Easy question to answer. The answer is no. I would say you are still single either because you have the same hangups over looks that you claim the guys have, or you want to be single.

I know this because an intelligent mind and a sparkling wit will outshine looks every time!

You have a really nice fan base here Sarah. I do hope you will consider what has been said. There are a lot of good decent people in the world and as you have noticed there are those who take pleasure in hurting others. It's called leveling, they need to make you miserable so they can feel better about themselves it's sad but it happens all too often.

You know you are a good person, so start with that. To be a good person you have to be kind, considerate, caring, understanding, and compassionate etc. You are all of this and more. Looks are not the most important thing yet we place such importance on it.

You mention that you don't care about looks in other people so look in the mirror and tell that person the same. Like yourself for who you are and will be, do what makes you happy and fill your life with joy. The rest will come.

I don't think looks are really that important in the long run, once a connection has been established. Although I gave up the search long ago, when I was on the proverbial market I didn't connect with people easily. There are people who seem to fall into relationships easily, and there are those of us who seem to struggle. But if a relationship comes only after you've otherwise forged a real bond, you can feel more secure knowing that it's not a mere fling or something trivial for your partner, but that they genuinely want to be with you and see you for who you are as a person. The wait might be a bit frustrating, but when your next relationship comes along I think it will be better for that wait. Good luck to you.

The modern day curse: "swipe left, swipe right" dating. I'd abolish it if I could. It never gets as far as personality. Everything has become about looks. You're no longer a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you're a fashion accessory.

It sickens me that the world has become this shallow. Even back in the days of newspaper lonely hearts columns, it was your words and thoughts that first came across, before anyone got a chance to look at your pictures.

It's one of the things I like about the approach of this place (as a dating site.) It's hoping that people will get to know each other through the forums, and that relationships will form from that. Meanwhile on PoF/Tinder/Badoo/Whatever, it's "Too tall. Too short. Too fat. Too thin. Eyes too close together. Look at those teeth!"

I had a look at your profile picture. I don't think your birth defect is at all obvious. You need to shake the belief that youre 'hideous.' You're absolutely not. But until you believe that yourself, you won't have the confidence to go out there and meet someone.

Sarah, you are NOT hideous! Neither physically or mentally. I have read many of your posts & responses & you are a beautiful soul & a caring person. I also have read how, maybe because of your insecurity, you've let men abuse you & take advantage of you. Please, don't. Do not allow some jerk to shame you just because he pretends to like you! Take your time, I won't guarantee that you will find true love, but knowing that you are a great person, really knowing that, may at least keep you from the assholes & with more "positive" around you will draw more positive guys, & people in general. Hell, this site may work for you, don't despair if it hasn't yet, you are surely not the only one in that boat. Patience, my dear! & know, we that have begun to know you on this site cherish you, & wish you only the best!

SARAH, Your letter has proved to me that I can still shed tears at my age of 84.
All I can add is, read and take in all that has been said in your support, you are not a lost soul, you have umpteen loving letters here that must make you very proud. I do wish that you lived close to me so I could re- assure you that your feelings are groundless, I would love to have you as a special friend. I cannot get your letter off my mind. Lots of love from New Zealand.

Sarahroo29, You keep doing you! There is nothing wrong with who you are. You are a worthwhile and very worthy person - I saw that, and I'm sure many others did too, from the very start. And you are not hideous. Its true, the world is full of idiots who don't know what counts. (The real YOU is what counts). Stay real and don't let the bastards grind you down! (HUGS). Know that we all value and care about you.

Sarah...

I don't know how much I can add to what has been stated here by the others...
Instead, I'll just share some of my experience.
When I was younger, everyone avoided me like I was the plague. I approached girls that I liked (I say girls because they weren't mature in the mind. Young and dumb) and would get rejected or insulted.
They gravitated to my older brother and I was always looked passed.
I thought there was something wrong with me. Eventually it came to a breaking point.
It dragged me down into a deep depression and it changed who I was.
I became the monster that they all saw me as and I made my presence felt.
The godless monster was their creation.
I instilled fear into everyone out of anger and pure rage.
Anyone that was foolish enough to cross me would pay a heavy price.
Looking back, I regret what I became.
I regret that I let everything get to me to the point of where I lost myself.

Eventually I cut ties with them all so I could repair.
In that process, I stopped giving a fuck about what everyone else thought of me and in the process, I recovered from that darkness that engulfed me.

Once I was free, I started meeting people who were not like those others. And I came to the conclusion that there was never anything wrong with me. The problem was the people I was surrounded with and their perceptions of me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...
From my experience, I would distance myself from people like that as much as possible and hold close the people that you know who care about you for you.
Your flaws as you call them are a part of you and help make you unique. The notion that men only go for "hot" women is not true.
But they do (sadly) exist.
Some guys are attracted to superficiality. Some guys think with their little head. Some guys think it's OK to play with the hearts of women. Some guys keep a scorecard on how many women/ethnicities they can sleep with.
These guys make it difficult for normal guys to actually get anywhere in the dating game.
A game that has become increasingly jaded throughout the years and has reached an all-time high within the past 5 years.
Too many are out for their own gains, for their own benefits. (Hence why I consider myself retired from dating after my last... Incident)

My point is, be yourself. Don't change yourself for the benefit of others or the prospect of finding "the one"
Nothing good ever comes from changing who you are for another person.
You should step back from looking for a relationship or anything in that regards.
You should spend time to yourself and reinforce your self-confidence.
Right now, (in my opinion) what you are saying is coming from a damaged confidence.
You may argue that, but from what I see... It's factual.

Sarah, your post shows so much strength, as hard as you're trying to convince us that you're "hideous," all I'm seeing is a lovely individual carrying the burden of other people's terrible actions.

I've been sick all my life, and the one thing I've learned is that when someone doesn't understand something like a health challenge,they lash out in fear. For some it is almost primal. And if you are the target, at least for me, you are left hurt, confused and shattered. Especially if all you wanted was companionship or to be recognized as a person and not marginalized to maintain some asinine feeling of bio-normative comfort for others.

That's what I think that some people don't get: Everyone has been treated badly, at some time or another. But NOT every day. NEVER in EVERY social situation. NOT for things they have ZERO control over. They cannot even comprehend it unless they experience it, and certainly cannot fathom the damage that occurs over time. So they ignore reality, as usual, and make you suffer for their own comfort. Quite frankly, I find it crushing. But I can never control the actions of others. Didn't take long to realize, but it took a very long time to act on it.

You're not alone, and what you feel is a normal response to the ignorant acts of people you have no control over. I know that doesn't help much, and for that I am sorry. I wish you nothing but the best in your journey.

Sounds like you meet a lot of terrible people. You need to love yourself first (flaws and all). Everyone has flaws; pretty people are just better at hiding them.

Sarah, I have seen your many comments and posts. You are so very intelligent and wise beyond your age. You seem so honest and sincere. Inward beauty is far more beautiful than what we see on the outside. No one is perfect. Don’t let the bastards drive you down. Keep being you. You have gotten a lotta love from this post and please, listen and take it to heart.

Sarah, you are a beautiful person. That's all that counts. All.

I think you’re adorable. I assure you that someone in your orbit agrees and wants nothing more than to be close to you.

"I'm a really nice person,"
Best part of your post, and the only part that matters.
Stick with that, be proud of that and enjoy it and you'll be okay.

Body shaming says more about the commentator than the subject of the attack, I know that sounds trite, but just how insecure in yourself do you have to be in the only things you can say to people are superficial insults about physical differnces.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I looked at your photos and i saw nothing unusual about you at all !. Hang in there and be proud of the amazing woman you are. Btw I'm overweight and my teeth are not straight..there are a billion and one flaws, we all have at least a few of them.

Wow! Look how strong you are by opening up and letting yourself be so vulnerable. Most people can't dredge up that kind of courage.
That makes you beautiful right off the bat!
I feel your sadness and hopelessness in your need to connect with others.
I am Transgendered and many days I can't stand looking in the mirror. I feel as though I'm not passing as female.
People tell me that I am gorgeous and I have trouble seeing what they see.
So what I do to deal with it so I can walk out the door every day is to look at myself in the mirror and say positive self affirmations. It works.
What is most important is your insides. We should work on that. The more you like yourself the more you actually love who you are that is what is going to manifest on the outside.
Try being more compassionate with yourself and stop labeling yourself.
Do it baby girl!😘

People are stupid, and we live in a backward society. I just hope this doesn't manifest as self-hatred like it did for me for a long time. Then I realized, it's okay to hate society. We are allowed to be indignant about this social/physical/financial power-crazed world we live in. I used to spend hours hating myself whenever I felt othered (and I've been so a lot in my life), but my life changed when I started picking apart society rather than myself. If you try to be as intellectually honest as possible and love everyone and want everyone to be happy and to do well, you don't deserve to think negatively about yourself. Save that mental energy for all the messed up people we have to deal with.

I think you are single because you could be hanging out with the wrong people. Why not consider hobby type clubs or groups and get to know people instead of thinking about if you should or should not be asking someone out because of how they look or how you look? There really are those out there who look for the beauty within. They often hide because so many criticize but they are out there doing their own thing, going about their own life business.

My wife and I are overweight and far from beautiful. We met on Eharmony in 2004. We were a perfect personality match. For the both of us, looks was not our primary requirement. We married that year and have been happily together ever since. I cannot recommend their service more highly. I hope you find someone who will love you for who you are and not for how you look.

This world it pretty much all about the Superficial and material crap and guys they're just pieces of shit except for the small percentage and for me to judge somebody as to being hideous would be along the lines of wearing flip-flops with tube socks but you're the only person that was interesting enough for me to send a friend request too.
So I think you're pretty awesome and I'm asexual so welcome to the singles club but never think of yourself to be hideous and it's audacious to think everyone is anything like these snowflake socialites programmed material robots who don't think for themselves.. So keep your head up and think fuck 'em and smile... You're Awesome!!!

DEAR SARAH, Your letter was the most heart wrenching that I have ever read, at 84 years of age, I found that I am still able to shed tears. I am shocked at how you must be viewing yourself.
Take note of all these wonderful intelligent letters of encouragement and support you are receiving. You could not wish for a better bunch of sincere friends than these..................................................... I send you my love Sarah.

I think you're cute.

no, your past over because it bothers you I think.

Anyone who can express their innermost thoughts so well has more inner beauty than most of the "gorgeous people" I have met.

Don't you panic about the future, just stay honest and do your best, and life will take care of you.

I hear you Sarah. And I honestly share your frustration,you spoke the truth. The World we live in is ugly.On you,its what you described,to many, its something else,be it colour,height,being disabled...all these.. people are just crazy. Someone will find love in you--just don't give up. No one owns love.