Consider yourself lucky

The age thing can be a deal breaker but truth be told most of the young ones have great bodies ?

@Capricorn but no skills at all. I'm not interested in explaining a clitoris to someone.

@Emerald ????? the struggle is real

As if on cue, just opened my match account to find a chat message from a 24 year old kid. FML.

@Emerald honey you better tame that cub ?

Yes it is exhausting the narcissism is disgusting

What is FWB?

@stinklizard Friend With Benefits-Sex with no emotional ties or commitment, don't bother with going out on dates, etc.

Completely understand, that doesn't sound strange your comfort level is just that & if a man can't respect that, tell him to kick rocks lol

Don't start dating it's exhausting!

@Capricorn Yep just hanging out is way more fun and easier!

It happens to the best of us I'm afraid keep fighting the good fight

@Humanistheathen investing time and energy into one person that I can possibly see settling down with, the one man who irritates my soul but I'm perfectly fine with it ?

@Humanistheathen I'm not one of those women who needs a lot of material things, I prefer quality time, so doing things together makes me extremely happy it's just that whenever I think I've finally nailed this dating thing I hit a brick wall

Not all of us are in it for the "benefits" but sadly distance is a factor.

@Humanistheathen sure. Initially a date or 2 to see if we are compatible. If so, continue dating (make each other dinner, movies on tv, zoo, music at a dive bar, etc). Hopefully eventually an exclusive relationship.

I’m not comfortable with men spending money on me. I don’t need grand gestures or gifts. Be interested in me as a person. Want to know me. More than just what my body can do to please you. Yes, physical affection and sex are extremely important to me, but not on the first date. I get that guys are going to try. But at least pretend to give a damn about me other than what my holes can do for you.

Does that answer your question? If not, please be more specific about what you want to know. I just want someone to be interested in me as a person as well as for sex.

@Humanistheathen smart man

@Marcie1974 So simply put and appropriate....

That sucks.

Totally feel your pain, I don't know when men became such lazy daters but it's aggravating

Omg don't get me started on those assholes lol

?

I've met men who have their faults but I don't try and mold them into who I want them to be, if whatever their short comings are if I can't deal with them I'll bow out gracefully not try & get him to change because I'm uncomfortable, I don't have time to change a grown ass man.

I have self control over everything I do and don't have a problem fitting in, in any environment. I can curse or not, drink or not, be classy or not, be ignant or not, be ratchet or not. Funny thing the women before me we're exactly what they wanted most times but clearly that relationship didn't work, so there's that!

I don't know if this will help Capricorn, but as far as your comment jondspen, my online dating experience suggests that women no longer pick men they want to fix and instead they just shop on the dating site for men who seem to be already just what the woman wants. What they end up getting may be very different, but the women seem only willing to meet the men who meet their whole checklist, even tho many guys may be lying a lot about their qualities. Hence all the bitterness and disappointment we regularly hear about on this site.

@Capricorn I don't either...I am much more satisfied and comfortable to be alone than to be in a relationship that is so much work right out of the gate. And sure, those guys you dated obviously have a past, but your original post wasn't about them, it was why you seem to consistently get the same type of guy that wants to change you. And like I said in the last paragraph before my edit...I don't know you and couldn't give you anything beyond a guess at a few options that might be happening. I don't think that it's the case that all the single men in Middletown Ohio are looking to change every woman into June Cleaver, so that either means you are attracting the same type of guy, or you aren't as well leveled as you maintain (which I have no reason to doubt you). If I had to put money on it knowing what I know right now, from just online info...and knowing how people are....I would say you keep going for these types of guys, for whatever reason. That's the norm in the dating world and in life in general, we typically keep making the same mistakes over and over and over, until something clicks and we figure out how to get out of they cycle. Don't take that as gospel....but it's the best I can think of given my ignorance on you and them. BTW...why you coming here? You have any friends that perhaps you trust to give you a honest outside perspective on the sit?

@TomMcGiverin I'm not on any dating sites currently, I don't ask for outrageous things when it comes to men, my core values however are non negotiables. I didn't realize wanting a man who's consistent, loyal, open minded, self sufficient and honest ( just to name a few) was asking too much.

@Capricorn While it shouldn't be asking too much...it seems those traits are hard to find in people period, regardless of what's between their legs.

@jondspen I haven't been involved with any men in Middletown, they typically live in other cities or states. Most of them have been married previously, maybe that has something to do with it, I've never been married and have no kids so perhaps I'm not their version of June Cleaver

@Capricorn does the location matter? The point is that it probably isn't every single guy in Middletown, in the state of Ohio, or in the whole of continental USA, including Alaska, Hawaii, and territories (Puerto Rico and Guam) that want to change every woman into a robot. You said most have been married (but not all), so not sure why you think that is it, but I'm open to it being a possibility. So I guess the solution is to find a guy at around 42 that's never been married and doesn't have kids? That's an easy fix....maybe not finding per se, but easy enough to cross them off the list before getting involved.

Doesn't sound like that's the answer you want to hear though. Seems like you want validation that nothing is wrong with you, and all the problems have to do with every single guy (which very well may be the case). Again, why don't you ask your friends that know you and know the guys? Maybe they can give you better insight about the situation than random strangers on the i-net.

@Capricorn It isn't, but they may not have the looks that you are used to with the men you date. It's a hard pill to swallow that we both may have to drop our standards a bit on looks to meet someone that is right for us personalitywise. I have met exceptions to the rule, but most people with great looks do not have the best character and personality, mainly because they've never needed to develop those qualities when their looks could always carry things for them and get them everything they wanted.

@jondspen Believe it or not I've met men with no kids no ex wives but they just wanted to screw

@Capricorn So...ex-married guys want to turn you into a robot...and never married guys just want sex. OK...all men are shit...turn lesbo.

@jondspen welcome to my world lol. Nah I have a lesbian friend and her and her wife always arguing I need male energy to balance out my emotions

@jondspen I have sisters married and divorced friends the same thing. They all just give me words of encouragement basically. I see nothing wrong discussing an issue about women with women we all universally suffer the same nonsense, hence all the comments from other women

@Capricorn I think we all suffer the same non-sense, guys are just either wired biologically or programmed socially not to bitch about it. Bitching doesn't solve it, so guys don't talk about that stuff - instead they talk about how to squeeze another 3 hp out of a big block by incorporating a vortex air intake...you know...shit that actually matters! lol

@jondspen oh so now we "bitching? " lol in a perfect world a guy should be able to discuss his emotions with his peers and talk about how to squeeze another 3 hp out of a big block by incorporating a vortex air intake at the same damn time! ??

@Donotbelieve yeah I know what you mean. One of the guys that ghosted me found another girlfriend three days later, moved in with her and now they're getting married. All that happened within a year.

That's a shame since when is caution a bad thing, smh

@Donotbelieve whoa that guy sounds hasty af

@Capricorn he was broke AF too. I really do think that he's just after money. Our last date I put gas in his truck, paid for dinner and paid for drinks. He scams the new one too . I know who she is and I check out her Facebook account on occasion. A few months ago she was bitching on Facebook about her new man's ex-wife being broke and not being able to pay her bills. She claims all of his money is going to his ex-wife and toddler child. I know for a fact that that is not the truth. He scammed me in different ways, but that was never one of them.

@Kojaksmom sounds like you escaped a dead weight.

@Bigwavedave yeah, I got lucky this time.

Follow their religious beliefs; political party, don't curse, don't drink, tone down my personality or some other bs.

@Capricorn I see... Well, you're right about not letting them change you. ??

@Capricorn sounds like you've fallen for too many conservative Christians lol

@Humanistheathen Yep, not to mention I'm very candid about the type of woman I am beforehand so it's not like I'm deceiving them

@IamNobody I don't mind feedback but damn let me evolve on my own time ya know

@Capricorn I have no doubt that you are very candid, but it's probably likely that these guys either don't bother to read your whole profile carefully or else just blow off what you say in it because they like your looks and want to sleep with you. And if they are good-looking, they can get away with being slobs and jerks because at least some of the women they message will put up with them and their behavior just because they want sex with a good-looking guy, at least for a while.

@TomMcGiverin I make it a point to talk to men on the phone for an extended period of time I don't waste my time on "textperts" so they know exactly what my voice sounds like, my personality, how my day was all that so there's no shock factor when they meet me as far as me being attracted to "good looking " guys I don't solely make a decision based off of that, I've never been the shallow type

@TomMcGiverin Annnd another thing if I merely wanted sex with someone good looking, I could take care of that myself ???

@Capricorn The problem with these guys is, unfortunately, that too many other women are attracted to them just on looks......

@TomMcGiverin looks don't necessarily impress me

@Capricorn I get that Capricorn. I was merely explaining that many OTHER women are that shallow and that's why these guys stay the way they are. Why should they change when they are already getting what they want?

@TomMcGiverin good point still doesn't make it right

@Capricorn sure

@IamNobody it's like they want me to hurry up and make them comfortable around me and then they'll decide if I'm worthy of being with them, but there's still no guarantee I'll be the chosen one

@Capricorn you don't have to explain anything to me and I don't want to change you. I don't have to.

@Capricorn Online dating is continuing to teach me that right and fair have nothing to do with how most people play that game, meaning online dating. I assume offline dating is no different.

@Humanistheathen it's that way too much with women. It seems like there's a tremendous amount expected of us when it comes to relationships

@TomMcGiverin the last guy I met in person was back in spring and I was crystal clear about my religious beliefs ( or lack there of) and that I'm not into politics, he swore up and damn down that was completely fine BUT as soon as he got comfortable enough with me ( about a month in) he started with his political rants all the damn time and tried to convince me to join the damn club, needless to say I got the hell out the way