Personally I don't really think of this as a dating site. The number of people close enough to date is pretty small. I do enjoy the site. Some of the responses are so well thought out ( not mine of course) and well stated. It's fun.

For myself it isn't about any one thing - but the overall impression of the whole profile .

Kindness and humor are my two biggest draws. I read what someone has written and how they've replied to others.

I first check their age. Then see if there is anything on their bio that would connect us. The pictures help too, mine probably doesn’t help me.......

Welcome to our site and may you find... hope, happiness, fun, friendship, joy and more among equals. Just be yourself. You will see their posts, their point of views, there will be trolls and good souls alike. There will be those with views that won't be tamed... worshipers of the truth and the lie. But you will learn little by little about all the layers that us, complicated humans provide to the world. You will like some more than others and you will follow those you are interested in. And despite the disappointments... you will comeback for those you are attracted to. Because you want to know more. You will want to match the voice to the picture. It is 21st century. We are more than pictures and stories of our lives. I don't think nobody will ever know me but I never faulted anyone for trying. You got a whole life ahead of you. Enjoy the ride of the world we live in.

never the pictures.
I will message people without pictures,
but what I read had to be compatible with what I believe and that is will be comfortable for me.
I messaged a girl once because her profile said she was 192 cm tall, (6ft6). I messaged to see if she had made a mistake, she hadn't we chatted, eventually a long phone call and finally some visits, even though she lived 5 hours drive away. My initial contact was merely a courtesy in case she had erred. She never had a pic on her profile. I deliberately avoid pics if I can , or put up shockers.

For me it has nothing to do with pictures, I message someone because I find them interesting mostly because of common interest, thinking or approach to life. Sometimes I just want to continue a discussion.

Idk I'm a silly fook so i don't get to into the dateing aspect

For me, it's mostly pictures. And not just because they need to look pretty either. It's more of an understanding of how they act towards society. For example, if they are more of the 'looking down' type then it's a no go. But if they look presentable and not just a complete snob or anything dismaying, I usually read their bio to see what their values are and if we are compatible. And then it's my amazing social skills, that I don't have, that muck it up after that cx

Pictures, location, bio.

For dating, I check age, gender, and location, first, then whether they smoke cigarettes and whether they have/want children. Then I look at pictures which, while not as important as the abovementioned, are still a factor.

I'm not really looking for anything, so my experience and perspective might not be too representative of the general membership, but I'm more likely to message someone if there's something about them that I share in common (e.g., a fondness for dogs or a similar esoteric view about something). But I haven't messaged many people here, regardless. Just a handful, and only a few I routinely keep in touch with.

As I usually see pictures first, it is thw first criteria I judge on. If someone catches my eye I'll click on their profile. Then I tend to have a short checklist that will lead me to dismiss someone. Things like religion, political views, if they're a smoker, etc. If they meet all my criteria then I look more into their profile, see if their personality seems to click with me, similar interests, hobbies, etc. Then I will probably message them.

It can be the pictures but seriously, I get tired if messaging women because they skip over me because of my size. I think your particular pictures are fine, I followed you because of them. Kinda creepy I know. LOL

What creates the first desire to message?

Many guys seem to be motivated, as you surmised, by photos, and here, perhaps the % system. I think the deeper ones are more likely to be influenced by your mind, as seen through your writings, but they still want to like the view.

Would I message first?

I am, by nature and training, cautious when dealing with those I don't know (well). Therefore, my inclination is to interact as a friend would, getting to know the other that way. Your way may differ, that's fine.

If, in a friendly manner, there'd be something I'd speak about to JUST that one person, sure, I'd message 'him'/('her'?). Be aware tho', some people keep the role of 'seeker' for themselves and may be miffed.

A method I use (not a secret) is to like/follow a person of interest. See what they have to say, scout some yourself. If the topic moves you, comment. We can't control everything, but we can open some doors.

Good luck @katlight02

It just depends. I'm shy so I don't really pm. But now if a woman messages me then we'll chat.

Kindness and humor are my two biggest draws. I read what someone has written and how they've replied to others.

I don't really message anyone. There's no point in giving any opening for false hopes.

I try not to judge on looks but lets be honest we all do it. Also, When pics are too pretty, or have funky names I tend to think it might be a possible bot or one of those scammers. But I also like to check out the profiles and see if theres a way I can relate to a prospect in any way... mainly similar interests. E.g. I love movies, books, music, and gasp anime... which is sadly a thing which seems to be a turn off for many ladies.

Even though I love something which has as much, if not, more variety than say American TV. And I love a really good story. Now... I have thought about leaving anime off of my profile. But I feel as if that would be like hiding a part of myself and if I did get any likes from that they would be... fake or... empty...

Aside from that, and getting back to the subject, I do talk and text with people more my age though they are harder to find on the internets than you would think. Dont try to start a conversation of cheesy one liners... but instead ask a thoughtful question or comment about something you found on their profile... in a respectful manner of course.

Picture, intelligent bio, humor on bio and comments.

I cannot reasonably answer this question as I've yet to be the first to message anyone, but some have messaged me though.

I believe that men are more sight/oriented than are women. At least, it's a great place to start!