If he doesn't call back, I caught him cheating.
"Hi, this is Mike with Nancy," his recorded message says. Surprise!
We planned to meet tomorrow for a first date. This morning, I called Mike to set a time and restaurant.
I was excited about meeting Mike. Enjoyed reading his book, "Trekking Washington."
"How long have you been divorced?" I asked the last time we talked. Five years.
Either he is living with Nancy or forgot to change his recorded message. If he doesn't call back, I caught him cheating.
We have not met, yet.
Take a hike, Mike!
Not looking to cheat, sweet.
Just set yourself free.
FUNNY UPDATE
Mike: "Okay! I've never listened to my phone message but I've never known a Nancy. Maybe that's how Woodmansee comes across."
Me: "It sounds like, "Hi, this is Mike with Nancy." Ha!
Mike: "That's funny! I need to enunciate better!"
17
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22 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.@Silver1wun, @evergreen, @KKGator, @dkp93, @Ms_McSteven, @Apunzelle, @RoyMillar, @Sgt_Spanky, @whiskywoman, @Wurlitzer, @RoyMillar, @1of5, @genessa, @ShadowAmicus, @thinktwice, @bobwjr
Funny Update
Mike: "Okay! I've never listened to my phone message but I've never known a Nancy. Maybe that's how Woodmansee comes across."
Me: "It sounds like, "Hi, this is Mike with Nancy."
MIKE: "That's funny! I need to enunciate better!"
Another crisis resolved.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
July 6, 2019
5
Uh-huh.
Nice save.
Don't mean to laugh....ha ha ha ha...Woodmansee...yep, I can see how that would sound like what you heard...ha ha ha
Have fun!
not the reason expected ... but does sound plausible
1of5:
Ohhh, he's good. This should be fun to watch. 
I'm confused, didn't you just meet this guy last week after Dr. Bill ghosted you?
Sgt_Spanky
Level 8
July 6, 2019
3
We have not met, yet.
Take a hike, Mike!
Not looking to cheat, sweet.
Just set yourself free.
@LiterateHiker I see. You're thinking he wants to cheat on Nancy with you. I guess that all depends on who Nancy is and what is their relationship. But, yeah, I'd probably make the same assumption. It's at least suspicious.
That's just an odd message regardless who Nancy is. Wouldn't you use 'and' instead of 'with'? Sorry if he turns out to be an ass.
dkp93
Level 8
July 6, 2019
2
Mike is Executive Vice President at Huwa Enterprises.
@Ms_McSteven We have mortgage companies named Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- they seem like a lovely couple.
His FB page says single, so I can't imagine he'd forget to change his phone message, too. Just ask him how his daughter Nancy is and see what happens.
1of5
Level 8
July 6, 2019
2
@1off5
His daughter's name starts with a "K" like her mother Kristi.
1of5:
@LiterateHiker oops Well, got rid of that one early.
Would still like to hear what he says, though, just because I like watching train wrecks.
Nancy could be his daughter - maybe there is a simple explanation - just allowing for an explanation ...... maybe call again, and again, till Nancy answers
ShadowAmicus
Level 8
July 6, 2019
2
@ShadowArmicus
His daughter's name starts with "K" like her mother Kristy.
In his book, there's a picture with a caption of her hiking.
@LiterateHiker bet somewhere in his bio he names his wife as Nancy - but could have worked out in his favour.
Don't worry - there is a huge queue willing and wishing to date a special woman like you
I hope he just forgot to change the message...I know I forgot to change mine at work, and I guess some people think I have been on vacation for three months now...
I hope it is a nice date...sounds like you both have a lot in common, but you also know the ropes and are prepared for the worst...
Let us know...best of luck...
thinktwice
Level 8
July 6, 2019
2
How could it possibly be cheating if you have not had a first date yet?
You have not even had a chance to lay out any relationship parameter.
BufftonBeotch
Level 8
July 6, 2019
1
Update:
Mike: "Okay! I've never listened to my phone message but I've never known a Nancy. Maybe that's how Woodmansee comes across."
Me: "It sounds like, "Hi, this is Mike with Nancy."
MIKE: "That's funny! I need to enunciate better!"
Another crisis resolved.
@LiterateHiker That's fine but how would it be cheating in the first place if you have not had a first date yet?
I think she was referring to him cheating on Nancy...if there was a Nancy
Exactly.
Hiker, CELEBRATE, that is the reason sites like this are good if you know how ti use them. Discuss ideas with people that can reveal the way they think and consequently many of their alleged values. Meet safely and give lots of time between meetings for 'red flags'. Any sign of them at all and BELIEVE THEM, don't try to disprove your gut or you'll later regret it. Observe how they treat other living beings, ALL OF THEM. If they deal honestly with others or even charitably. Do they or do they not, subtly try to give you un-broached or unsolicited advice or, worse yet, directives? All of these things and more MUST be determined as a basis to begin trusting. If you don't get that far - COUNT YOUR AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST blessings...
Silver1wun
Level 7
July 6, 2019
1
are you sure nancy is his wife? some people do include their pets in their messages!
g
genessa
Level 8
July 6, 2019
2
Mike has no pets.
@LiterateHiker how can you go out with a guy who has no pets?
g
@LiterateHiker then forget him!
I have no pets. It is bad enough watering flower pots in the summer.
@LiterateHiker it is a personal choice -- but i can't imagine it!
g
Did he divorce her or the other way around? If he got dumped he may have been in morning for a year and then selective memory took over. Possible not probable good luck....
scout123456
Level 5
July 13, 2019
1
Mike had three divorces. His last wife, Kristi, is 17 years younger than him.
I asked what happened to him and Kristi, because there are pictures of her in his 2003 book, 'Trekking Washington.' "You look very compatible," I said.
"We were very compatible for 10 years," Mike said. "One day, Kristi had a sour look on her face. I asked what was wrong. 'I don't want to be married,' she said. I didn't know she was unhappy! We filed for divorce two weeks later."
"Kristi became a lesbian," Mike continued. "Five years later, she married a woman in Massachusetts."
hippydog
Level 8
July 6, 2019
1
if our ancestors had no fear of predators, none of us would be here.
we still have predators to fear but now they wear suits.
@callmedubious and if our ancestors didnt rise above that fear, we wouldnt be who we are today either.
@hippydog ,
no we wouldn't..b/c we wouldn't be here.
I'm having difficulty keeping the "Tales of the Literate Hiker" current. I'm thinking you may need a "Vetting Agent" to screen these potential partners for you. No, I'm NOT volunteering.
bigpawbullets
Level 9
July 6, 2019
1
You have my sympathy. Did you ever see the movie Cat Ballou? You remind me of the scene: "Red Eyes."
@LiterateHiker
Very appropriate.
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