities are healthy from a psychological standpoint, and/or if the individuals involved are the problem. I have experienced an awful lot of things during my time attending parties and events, and it feels like many people use kink/bdsm as an excuse to behave badly. I question my own compulsions, and struggle with the idea that just because consenting adults agree to something that everything is ok.
You may.
and this is just for giggles ...
Love it!
I'm much more Tom than Jerry and bare hand is best: )
@BawdyTales . noted
I mean from a personal standpoint skin on skin spanking is the best but don't just take my word for it, there's a lot of crops and props to work through ; )
@IzziBell
Not really, but does somebody need/want a little spanking?!?
I'm not sure. I did BDSM play with my ex, but it was mostly fake..noisy but painless whips, velcro handcuffs, a foam "sex bed," etc.