I love this passage from the conclusion of "Three Junes" by Julia Glass, one of my favorite books:
"Splinters in the heart, invisibly and erratically painful: this is how Fern has thought of her accumulating sorrows. Impossible to expel or withdraw; if you're lucky, they slip out on their own. But perhaps they are more like the seeds inside a brightly patterned gourd, beyond germination but essential to the wholeness of the gourd itself. Without breaking its durable, ossified skin, you cannot remove them; sometimes they will clatter about and make themselves known. It's just the nature of things."
To me, painful experiences are like strengthening steel with fire. An opportunity to learn and grow.
I love the optimism of this passage. Your thoughts?
I always liked the saying "everyone's got a bag of shit they carry with them. Its warm and its theirs.". Maybe I can find the book that it came from.
My first thought is you broke up with your BF. Sorry if I'm right.
@1of5
I'm thinking about breaking up with Dave.
@LiterateHiker do what you think is right, but if you're thinking about it that means there's reasons both for and against staying together, and if the reasons to break up aren't going to go away then he should.
Every painful experience should make you either stronger or wiser.
I can agree to the extent that you say, but then again, do not all of life's experience give one the opportunity to learn and grow?
Absolutely. When I feel hurt, I listen for the kernel of truth, try to learn from it, and let the bad feelings go. Grudge-holding just hurts the person holding the grudge.
@LiterateHiker yeah, I tried to hold one of those once I think it bit me. Life is too short for those things.