Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe depression. If your depression issues are so bad you can't work I'm thinking you probaby shouldn't be dating either. And with those depression issues were issues with Mama. My doctor called him a hot mess,and she told me he wasn't helping my hot mess either. She was right.

Christian.

Inability to say they are sorry, even when they have identified that they were in the wrong.

Insistence on telling me about her previous boyfriends.

Excessive attachment to parents. Emotionally dependent and still living at home at 30 years old.

A drunk or drug addict.

Most men don't want to date me because of my anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I'm okay with that now. Most of them even have it themselves, but won't admit it. People want a Mr. or Ms. Right. I'll enlighten people on that-You will be looking for the rest of your life for a perfect person with no issues, a ton of money, a high paying job, perfect personality, hot body, good in bed, etc... All I have to offer is emotional support, good conversations, unconditional love, and friendship. Men don't want that. They want someone to finance them. Buy their wants and needs. I'm too old to be playing mommy again. Which is why I choose to remain single.

I'm not a smoker-a cancer survivor who needs to stay away fromsmokers I know now. I'm a lightdrinker and have the right to have a drink when I feel like it. Gamblling is something I abhor and don'twant to make sense of. I love music and live performances. I am a freespirit and don't like being controlled by others.

The only one that truly caught me by surprise was DID. It's been a very challenging road, but each day brings with it a bit more clarity. I had the advantage, I suppose, of getting to know them well before they revealed that to me and it's never been something I viewed as a dealbreaker. Just like I wouldn't leave someone if they had a medical issue, like diabetes or cancer, I wouldn't walk away over a mental one either.

A psychological issue would not be an issue unless it was a personality disorder or the person's behavior was mean, selfish and thoughtless. Some people with mental disorders can cope pretty well and only need a little emotional support. Smoking would be more of a deal breaker because the smell grosses me out, I have quit many years ago, and I do want to stay a non-smoker. Not being able to apologize or admit when you are wrong is a deal breaker for me. Control issues are a fire blazing stop sign.

anerexia,

I got surprised when someone I kind of knew for a year and a half suddenly displayed signs of severe BPD as soon as we just started to get to know each other better. I could deal with a mild case of it, especially if they were actually trying to improve themselves - but the whole unwilling to get better, including unable to recognize that there is a probem, isn't going to work. Actually that goes for any disorder, including non-terminal physical disorders. Yeah, for both physical and mental there is a point of "can't get better than this for now" that I'm not going to blame anybody for, and so long as it's not so bad that it would make the relationship an overall negative or unworkable, plus this is someone who I'm really interested in for whatever reason(s), that's okay enough.

Also, when I was young, I got surprised when the guy I was dating suddenly developed schizophrenia - and it started off with a really severe episode. I have a lot of schizophrenic friends now, but most of them have it under enough control, and I understand the disorder better now, so I understand that near-catatonic states do not actually last forever, and don't really happen past the first time, if they ever happen, so long as the person remains under proper treatment.

Surprises and deal-breakers are not the same thing to me. Something can be both, but they don't have to be.

Narcissism is a big one. Also, someone who closes themself off emotionally. Or course, when you meet someone you don't expect them to be an open book (although that's a dealbreaker if they're too open too quickly), but as you get to know them they can't remain emotionally distant. also, someone who doesn't take ownership for their life, who finds it easier to blame others or point fingers. Someone who doesn't have insight into themselves.

Controlling behaviour, and extreme self-centeredness. Had never experienced that in a long-term relationship until the last one.

Psychological land mines, social anxiety, and introversion. Sorry, but I like to share experiences with people who are important to me and it's often more trouble than it's worth if getting one out of one's house is like pulling teeth every time.

Be very careful of anyone who (1)is not willing to make themselves vulnerable, (2) sees life as a win-lose proposition -- as opposed to a win-win, (3) has an absolute need to be in control, (4) cannot show any empathy, (5) has a need to constantly play control and "mind-fuck" games. I don't care how otherwise appealling they are, you will dealy regret getting involved with them.

Bat shit crazy. Other than that I'll give it a go.

My late ex-boyfriend and I were/are both bipolar, with traumatic childhoods that made for heavy baggage. I have spent years trying to deal with my issues, get my meds right, and find direction in life. He eventually gave up. But if someone is honestly doing their best to improve their lives, I do not believe I have the right to hold their issues against them.

I avoid extreme jealousy of any kind. People who want to make things up as being "true" when a logical timeframe makes the supposed issue absurd. Is this sort of argument gaslighting? I'm not sure. Years ago a GF came over and after our greeting she was upset that I continued to watch the news. It was on when she came through the door. Im not god's gift. Neither are you.
It goes without saying that I'm not fond of smoking. I don't smoke in my house. If you do then we are both smoking, so you have to smoke outside.

It bothers me when a person needs to see his family every week.

I'm not looking for a heavy duty relationship and I'm very up front about it.but men always think I don't mean it. have they never met a woman who they don't assume is trying to "hook" them? is this male ego or does everyone just think everyone else is lying?

I had a girl once who told me she was bi... By the time I figured out she meant bi-polar it was too late to run. Lol I'm kidding. Seriously I've been involved with two women who were bi- polar as long as she's taking her meds and trying to control it I'm good.

Here's a deal breaker - someone reaches out with phone info and then never responds. Quite rude.

Multiple personalities because the nymphomaniac is the first one to be repressed by chemicals.

My ex has antisocial personality disorder, my brother has all sorts of drug induced issues. I don't do mental illness except in its mildest forms.