I had a really good friend whose husband contracted prostate cancer. Instead on chemo and radiation they decided to pray the cancer away. Three years later he was in a lot of pain and went to the doctor. Turns out he now had inoperable prostate cancer. I really wanted to tell her how much of an idiot she and her husband was, but figured him dying was punishment enough. By the way, she's still a fundamentalist christian.

Your ailments are because of her crappy genes, not your lack of faith.

Your life is yours and your mother has her own. Just let her know that you'd be glad to be there for her and that until she has the ability to question her faith, religion needs to be a topic the two of you avoid. No one will ever change until they're willing to do so. Otherwise, both of you will likely just build up even more resentment.

Come to an acceptance and understanding that you cannot change her and LET IT GO. To do otherwise leaves you right where you are and prevents you from living your own truth.

My folks are devout Mormons, I am a single tattooed 41 year old woman,a 4 plus year sober recovering addict and Buddhist (technically atheist as we do not believe in a supreme being), who had a baby for a gay male couple. What most would expect is a tenuous (at best) relationship. In reality we are closer now than we have ever been. I live my truth, they see me for who I am. Presently they are trying to get me to stay with them for the winter, the fact that I’m actually happy about it, defies the logic of my siblings and to some degree my own.

This is where the importance of “namaste” comes in, which if you didn’t know already loosely means: the light in me honors the light in you. I often substitute word light for truth.

Tell her that the tendencies for the diseases you have are inherited. In other words, you got them from her. Quote to her the biblical phrase: "The sins of the fathers( and mothers) are visited on their children." In other words, your conditions are the results of her sins. That might stop that demeaning crap from her. If that does not work, ask her if she is trying to kill the relationship between you and her?

How does she explain christians who have asthma

I can relate. My step-mother has tried on many occasions to pull that sort of guilt trip on me. I usually try to explain the science of such things. Then I will go into asking why god inflicts infants and children with horrible diseases if these are forms of punishment. Early on we had a few discussions on religion and my conversion out of it. Without knowing it at the time, I basically used the street epistemology tactic, loosely, to confront her belief. After about a year of doing that every time she brought up religion, she basically stopped bringing up religion. Oh, she still makes a point of saying stuff to someone else while i'm in earshot of it, but she doesn't really engage me with such conversations. Which is just fine by me. I will speak up if I hear something negative or misleading against atheists, but I generally just ignore those comments from across the room when they are not directed specifically to me. I do make a point to drop little nuggets of opposition equal to her comments. We just don't usually engage directly. This has worked to keep the family somewhat neutral for about 5 years now. I'm not the only atheist in the family, but I am the most outspoken one.

I really feel for you in this situation. I have had to cope with having an estranged relationship with my family for more than 25 years but for a somewhat different reason. So you just have to keep a certain distance between you but maintain discrete contact, just don't let any discussion take place that allows the subject that is so painful to be raised. As for helping her to improve her own life, I don't think you will be able to, remembering the old saying "there is none so deaf as those who don't want to hear", You seem to be doing an excellent job of running your life and raising your son, so you can take comfort in that. Lots of long distance hugs also.

Yeah, stop talking to your mom, stop looking up to her. Don't let worrying about her kill or injure you. It sounds like she's always going to talk down to you and won't listen and is willing to die for it, by accepting that behavior and continuing to pretend to respect her, you're harming your own ability to make decisions for yourself and letting something you can't control stress you out. Find better people. It's not easy i know.

Kinda like how my mother says my anxiety and panic attacks are all in my head...or that I'm an actress...pretending

cirrhosis is my fault. or is it, i was born with the gene. maybe some of it, but somethings you can't stop.

Tell her it is more likely from her (your mother’s) genetic makeup than any thing her imaginary friend did to you.

If The Secret has helped so many people- why don't they live forever?

I find that I,ve been in almost the same position .
I Was told that my stroke was Gods way of making me a better person and even punishment for past sins .
I always replied that I got off lightly with a solemn exasperated sigh .
I don't think there's a lot you can do unfortunately .

My heart goes out to you. I personally haven’t experienced this directly, but my grandmother put my mother through your situation and it shows in her insecurities. Every time she brings up church it’s always her way of thinking that it will erase the effects of mental abuse she suffered from my grandmother. As for what you can do to cope with this is tough. It sounds like you don’t have much people to turn to that share your views. Most believers of older age are already set in their ways. At the very least I guess you can reach out to people like us here on this site. Not because you need to rely on other people, but because you need to know you’re not the only one going through tough situations like these.

Consider yourself lucky to have survived your childhood with her as your caregiver.
Some of the extremely deluded will forsake taking their seriously ill children to get proper medical care and instead rely on God to heal them only to have the child die because of it.
Parents are starting to be brought up on criminal charges for this now.

It's very good that you're writing about this issue, because that helps to lead you to a resolution. You're on your path & your mother is on hers -- but you're an ADULT, ergo she doesn't OWN you! Live your life & let her live hers. Agree to be different.

You can't change her but you can enforce boundaries. Tell her you only take medical advice from doctors and until she completea medical school she's not allowed to say anything about your health except "I hope you feel better soon." If she won't follow the rule hang up the phone on her. Most parents, even really bad ones, want to stay in contact with their adult offspring and will eventually learn how not to drive you away as long as you are firm on what you are and are not willng to tolerate.

Sadly this is what religion does. It is like a disease to the brain. I would not answer the phone when she called. I know that sounds hard, but true.

Don't answer the phone when she calls....

Old-school-drivel! Overtures of original-sin-trash along with underpinnings of the louis-hays-bullshit. Dark-disturbing-morality that has also got much to so concerning inept-father-mother-roles with truly toxic-emements of fanatical-riligions such as idiots preventing their young children not being given life-saving -medical treatment as their primary-caregvers issist on "spiritual-healing" which furhter exasberbates in death due to the utter stupidity & gullibility of their parents. Throw in a healthy-dose of totalirian-based-parentage & voila! Death by ignorance becomes-lethal!

I see myself in this post so much. My conservative religious parents blamed my cancer diagnosis on my being transgender. And then turned their collective backs to me (their only child and the only one who is able to carry on the family bloodline) during chemotherapy when I decided to wear pretty dresses to my infusions, even blocking me on social media. Religious individuals who possess no means of thinking for themselves really lack ethics in any form. At some point, you just gotta give up on family and move on without their baggage.

Tell her that she should be more mindful of what she says to you, before she finds herself alone and without a daughter and grandson. That you are at the end of your rope with her bullshit. If she wants to have y'all in her life, then she needs to make the necessary compromises. Be very direct!

I am so sorry this happened to you! THEY just were raised that way, I suppose is the only "excuse", it's the same old same old "Punishing GOD", who loves us yet will let us fall into a tractor shredder if need be if it's "their time". Find an Athiest doctor I say, let him talk to her and then she can "pray for him". Urgh,

Tell her to read the book of job. There is an entire book in the Bible telling people not to do what she is doing.

Yes you read that right. An entire book telling them not to blame misfortune on not having faith.

It is their book if they want you to follow it they should follow it first.

People like her scare me...scare me in the sense of what they can do to mankind.