Tho not polyamorous I am in an open marriage. This means a mutually agreed upon uncoupling of emotional & sexual connection, leaving economic & financial arrangements in tacked. Others have different arragements. I do have a friend in a 20 year polyamourous arrangement. It works for them.

Generally I think men like it cuz that means they can fuck around.

I think that humans were meant to be polyamorous. I think I always have been.

I have enough trouble figuring out what one woman wants.

Not into it but from what I've read the numero uno problem with it is jealousy. It seems natural selection has made us territorial in this regard. It's hard enough to navigate fairly well-defined traditional patterns of relationship, and I suspect adding more people to the mix doesn't just increase these issues arithmetically, but rather, geometrically. Or at least it does if you are going to approach it with the standard ego engagements, and I'm skeptical people can reliably do it without.

I have been wanting to get into it honestly and try it out, but I don't know where to start as well lol. I would love to know more about it and how to get into it

I don't think I'd like it if the person I'm in love with even flirted with other women, so I'm pretty sure I'm not built for polyamory.

I feel like I've seen so many posts about polyamory the last few days, and as such I'm not feeling up to repeating my entire history with poly. What I will reiterate is it's not for everyone, but when you meet the right person/people, it's a very liberating experience loving them. For people who have tried monogamy and always felt something lacking, whether intimacy or communication or sexual attraction, having that avenue to explore a relationship with multiple others at the same time is like having a drink of water when stuck in a desert, parched. I'd never be in a monogamous relationship again.

this again ?

My wife and I were raised in a monogamous Christian culture, but later learned we need not be controlled by religious ideals. We chose to adopt an open marriage lifestyle, and experienced a wonderful new world of excitement. We introduced our new view to my sister, who later said, "You have revolutionized my life. I can't thank you enough!" It's not for everyone. But definitely a valid option for many.

As long as everyone involved is game and open and honest, it can be a great dynamic.

That word sounds like you are wearing more than one bullet proof vest.

I'm fine with the person I'm with having sex with multiple people as long as I'm informed about it, it's equal and I can do the same, but I'm hesitant about them being emotionally attached to other people. I want to be the priority in someone's life. The closest I've come was being in an open relationship/friends with benefits with a guy. I experienced absolutely no jealousy while he went off and fucked all these girls he had lined up, but I found it much harder to do the same. Finding one guy I like is tough trying to find more was nearly impossible. I think I would be alright with my partner and I finding a 3rd together, but I would never be able to stand feeling like the 'second' partner.

I was involved in a Poly relationship for a while, fun. It helps if you are independent and don't mind your alone time. I was fine with it but like lifestyle,(swinging) jealousy tends to raise it's ugly head here and there..........

I shared this on another post about polyamory:

"Right now I'm sexually monogamous, but I haven't always been. I used to think I couldn't be monogamous, but as it turns out, I can be. I have, however, become much more selective with whom I'll share sexual intimacy with.

I didn't really know about polyamory/ethical non-monogamy for the longest time. I didn't have the language for why I kept falling in love with men while I was married. It kind of just happened and I thought I was just a bad person for not being able to be monogamous. I thought I was abnormal and sick. But I wasn't. Love makes everything so much better and gives me energy and as long as I'm honest about my activities to those I'm with, it's good.

I have a lot of interests and hobbies and therefore need a lot of friends to share these things with. No one person likes all the things I like and even if they did, that would get rather boring. I like talking about all kinds of things from math/physics/biology to psychology to history and literature, art, theatre and music.

Fortunately, I've always had guy friends and my husband of the time was cool with that. He was cool with me needing to flirt with them too and it became kind of a fun game and most times I'd come home and share that energy with my husband. But sometimes I shared that with that person. I gave myself permission to feel love and follow my affections. It actually didn't turn sexual that often but sometimes it did and it felt good to share that physical aspect without any expectation that it needed to be an ongoing thing. At first I didn't tell my husband about this sexual activity with others. I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want to break up with him either. I still loved my husband, even though I wanted to love others too.

Things changed when someone I fell in love with told me that they didn't want to be hidden from my husband and that if I wanted to see him, I needed to tell my husband the truth about what I wanted.

So...I spent a great deal of time learning about polyamory and I opened up to my husband how I was. Those were some hard conversations. I still loved my husband, and I knew that telling him meant I could lose him, but I had to be true to myself and if it meant I lost my husband, that had to be okay. I couldn't keep how I was from him any longer. It wasn't fair.

Even so, I still felt a bit guilty for being married and wanting to be with others. My husband was monogamous. I will say this: I'm glad he did try to make an open marriage work. He was super uncomfortable at times and caused him pain and he got angry at me even though he gave me consent. It was a very confusing and painful time for a while. At least until he started finding women he could date and it was a little better.

But we still ended up splitting up because of other issues we had (stemming from his drinking).

I'm glad we tried, though, to make an open marriage work. We just couldn't.

So, the partner I'm with now is the last lover I ever had when I was married. We've been living together since about 6 months after my divorce.

But after being married for 18 years and finally being free to love whomever I wanted, I set up an OKC profile to start dating. In 2017 I dated 5 men, all of whom were poly and two who were married and poly. I had a really nice time dating them and going to interesting places and learning about their lives and how they navigated multiple relationships. I found out that in some cases, their wives were having more regular sexual encounters with others than they were. I didn't have sex with any of them, because I wasn't actually attracted to them that way, which was kind of disappointing. I found I couldn't get past the kissing stage for a couple of them because while they were nice, very smart men, they didn't kiss well.

Only one of them ever gave me any kind of passionate feelings. He was a beautiful kisser and I felt things I hadn't in a long while. I wasn't expecting that because though we spent 6 hours together going to different trendy spots in Logan Square in Chicago, I didn't have any real opinion either way, but that he was nice and a good communicator. But that goodbye kiss...there was a whole universe in that kiss. He was the only one I ever felt anything for...and our second date was a weekend getaway at a meditation and movement retreat - a cabin in the woods with 8 other really cool adults. His girlfriend couldn't go so he asked me and I didn't even have to pay for it, which was amazingly cool of him. We almost had sex there at the retreat, but in the end, didn't. It turns out later he told me he was a high functioning alcoholic, and while we are still friends, for my own peace of mind, I had to keep my distance (not too hard as he's an hour away). But I still think of him often.

One of them turned out to be one of my very best friends, but I never get to see him enough because he's getting super busy with his girlfriend and his photogrpahy hobby."

Watching friends living in poly relationships it always seems that someone is missing out. I think a mono situation allows you to concentrate and give more. But each to their own, whatever works.

Thanks for posting this. Recent discovery and scrutiny of this has inspired my curiosity motivated by a sort of 'clinical' attitude; as either confirmation of expectations or correction and enlightenment about it. As of now, I see it as bridging traditions but at odds with Nature, like our pathogenic society, but in different probably less malignant ways.

Anxious to see your responses.

Eh, it's not for me. I think being raised in monogomous environments has a lot to do with it. I'm not at all bothered by others being poly, I just can't do it myself.

I don't do labels bro... I just do.