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Sex vs. intimacy

I want to know what people think about this? I’m sure this question has been asked. But, what is the difference for you? Can you have one without the other? Which comes first? And, more importantly, can you have intimacy without sex?

Alungabardi 4 Dec 12
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14 comments

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0

Personally, intimacy freaks me out.

I prefer to keep people at a distance, so with sex, that's still possible.

Intimacy involves another lay of vulnerability that I'm more reluctant to allow.

3

Sex is the act. Anyone can have that. Intimacy is far more, adding an emotional connection, trust and wanting to return the same.

1

As the old commercial for Reese's candy bars goes, two great tastes that taste great together.

3

To me, sex is simply putting whatever parts together for pleasurable feelings. This can be done without knowing one another's names, or much else about each other. You might never kiss, or look into each other's eyes. And it might last only a minute or two, or maybe all night - but just long enough ...

Whereas intimacy involves at least a fairly strong mutual liking, caring, and wanting to please. Gazing at one another. Pillow talk. Tender touch. Desire for more time together. All those lovely interchanges ! And very likely enough attachment to have a life together beyond the bed (or wherever).

One is not necessarily better than the other. All depends on what people are seeking at any given time.

3

Speaking personally here, I'd far rather have intimacy than simple sex.
Intimacy is the unification of the emotions of 2 people whereas simply sex is merely the satiation of an urge.

3

Honestly, I couldn't care less about having sex. Intimacy honestly is all ive ever wanted in life

So many people have it confused - my judgment

@Alungabardi most people just want to satisfy the need rather than fixing it

3

Sex by itself is good. When there's intimacy with it is way better.

7

Each one separate is nice... Both together is amazing...

For sure! Sex is the activity, intimacy is the feeling.

0

Yes

2

I don't think there is anything more intimate than someone seeing your genitals...do you mean emotional intimacy?

I think you can have sex just for the fun and physical without getting tied into emotional intimacy, but, like I said, seeing you in your glory is kinda intimate...

I also think you can be intimate without sex...just being close to someone, sharing thoughts, etc. A hug or a kiss can be intimate or not...

I deeeeefinitely do not think seeing another persons genitals is intimate - it’s about context! What if it was an accident? What if the person is embarrassed? What if I judge them for their genitals? Intimacy is WANTING to see the genitals. Seeing genitals can be intimate but I don’t believe it to be the most intimate. Penetration is more intimate

@Alungabardi Good point...I was only thinking of purposely showing them, but then I never thought about porn stars and others who do it for a living...thanks...

I've had sex without kissing - which I consider far more intimate than sex.
I've also had sex where there was so much haste, just enough was uncovered , we barely even saw genitals at all ! Ha.

@evergreen Kissing is definitely intimate for me...I have had sex where I won't kiss...

I guess I was thinking of a lover that I once told him I couldn't tell him something so intimate and private....his response was: I have seen your pussy...anything you tell me can't be more intimate than that...ha ha it obviously stuck.

2

Also sex can happen right away - intimacy takes time to develop. And I have had intimate relationships that were never sexual - so yeah, not mutually exclusive but best together if possible.

2

It is possible to have either sex or intimacy without the other. However, sex is best when there is intimacy as well.

1

Intimacy

noun

  1. Close familiarity or friendship; closeness. "The intimacy between a husband and wife."

Synonyms: closeness, togetherness, affinity, rapport, attachment, familiarity, friendliness, friendship, amity, affection, warmth. "The sisters reestablished their old intimacy."

  1. A private cozy atmosphere. "The room had a peaceful sense of intimacy about it."

  2. An intimate act, especially sexual intercourse.

Sex

noun

  1. (Chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse."He enjoyed talking about sex."

Synonyms: sexual intercourse, intercourse, lovemaking, making love, sex act, (sexual) relations.

9

They can be mutually exclusive, but everything is more fulfillng when you have both.

^^Boom! Nailed it.

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