At first sight of your picture "ugly" was not the word that came to mind. Beauty is not just the layers of skin we show to the world, it is what fires in our minds and breathe through our mouths and lands in the ears of others.

You are not a freak, you hapen to have a facial disfigurament, and you are -with ggod cause- too concious of it. Try accepting yourself as you are (not an easy task, past the third grade)
Discover your talent. We all have one, at list.... you heve courage... what else?

I wonder if people notice your looks as much as you do. I've seen your photos. You are not ugly, hideous or a freak. I would say that you, like me, are average looking. And when we are talking about something we love, or are laughing and happy, we probably are gorgeous. Everybody walks around thinking everyone else is happy and successful and has life all figured out. But all those people we are looking at? They are looking at us and assuming we are happy and successful and have life all figured out.
Yes, there will always be jerks who will use your worries about your looks to try to manipulate you and make themselves feel better. But that behavior tells you more about their insecurity than about your worth. People like that are trying to put others down in order to pump themselves up. They feel terrible about themselves or they wouldn't have to do that.
If you tell yourself you are ugly, and assume people are bothered by it, unfortunately I think that will make it worse - you will feel uglier, and others will wonder why you are acting afraid and uncomfortable.
Have you noticed that the more you like someone, the better-looking they seem to be? That's how it works for me. We all know a funny-looking (or even downright ugly) person who is so likeable or positive that we forget how they look and love to be around them.
You might want to see if there's a free counseling service at your school. When I was in college I went to one and it really helped. It's worth a try to find out if talking your feelings through with a trustworthy, caring person can help you see your true self and be less self-conscious.
Wishing you the best.

Sarahroo, you are not hideous .You certainly shouldnt think of yourself as a freak. you are a lovely girl , intelligent and obviously good fun ... your humour in some of your posts testify to that. If you think that men are not interested in you because of a physical reason , they are not worth knowing anyway. I sometimes get the same thing because of my rotten limp , or I lose my balance ... mostly they think I, m drunk. But thats another story. By the way ,there are rude and unpleasant people everywhere. Did you get to eat crab yet? Try spider crab too... very delicate and yummy .

I have learned after over 5 decades of life not to worry about what others think about my appearance or anything else about me. Their opinions, to be honest, really don't mean much. Those who stare, have no home training. I have seen many different types of people throughout my travels around the world. Each one has emotions, cares, concerns and want to be accepted by society because we are basically social creatures.
My mom had a cleft palate and she went through surgeries as a child. She still has a scar under her nose. I never paid attention to it.
My wife had a skin problem on her face when she was young growing up in Mexico. So to this day she does not have smooth skin on her cheeks and forehead. I suppose some folks might look at that and think about it. But my wife has never expressed any feelings of despair about it. I don't even have second thoughts about it. I find her beautiful.
Bottom line: people who think less of you due to appearance are not worthy of your wonderfulness. There are a lot of people in this world who see your worth beneath the surface.

I'm not very good at empathy or advice, but you're sexy AF. If anyone says otherwise, then they are insecure towels, who are just projecting because they're psychopaths.

Okay I had to click on your picture to check this out for myself and this is my take. You are a lot more attractive than you give yourself credit for. To put it in perspective, I would be intimidated to ask you out in public because you are clearly out of my league.

Now as far as that goes, I'm pretty much ranked right there at "mud fence" on the attractiveness scale and it doesn't bother me a bit to say because I'd rather have people around me that like me for who I am and not what I look like. Also the reason I've got like four friends locally.

I do not see "hideous" or "freak." I hear someone who has been emotionally abused. That takes time and effort to recover from - I'm still working on that myself (but I've made a lot of progress, and so can you).

I'll be as critical of your appearance now as I can be: while there is really nothing wrong with how you look, if I had your face and hair, I'd probably get some light, wispy bangs, either curved all the way across, or long enough to part in the middle. If you want, maybe you could play with photoshop and see if that haircut appeals to you more. It's your body though, so it's a matter of what makes you most comfortable in it. If you don't like bangs, or want them differently than I described, or whatever you want to do or not do with your hair or anything else, more than feel free to ignore my suggestions.

(((hugs)))

Sarahroo29 I had to look at the photos on your profile after reading this.

ABSOLUTELY NO WAY are you hideous or a freak.

End of!

You are definitely not a freak. You might not confirm to Hollywood standards, but I'll bet very few of us here do. I truly hope that you can find a partner that isn't a complete self-absorbed asshat. You seem like an awesome woman that definitely deserves so much better.

First of all, you are NOT hideous. I think you're really cute, and you have a great smile Secondly, I'd guess that you end up with guys who act that way because of your OWN lack of self confidence - the "I don't deserve better" syndrome. Screw 'em. You DO deserve better, because you're a ROCKSTAR dammit!

You are not a freak. I didn't think of you as any different from anyone else when I first had a look at your profile - and I still can't see any evidence of the surgery with a second look.

From a personal perspective, I like women who are strong and confident, who are happy with the person that they are and are comfortable in their own skin. That confidence shines though and adds to their beauty. None of my ex's have been what would be described as classically beautiful, but were all beautiful in my eyes - it's the entire package that counts.

It's a bit like first aid - if you don't keep yourself safe, you can't keep anyone else safe. If you don't love and respect yourself, why would anyone else?

Bullying is horrible and takes that self respect away - it's a bit like religious indoctrination, tell someone often enough they are worthless and you start to believe it, despite all the evidence to the contrary. There is no easy answer to kicking off the shackles left over from bullying and I hope you find the strength and confidence to overcome your doubts about yourself. You always come across on here as an intelligent and confident young lady and I hope that someday soon you will meet a man who doesn't fit the stereotype that all we look for in a woman is a slim waist and great boobs. Some of us put personality first.

I have a friend in his mid. 70's who was born with a cleft palate (Do the math). They did not have good surgery to correct it back then. So it's obvious. He has some loss of hearing - and he doesn't speak that clearly - but we've remained the best of friends for decades because he cares about the kind things and has a wicked sense of humor. - I'm also friends with his wife - who is plenty decent looking. And she's a kind person. (Also both are quite intelligent). - They still have sex! (Gives me hope for old age). She volunteered that one day and I was all "Wow!". - So there is someone out there. And it's not all looks. - That being said I really don't see anything odd about your facial structure? And I took plenty of art classes so I'd notice. - I suspect you are exposed to some folks who have no common sense about keeping their mouths shut. (Nothing nice to say? Say nothing at all). Hang in there lady! - And if there is some feature that really bothers you? Go to a makeup class. Or do some online research. It is amazing what people can do with makeup to change features THEY don't love.

the world is full of assholes, those that see themself in everyone they meet. The amazing thing is that a standard is set and we all live by it in OH so many ways

I am not a doc but your condition must be rearer than the others....by far; 20 surgeries are "one too many".

BTW, I don't know if I am pretty or ugly but I have been called ugly all my life....

What counts is what you are as a person.

Also, this.
In the immortal words of the late, great Bernie Mac...

Studies show that all people, even babies a couple of months old, stare longer at, and show attraction to, faces with even features. That means a face that is more "average" than others, better known as "beautiful."

They found that genetic diversity is what causes the even features, thus the attraction to someone genetically diverse is an evolutionary advantage. They even found that people in the work place who have at least one beautiful colleague are much happier and more productive than those in offices with unattractive people.

Furthermore, attractive people get more promotions, are shown more favor, etc, and can usually get by in life with less effort than most.

So, evolution is stacked in favor of women with even features, and bodies that signal fertility..an hourglass figure with slim waist, full breasts, and curved hips since most cis males want the best female to reproduce them.

But there are plenty of LGBTQ people who don't fit that trope, and also imperfect/unattractive people who are also looking for love. Are you willing to date these types of people?

We're so much better than our looks, which are purely superficial and looks always fade, Don't let assholes get you down, they're just showing their ignorance!

It is difficult, peoples first impressions are Based on appearance, but if people take the trouble to get to low you they should appreciate you for your many fine qualities.

Dear Sarah I could give you a lot of guff about looks not being important but we both know that it is. However it is NOT the most important thing just one of them. There are loads of hot guys out there with total bitches that ruin their lives and vice versa. I know FOR A FACT that there are millions of chaps out there that would simply adore you. These guys are shy, unassuming maybe not great lookers, live with their parents or alone and have hobbies to occupy their time. Maybe it is time to even up the odds?

ex. I have a good friend who suffered from poor self image all her life. She is a big girl from E Germany and has had a string of losers as bf`s. A few years ago she got a motorbike, went on rallies etc and mixed with the bikers (we are not talking hells angels here, just bikers). Now she has set up home with good guy and is happy.

Do you play chess? I only ask as chess players are 99.9% guys! You do the maths

Looks are secondary...A person's real beauty is on the inside, in their soul. A lot of good looking people have an ugly soul, and they will only attract people who are as shallow as they are. A sincere person, whether it be a friend, lover, or whatever, will see you for who you really are, and that is the kind of person you want to be with... [An aside: I have a neurological motion disorder which manifested itself when I was in my 20s...It makes me shake as if I've had about a hundred cups of coffee. I get stares and pointing children, and people even avoiding me in stores and restaurants. There's nothing I can do about it (even as far as medication), so I decided to own it instead. (hence the screen name, and I even encourage my co-workers to call me 'Twitch' instead of John, though few of them do)...]

One of the things I find attractive is intelligence, and you obviously possess that.

If it's not too forward of me, I think your real problem may be a lack of confidence. I don't know how you would approach a guy, but you should believe that any man you approach is a lucky bastard because you are interested. You should believe that because it's true.

People get especially freaked out when someone embodies a mixture of desirable and undesirable traits. I should know. I was bullied my whole life under these circumstances.

You have a rockin' body; you're slender and fit. This makes men and women go crazy--for completely different reasons. I've observed that many heteromen get weird and/or hostile toward women they find attractive and intimidating. It's like they have to reject you before you reject them.

A slim, fit body is likely to be intimidating to many people who aren't as slim/fit. That's just how people--men and women--are. (Speaking from experience, here.). With heteromen, fitness in women seems to be especially fraught. I think it relates to the old sexist program that says men are supposed to be the strong ones. A strong, fit woman kind of obviates that "need"; some men can find that intimidating, aggravating, distasteful, even infuriating--maybe without even realizing it. This sexist programing is some very deep stuff, usually.

But of course a healthy, shapely female form has an undeniable, natural and automatic effect on heteromen--so someone might feel an involuntary, immediate attraction, and then a millisecond later feel conflicted and upset about it when the subconscious social programing kicks in.

Then we have your unique face. You know it's different. You know it's noticable. It's not that bad, really. Not at all. What really makes it pop for the common onlooker is to contrast it against the rockin' body: the face says non-standard, this is someone who should be awkward and have confidence issues; the body says enviable, this is a person who should have amazing, ass-kicking confidence.

That kind of contrast can make people's heads explode. They don't know how to make sense of it. And they don't know how to deal with being jealous of you on the one hand, because you have something they want, and look down on you on the other hand, because you have something they don't want. That's just in general. Then you throw the potential or expectation of sexual attraction in there, and it gets even stronger, stranger.

Most of all, though: that kind of face and body combo can make people think of someone with incredible, unstoppable confidence--like, "I don't know how she does it..."; "If that were me, there's no way I could..."; "What's her secret?"; "I wish I had the power she's got..."; "Man, there is something really special going on there..."--and that's yet more potential fodder for jealousy, insecurity, and the she's-out-of-my-league preemptive strike.

Fact: you have admirers that you don't know about, because there are people out there that aren't hung up on looks, per se, but admire the dedication and discpline to craft a fit body.

Fact: looks don't stop many connections from forming.

Fact: you are an outlier, and it's lonely out here. But being an outlier means you have a built-in filter for weeding out the shallow, petty people who don't deserve you anyway.

Be strong, be patient, and wait for your moment. The air is thin at the top, but it's sweet.