It sounds like you've got quite the conundrum. Those of us who still cling to religion do so often for the fellowship and community. But if the church isn't giving a whole lot in the way of family and friends you can count on then you may have to go somewhere else to interact with your fellow man. Starbucks may have better chances for conversation.

that was very nice of you to take care of your father like that. Maybe it is just me but I would rather the people in my life be happy compared to me being right.

I take my husband's cousin who is a stroke victim and a deacon in the Episcopal Church to church when he asks me. He knows I am an agnostic atheist but he also knows I respect him. I cannot expect others to respect my beliefs if I do not respect theirs. Many of my friends attend this church. I feel they benefit from the social interaction and the social guidance it offers. I also feel many there are just as I agnostic as I am. We must all solve our own personal moral dilemmas in the way that is most comfortable for each of us.

My dad died several decades ago but I always remember when he told me why he did not believe in god. He was a very practical type of guy. An NCO in the royal navy. Hence the fact that I was born in Malta, where this story takes place. On day he and few of his shipmates were walking along the quayside in Valletta, when a local fishing boat had just pulled in. One of the crew had fallen overboard between the boat and the harbor wall. The sea was quite choppy and the boat was banging against the harbor, threatening to crush the hapless fisherman. Immediately all the boats crew and any Maltese who saw the incident, dropped to their knees and began to cross themselves. My dad and his messmates ran to the boat, sat on the harbor wall and tried to fend off the boat with their outstretched legs. Meanwhile one of their number ran and got a rope to lower down to the guy.

I can remember to this day what he told me " If religion means caring more about a mans soul than his life? Then I wanted none of it ". He never made a big deal about it, never protested when mum sent me off to sunday school, would attend church whenever a family event such as weddings etc. happened. I can see him now as he would go down on one knee and bow his head in military fashion. He did this out of respect for the occasion and family, not out of belief. (From what I understand, church services in the navy were not exactly compusarary but they would find some thing unpleasant for you to do in the meantime, if you refused to attend.) So for me, being an atheist is no great thing. I never had to come out, never lost anyone close because of my stance. I do feel for you folks stuck in the bible belt, I do.

It's really good of you to spend time with your Dad. I miss mine, he was agnostic and talks were WONderful. But just being with your Dad probably makes him very happy.

Used to go with my mother and her sisters to the reunion at the old home place. That was their grandparents property that's still in the family. Family members, who were so inclined, would go to the church nearby on the Sunday of the reunion weekend. I would tag along. Still remember a lot of the songs from my youth. There would be snacks and drinks afterward. Everyone was friendly and would greet us and mention how we were relatives of local church members. So, hundreds of miles from my house, I had a regular church. Once a year.

You're a good daughter.

"...shake our hand and then crickets!" What does that mean?

Fellowship in churches died decades ago, good on you for sending the time with your grandfather doing what he wanted.

Most church goers are good people, they just have strange beliefs about certain things because of their idiotic religion.