Gads... how awful it must be for all of you... Thank goodness, aside from being too humble, I am pretty much perfect.
that should cover it.
Criticizing others would be hard for me to give up. ????
Maybe. You'll be happier if you do though.
Maybe if you change it to critiquing, it will at least sound better?
@Blindbird Lol I am happy tho.
@BeeHappy Hahahah maybe but I don't care how it sounds since I criticize everyone including myself. Lmao. I'm an asshole.
@AccursedHalo then I wouldn't worry about it.
3, 6, and 8, but I’m not giving up any of them.
#8 for me please..
You got it Charlene!
Mine has changed from 'being criticised by my mom for any little tiny imperfection' to being internalised and having to get everything I do just right, to gradually accepting imperfection bit by bit in things that just need to be done sort of OK and that's good enough, but still my default is perfection.
But now it is getting somewhat positive, I see getting things exactly right as a type of art and am less concerned about the negative side that something isn't perfect, sometimes it either takes too long or is too fussy, so sometimes I just accept what is, but enjoy what I like
3 for me...I need a better filter sometimes.
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
I am horrible at criticizing others, don't get me started in heavy traffic. I have lots of negative self talk, and fear of failure and procrastination. I am so good at procrastination.
You sound like a lot of the rest of us.
I have trouble with most of those. I just hope I can manage to accomplish some significant change in these areas. It's much easier said than done. But the first three are especially harmful and toxic to a person's well-being.
6 almost like Homer Simpson "Never do today what you can put off untl tomorrow". My stepdad recognized this in me at an early age and gave me one of these:
Lol!
I used to have one of those!!
Holding grudges...
I think I've learned enough to know that a tiger doesn't change its stripes.
This statement combined with your screen name provides delicious irony.
@Blindbird actually, in my casual Buddhist readings, one of their beliefs is to avoid toxic people...
If not, I'm adding it for them... lol
@Buddha I've not come across that in my reading. Most of what I've read has been about understanding and accepting how people are.
Would have to be number 6. The rest, not so much.
Yep, me too.
Focusing on 1 and 2 I've noticed a few people whose mothers told them they were the best thing there ever was from an early age and they've gone through life believing it, that they deserved the best in everything and have been amazingly successful at many things, though overconfident disasters at others.
They convince others how wonderful they are and get good jobs and live a charmed life.
as for the rest of us we get criticised and end up with a ton of negative self beliefs
1,2,3,5 and 8. F. M. L.
Sorry. Maybe we can help.
I was thinking 1 Self rejection and 2 Negative self-talk are similar and must originate from being told at an impressionable age that we are no good.
3 Criticising others is a sort of leveling the field by saying others aren't much good either, a face-saver that gets us in even more trouble
could be construed as trying to get praise off others to make up for the lack of it from the people who used to matter in our lives, oh, I do that one too.
Fear of failure is something I'm really sensitive to because it just verifies what I've always believed, so cognitive fluency assists this emotion as much as it does all the others
Procrastination is due to Fear of failure
We wouldn't live in such a negative environment if others hadn't made it for us, so it is likely to follow from all the above though not necessarily.
I've been criticised constantly so perfectionism is the result.
I rather simplified procrastination for impact.
Procrastination affects pretty well everyone and can be mainly due to laziness though a person would have to be very low in energy or unmotivated (depressed most likely) to be due to that alone.
Usually there is a large or small contribution from fear, or unfamiliarity. A sort of generalised fear which leads to reluctance to leave the comfort zone is usually enough.
And then there's the joy of the delay, having a nice coffee instead of clearing up the dog mess