Silence isn't necessary a problem. Some people like to concentrate on the sensations they're receiving when having sex.

The time to talk about preferences is before the act. If they're into sexy talk, then talk. If they aren't into it, leave them alone or find another partner.

Do you talk during movies too? Asking for a friend.

It may have absolutely NOTHING to do with you... Did he grow up in a home with thin walls, where every word/breath could be heard by others? He may have trained himself to be super-quiet rather than deal with the questions or comments of others. Enough years of that and making noise/sounds/talking would be "trained" out of him.
(the same if he was brought up in a home where there was any kind of abuse for making too much noise)

Take the nipple out of his mouth.

sexy talk is a fine art, it is a seduction and not many men or women understand this skill. we are not born with it. I think if it turns us on we teach ourselves, but for him he is perfectly satisfied. If i were your man and i read your letter (aside from the great thing that you are asking what you want) i would feel inadequate and pressured. In my last serious relationship to the man i thought I was going to marry, after 3 years in the relationship he started to talk to me about what he wanted in bed. Before that whenever i asked him he would clam up. Now he is finally asking for what he wants. Great, but... so what he wanted was for me to orgasm during intercourse. Well I cant, or I never have and I told him this very early on so he wouldnt think it was something he did wrong. I explained in extreme detail how everything feels and what part feels good and how im very satisfied with all of it. He was still unsatisfied and i think that was the beginning of the end for him. Thats what he wanted and I couldnt do it it. I just can't do it on demand. Maybe someday i can do it with someone who brings that out in me, but i certainly can't just force it to happen. I didnt like feeling the pressure. I didnt feel inadequate but instead i felt like he wasnt giving ME what i wanted, which was the space to travel that road. Now everytime we would have sex i would feel pressured. Maybe your man doesnt worry too much and will definitely give it a try and you both can find new heights, but this is my opinion. Yes ask for what you want, but never ever call it a "problem". If you want to seduce, you have to inspire, not demand.

At least he sounds willing to give it a try. Be patient with him.

I think you are scaring him off, be careful or you will be boy-friend-less.

Once had a beautiful girlfriend made no noise during sex. Her former husband was an under taker for 25 years.

I like to know the man is enjoying himself. I PREFER a little talk like, "that feels good" " goddamn" "fuck."

However, my best lover was pretty quiet. He did gasp the first time he saw my boobs. He did tell me that in order for him to cum from a blow job I would have to use my hand also.

However... in the middle of everything... pretty quiet.

I like quiet. After you have sex with someone multiple times it just sounds contrived. I don't want to have to think of things to say, I want my brain to enjoy what is happening. I don't like music going on either. As a musician my brain will wander to the music. I don't care for phone sex either. It is fun once or twice, but after that you have to think of new stuff to say, and that creates pressure and takes away from relaxing and enjoying what is going on.

Reminds me of an Al Pacino/Michelle Pfeiffer movie, "Frankie and Johnny".
He was quiet during sex and his partner asked "why?"
He explained that when he was in prison, it was wiser to be silent during
masturbation.

Once you change him into what you like I hope you're both still happy with him.

He might not be telling you what he likes/wants because hes told others what he likes/wants before and gotten negative reactions from it. That tends to shut us up and be much more cautious to the question What do you like?, especially when around someone who likes things "just so".

Don't ask him what he likes. Ask him if there's anything hed like to try that he's never done before or only been able to do infrequently, and make sure you don't laugh or appear shocked at what he says. Also make sure you try and do it - he's trying to do what you like that he normally doesn't, after all.

If a woman sent me that article after we'd had sex twice I'd at that point consider the relationship temporary at best. Hopefully that's just me and not him, though.

i just laughed when picturing myself trying to be very vocal while eating pussy, mumble mumble mumble.

Often I think people who first started having sex while still living in their families home learn to be quiet so they don't get caught. Especially homes with thin walls or lots of family members. Once a habit is learned it can be hard to unlearn,

That said on average it seems that men tend to be quiet, where as women vary more

I'm not usually one for talking during sex. It is one of the times in life that talking seems superfluous. I want to relax and enjoy the experience, not play at improv and come up with dialog and I'm completely ok with him being the same. Words, sparingly.

I stay pretty silent unless something is going really wrong or really right. Talking requires a part of my brain that is best left alone during sex. It's better for everyone involved.

Maybe it does all feel good and he doesn’t have a the experience or imagination to suggest more. You might try reading erotica or watching porn and talking about what seems interesting, or not.

He's vocalizing, though not verbalizing, and that's one way he's communicating in the moment what he likes and that he's enjoying himself with you. Unlike the situation in the advice column, where the man was perfectly silent, physically still, and inattentive and unaffectionate during sex, your guy is just not expressing in words that he wants something in particular.

When asked, he said he liked everything you were doing. Take "yes" for an answer. Listen to his moans if you want to know what in particular is most arousing to him. Not everyone can talk effectively while engaging in sex; some people are feeling the moment intensely and vocabulary is just not there. Maybe ask yes-or-no questions instead of open-ended inquiries, like "does this feel good?" and "do you want me to go faster?" to gauge his response.

I understand why he felt inadequate when you sent the advice column to him, because that situation is so much more dire, where the sexual act isn't just lacking verbally but rather all response and affection is absent. If I'd received that in response to my sexual performance, I too would have felt like I was inadequate and being called out for being entirely unresponsive, inattentive, and unaffectionate when it wasn't actually the case.

He says he'll try to be more verbal and that he likes that sexy talk turns you on, and I'd believe him — though he may not be especially adept at it, but he's willing to make the effort. You said, "We'll see," at the end of your post, which doesn't really sound like mere effort will be enough to satisfy you. If his attempts fall flat and he still doesn't measure up to your expectations, I think the kindest thing you can do is break it off. You shouldn't have to settle if this is something you need, but at the same time he shouldn't continually feel judged for an inability to articulate himself beyond moans and some short answers during sex. If I were him, I'd feel some trepidation about my next sexual encounter.

you need to have sex a bunch of times, thats the best way to figure out what he likes

I expect people to be very different in this regard. Some people come from very reserved or repressed backgrounds, so both by nature and nurture may not be very verbal in this context. Communicating about it is helpful, but to be honest I don't think role playing should be a goal in the context of sex, but rather, allowing each other to really be themselves.

This is particularly true of men, who have generally been taught that their feelings are both unimportant and scary things, and who feel particularly vulnerable during and around sex.

I have to say that when I have loosened up a bit in this area my partners have not been very receptive, so consider the possibility that you're more uninhibited and desirous of this sort of talk than many men have experience with -- and their operant conditioning via other women may not be to your liking. Be patient and take it slow; if he's capable of accommodating you he'll come around. At least when it comes to sex, there's lots of motivation to take risks when given explicit permission to do so.

Just as some men are quiet some partners are pushy or picky, they only want to do it their way. As he learns your needs he may open up, you don't know what his previous partners were like or how many really. Experience is a great teacher.

Have you checked for a pulse?

I think I was silent during sex because I was having a wonderful time, and didn't want my focus interrupted......pure selfishness, I know.....

I read that women are turned on by a deep male voice and that men are turned on by a high female voice so at least some moaning and growning by both should be used during sex.

If he’s anything like me, he may take a while to warm up to someone new. I’m a dirty girl, but for only ONE man, and a man I’m very connected to and in tune with. Until we get to that level of comfort, he’s not going to be getting sexy talk or porn sex from me.

Your partner may need time to build a connection. Unfortunately, showing him that article is likely to backfire and push him further away rather than draw him in.

At the risk of sounding blunt, this post feels you could be a self-absorbed lover, focusing not even on your needs, but on your wants. Try to go easy on the poor man so early in your relationship ... you don’t want to shatter his confidence in the bedroom.