I had a few people at different times of my life that became my besties.
All had a few things in common. They were creatives, we could laugh together, and I would totally forget the time when I was with them.
However, only one was able to go down philosophical garden paths with me. We'd get lost in our thoughts, deeply introspecting. I find that quality quite special.
My sister is my BFF. She's 22 months younger than I am, the nicest person you ever would have a chance to meet. She is always there for me, and we have many interests in common. If I needed one, I'm sure she would give me a kidney. And I'd give her mine.
My best friend and I were in 4th grade together. All these years later we are still best friends.
I have been fortunate enough to have several really close friends.
My bff and I have been closer than either of us are with our respective sisters.
In 30 years, we've been through all sorts of things together. Knowing her has made
me a better person. I can't say that about too many people.
Currently my best friend is my wife, but I have had a few over the years. There was one who really stands out. His name was Joe Lepine. He died several years ago from complications brought on by lime disease. It was one of those friendships where we could not be in contact for months and pick up where the conversation left off without skipping a beat.
We were there for one another no matter what, and nothing was too extreme. We were both Ham radio operators and in one incident, I had a major problem with my truck and with my battery on the verge of failing, I managed to make contact with him by radio. I was in a place where there was no civilization at all. He drove 250+ miles with the parts and tools I needed and we fixed the beast on the spot. To us there was nothing special about that. It was just what we did. Our biggest topic of conversation on that incident was how big a deal it was that I was able to contact him from where I was and how low the battery was. I miss him. He was a good man. He was also an atheist.
I've had a handful of people in my life that I considered my best friends. They understood my humor and matched it with a style of their own. It was comfortable and enjoyable being in their company even if we weren't really interacting. I remember a particular friend that I'd get together with and we'd sit on her bedroom floor, listen to music, and just draw. This was my senior year of high school too, we weren't little kids lol. I had another friend that loved video games as much as I did. It was kind of rare to find other girls that were into games back when I was in high school. But this girl and I would basically stay at each other's houses for days at a time taking turns playing Resident Evil and Monkey Island. We both played through FF7 at the same time and would come to school so excited to talk about it. I miss her. Annndd... I've gotten a little carried away. Good memories though.
I've had/have a handful. They're the people I find myself talking about anything and everything with, people you're better for knowing,the kind of people you can call to bail you out of jail.
I've had few close friends over the years, but I don't know whether I've ever had a real best friend. Elementary school doesn't seem to count. It was just whoever was nicest to me. In high school I had one friend out of convenience, I think, and another with whom I had more in common (interest in art, similar health and fitness goals, religious dedication). In college, a couple of people with similar interests and personalities. Since college… old friendship rekindled (but she lives far away, so we see each other once or twice a year at most), a former coworker who's in law school now… {shrug} I've never been super connected to people, even when I really enjoy their company. Regardless, I'm not sure there's much of a common thread in who my friends are.
@silvereyes I've read a little about this recently, because there are so many people who want to make friends and yet so few manage to connect. It seems that some of the problem is that when we're younger we spend a lot of time with people, so we are more prone to those close friendships (and, I suspect, it leads to greater animosity with people we tend to clash with). So we have elementary school when we have some friends we hang out with all the time, and then we have high school friends for similar reasons, and then there's college, when we actually live with these people and hang out all the time. And then we enter the workforce, and we might start out with the idea that our coworkers are our friends, but for many of us that notion goes away in short order. We aren't friends, but colleagues, and it's unrealistic (and a bit unprofessional) to expect deep friendships to emerge (though sometimes they still do). And then, of course, many people get married, have kids, have other obligations, etc., and then we're trying to figure out how to forge those relationships that we had in college with people we see for a couple of hours once or twice a month. There's not enough time with the rigors of life, work, family, etc., to really bond with people in the same way. Being an adult sucks.
One. Tim Kizzerian. Same birthday. Similar musical tastes. Similar familial background. Stoners. Poor. Smaller than average.
My title of 'best friend' was granted to my friend's daughter. She has Down's Syndrome, and told me I was her friend, then a couple of weeks later called me her best friend. Over the years we established that while she is always my best friend, I am not always hers, as she is allowed to change that title when she wants to. I think that is fair enough
There are a couple of people from growing up that I am very sympatico with. We can talk after not seeing each other for years and almost immediately be in sync.
I have a male BFF who I've known for over 20 years and who is family to me. We are close, but don't spend much time together. That will change when he retires later this year.
My female BFF, I've known for a dozen or so years. We dated for a while when we both lived in the Silicon Valley but that didn't work out. We've been friends ever since and both ended up in the greater Seattle area. She's the person I trust the most in the world. We have a similar take on life, the universe, and everything. We hang out 2-3 times a week. Friends to the end. And we both date other people...
I have a very small chosen few and the top two bark and wag their tails. the human ones are respectful, honest and shoot from the hip and care about me good or bad.
The term best friend doesn't make much sense to me. I feel like you're either just an acquaintance to someone or a friend. Someone who can be a best friend at one time can turn into just someone you once knew. I once had a friend when I was younger that I thought was my best friend. We were about 16 or 17. Things happen where you question if they're your best friend or not. Then I considered an ex as a best friend, but eventually we broke up. Now I consider a guy who I have known for about 11 years as a best friend. It's almost like calling someone in your family a relative and then someone else in your family a best relative.
Right now it is an old HS friend. We were BF in HS and afterward even made a tour of the state together. After I went into the military we lost touch. 20 years later I returned to the area and we got back together. I visit Seattle now and then and stay with him. Both our views of life, Non-religious, food issues, philosophies. When we get together we don't stop talking.
Previously my late partner was my best friend. The friendship not only entailed 90% common beliefs about the world it also took on an emotional and physical aspect one seldom finds. We were polar opposites in personalities but that actually augmented the relationship.
I have several from different life stages, each has different traits that made us click, and were foils to my own facets and traits.
One of my childhood besties played up social creativity and got me into bsckstage theater stuff. Another brought out my compassion/chivalry, love of languages and sense of independence. In college, my core besties (3 of them) enhanced my sense of drive, comfort with just going out and having an adventure. In my career, I tend to have 1 person who I hang out with a lot, but all of my core friends are close to my heart, it’s just that introverts aren’t ‘let’s go out every week’ folks, while the extroverts are around more often. But they made me more open and brave, again- enhancing my natural attributes, but still an important role in my life.
28 years, since the second grade.... I've only had two best and one of them is decreased. I also choose not to have many friends so I don't plan on making anymore...
Introversion aside, that’s basically the social argument of a christian— “well I read one book...” and others have read more and learned more, experienced and loved more. I’d think planning friendships is pointless, you can’t plan in others but you should be open to experiences versus closed off. It keeps our kind sharp.
I've been lucky in having had 4...what makes them special is..no matter how long you've not spoken/seen each other it as though that time never existed. You just talk as if it was yesterday.
@silvereyes
Isn't it awesome when that happens? ...it's just soo affirming.
I simply call them "really good friends," no levels beyond that. These are the people who accept you for who you are, and vice versa. Doesn't matter what happens in life, you're still accepting of one another and have complete respect for one another, and honesty with each other. Some have come and gone, some were intense, but short-lived; there were even some that seemed like they'd last forever, but inexplicably vanished.
If there is one friend who stands out above the rest, it is my friend John, who I have known for around 38 years. Although we live far apart now, we keep in touch over the phone and by email regularly. John is a very intelligent, compassionate person. He loves to read, and is very interested in psychology and philosophy. He also likes to help others, and is a professional counselor now. He's someone who really understands me better than anyone else.
I've had a few other close friends over the course of my life, and several good friends now. They really mean a lot to me, and I feel very lucky to have known them.
Well... I've been so busy taking care of my family's needs and my wife that I've lost that best friend thing with another guy. Im friends with other people outside my family... but i suppose my wife could be my best friend if that counts.