I was a christian for 26 years and was used to praying through the hard times to feel better. Now that I don't believe there is a god out there in control of everything, I've had to come up with other ways to de-stress. Sometimes I just remind myself of how far I've come and what I've been capable of. Sometimes I take deep breaths. How do you de-stress when things are tough?
Mindfulness meditation, exercise, sex (self & other), moderate alcohol consumption, hot tub, television.
Since you seem to be seeking things specifically to replace prayer, I would direct you to many, many options for meditation that are out there. I recommend books and audio programs by Zen Master Thich Naht Hahn and videos by deeply secular news anchor Dan Harris. There are even apps to guide you, such as Calm, Breathe, Insight Timer. I believe Sam Harris has even developed one called Waking Up.
Welcome to your new freedom!
The best way for me to de-stress is to do one of two things, or both together. I make a conscious choice to stop thinking about whatever has stressed me, but I first must resolve the stress-trigger as best I can. The best thing for me is to spend time with my dogs. They are about a 400 year old breed, and have been called "comfort spaniels" because they are incredibly good at offering comfort, as they are intuitive and empathetic, not to mention soft and cuddly! Just the act of hugging and cuddling is calming, but brushing or stroking the dogs can do the same thing. I can take that time to move my mind to more pleasant subjects...
Keep putting yourself in successively more stressful situations on a regular basis until eventually everyday stress becomes an exercise in monotony and you can no longer understand why trivial things bother some people. Then de-stressing will no longer be required because you won't get stressed in the first place.
That is NOT FUNNY reminds me of Archie Bunker going on TV "arm all passengers with guns to give superiority over armed hijackers to prevent hijacking airplanes
@GreenAtheist I wasn't making a joke
@Happy_Killbot that "plan" is how us veterans were trained for war....so you want our Feminist Atheist comrade to militarize herself normalizing terror in her life ?
@GreenAtheist I think people secretly desire stress in their lives. If everyone lived with the expectation that things were going to get tough, stuff is going to break, people are going to die and the universe is ultimately going to destroy any and all hope that we ever have, everyone would find it easier to cope with the inevitable grief that dominates so many people's lives and is one of the principal reasons that religion exists in the first place.
Stress and grief increases the value of the pleasurable peaceful moments, and being able to cope with great amounts of stress gives you a decisive advantage in times of chaos. It's like working out, you normalize higher amounts of weight and activity then you can lift more.
Reading a book to learn something. When im done, i know more than before start the book. And thats amazing, and comes with amusing feelings.
You had faith in God. It's time to put faith in people and government and assume that most will do the right thing, from teachers, to politicians, to everyday people. And that those who don't will be caught by practices and protocols set in place.
Take out the source of stress - it just makes life not worth living, so why try to live with it.
Talk to friends, Meet new friends with the same interest. join clubs or even do somrthing you passionate about. Like reading books, ebooks, manga or watch clips, movies, learn something you like or listen to audiobooks, music. There are lot of things you can find.
your methods sound good. if they work, they work! me, i smooch on my old felines and young puppy, give my guy a big hug is he hasn't been too big a pain in the ass, i play three computer games and one mobile game, and they're intense, so my concentration goes solely on them and not on my problems. i am not the type of person who lies in the sun at the beach; i splash in the water or walk around collecting shells. so concentration is my relaxation. it doesn't work for everyone.
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I have myriad ways. A nice glass of wine. sex, I live on the beach, so taking a walk watching the sunset,
My daily walks to the market listening to music.
Although, I've always been pretty good of letting things go, so loosing stress has never been that hard.
And, I like to do all of those thing anytime.
It depends on what I'm stressed over.
If it's something I have control over then I do whatever needs to be done as soon as possible.
If it's something out of my control then I remind myself of that fact and try to let it go.
Also, binge watching your favorite show on Netflix doesn't hurt either lol.
@LisaL81 I like to go into a flow state.
Hope these little de-stressors of mine lead you to find what works best for you.
Maybe go out and drink with friends. The friends part is important since hopeful the situation will be fun and alcohol if used in a safe manor can be a pretty good distressor but it can easily turn into a depressor if your not careful.
I think everyone else covered most of the ways to distress.
Listen to Solfeggio Frequencies, Theta waves, Hypnosis. Also close your eyes and do nothing but focus on your breath for 3 minutes. At the end of 3 minutes you will be completely relaxed
I took a 'Dealing With Stress' class once. One of the techniques taught was to sit in a chair, arms extended at your sides, and head leaning back. You close your eyes, and start imagining you are in some exotic place, you've always wanted to go. After awhile, you can "feel" the stress leaving your body through your fingertips. I've tried it. This actually seems to work!
Religion is stress....hell threats and heaven bribes induce fear and impossible goals....our Atheism is a return to our Feminist birthright....jobs and city life commuter traffic and fake news all raise stress levels BUT being calm is identifying each stressor and seeking refuge in your safest spaces....bubble baths sweet music having a tender lover comfort food swimming bicycling gardening or keeping fresh flowers in your home are lifestyle patterns of stress ELIMINATION rather than diversions from unidentified stressors
an hour at the gym, long walk with my dog (see profile pix), good single malt scotch, time with friends and family, afternoon at the beach, and most importantly . . . put it all in context and don't sweat the small stuff . . but thats just me
Exercise. I do a regular Muay Thai class now, 'cause I like thumping stuff.