Why do men try to prove I'm wrong? This is no way to approach a lady.
I ended my profile with a pop quiz to prompt men to respond:
One of these is not correct-
1. As a teenager I skated alone at midnight on thin ice.
2. To get into graduate school, I took the Graduate Record Exam.
3. I stood in a rainbow.
Can you guess which one?
In their first message, some men lecture me on refracted light and insist you can't stand in a rainbow. Why this impulse to prove I'm wrong? It's off-putting and tiresome. The implication is that I'm just a silly girl who needs to be set straight.
Today I got another argumentative message, this time from a 30 year-old guy. After I told him my experience, he blasted me with a scientific screed. I blocked him.
I met two other hikers who stood in a rainbow high in the mountains during a rainstorm. People don’t believe them either.
Intelligent, kind men are good-natured about guessing the wrong answer. "Wow! That's amazing!" they reply after I describe standing in a rainbow.
I Stood in a Rainbow
At age 23, I backpacked on Mt. Shuksan in northwest Washington. That evening, we camped above the tree line. We saw the sunset behind Vancouver Island, British Columbia.
The next day, a massive storm blew in. Hail piled up like snowdrifts, washing small ptarmigan birds downhill. "PEEP! Peep…peep…pe…” Lightning struck around us. “Here, you hold my ice axe.” Pouring rain soaked us to the skin. The sun shone in a nearby valley.
And we stood in a rainbow. We saw the rainbow colors on each other’s faces. I stuck out my arm and marveled at the colors on my arm. It only lasted for a minute or two. We were not high. My hiking partner was a medical doctor.
Afterward, the sun steamed our backs as we slogged our way to the car.
9
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It's a testicle thing, like not asking for directions, saying sorry or putting the woman first when making love. Those of us men who can move past these things are rare beasts and quite likely a bit old and fat like me. The fat bit is changing, but the old bit is growing worse....
Sofabeast
Level 7
Nov 2, 2019
1
Why do you even bother with men, since you seem to slam them repeatedly?
bingst
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
3
Why so angry? Not all men are rude and disrespectful. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.
I sometimes write about bad dating experiences to get feedback from other people. With online dating, it helps to a sense of humor.
@LiterateHiker not if ur a frog...
@LiterateHiker I'm glad there women like you who are willing to put up with men and all our obvious flaws. Otherwise we'd be lost!
@LiterateHiker You may not know it but that's not bingst angry.
I have to concur. This seems like a deliberate trap. (Which is fine if that's your intent).
I do understand testing people and checking them out. "Kicking the tires" perhaps.
But not deliberately setting them up for failure.
The bias here would be:
-
showing concern for your Mental Health (who skates alone at midnight on thin ice?).
But you were a teen and perhaps not thinking about that. (Teens are invulnerable). -
A lot of folks take the GRE for Grad school but not all (are they paying attention did you even attend grad school?).
-
Rainbows - if they have a science bent - they're going to argue the point with you.
You can stand in a Man-made rainbow (Think prisms) but not a naturally/ occurring one - at least not from your own viewpoint.
I would think you'd welcome some discourse on the topic. ie Did a friend snap a pic of you in a rainbow? Is that how you know you were in one?
Yes, I got into graduate school. I have a Master degree from Univ. of Washington.
@LiterateHiker Yes I know that - I actually read profiles.
I'm not planning to date you though so I don't need to argue rainbows with you. Do you see why someone might though. Just in being thorough?
I would think posting questions to your profile would be to open a dialogue - not to "catch people out". But that's me. I like talking to people. Even if they turn out to have opposite philosophies to my own.
It's usually pretty easy to determine as the conversation goes along.
I don't think she slams men. I think she has very high standards.
How gorgeous 
as children my cousin and I used to play in a paddling pool and the hose used to spray up into it in the sunlight, we danced in the little rainbows caused by the waterfall. Thanks for helping me remember.
P.s. it’s a typical idiot trap, think yourself lucky that it weeds out those not open to believing you, you don’t want that in a partner.
girlwithsmiles
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
2
Thank you for your supportive and delightful reply. I appreciate you.
It's because we're idiots trying to impress.
I thought we've been over this whole "yes, men really are that fucking stupid" thing before.
1of5
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
3
Only some are idiots. Some learn and grow.
Unfortunately the idiots are more vocal
1of5:
@Marcie1974 counts up to, what, 3, 4 hundred now? 
I'll add one more thought. In defense of those poor saps you so throughly rejected, it is a bit of a trick question....
Dhiltong
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
1
It's called a "trigger question" in marketing. "Can you guess which one?"
It triggers action. I won three national award for creative marketing and program development.
Your profile and photos are an advertisement to attract the type of person you want to date.
Regardless of whether you think it’s a trick question, there’s no reason to get argumentative.....on a dating site!
You are the only man to call it a "trick question."
"Love your profile!" "Great profile!" is universal feedback I get from men.
@LiterateHiker Yup, internet dating has really put 'marketing' in mate shopping.......
I wrote "some men," not "all men."
Intelligent, kind men are good-natured about guessing the wrong answer. "Wow! That's amazing!" they reply after I describe standing in a rainbow.
The majority of men give positive feedback on my profile and photos.
It puzzles me why some men try to disprove my experience.
I have to be honest, I would read the first one and the last one to be metaphorical, or at least could be interpreted that way, and you can tell that the second is the false one because it lies outside your typical writing style. Of course, I only know that because I frequently read your posts and comments, and the sample size in a dating profile is typically to small and restrained to have all the necessary information.
Happy_Killbot
Level 7
Nov 1, 2019
1
@Happy_Kilbot
Actually, I didn’t take the Graduate Record Exam. Knew I’d tank in math. Instead, I had a fun conversation/interview with the dean, and got into University of Washington graduate school anyway.
At age 15, I sneaked outside at midnight and skated alone on thin ice. It had rained the night before, turning the ice to glass.
Skating in the glittering path of the full moon, I felt exhilarated by speed, danger and exquisite beauty. “Craack!” the ice shrieked beneath my feet. Long cracks fanned across the ice. Nobody knew where I was. “I’m lightweight,” I thought and skated faster.
It occurred to me that if I fell in, my dead body would wash up in the Spring, maybe never. Quickly I skated to the shore and made my way around the lake to home. Never told a soul until age 35. “Don’t tell me that NOW!” my mother gasped, horrified.
If we spent time together I might disagree with you from time to time, but I am no longer attached to proving others wrong as I was a bit when I was younger. Unfortunately, mansplaining is still a thing for many guys!
Mostly_Harmless
Level 6
Nov 1, 2019
2
Me giving a climbing lesson to a female friend: You probably already know this but it's really important so I'm gonna mansplain it anyway. (-:
Picking up a flat (144 pieces) of concrete blocks for a retaining wall this morning, I was "mansplained" why he couldn't put the pallet over my axle, where I wanted it, and knew it should be since weight always goes over axles. Even though the FIRST pallet (this was #2) went there just fine with the forklift driver lifting the edge and pushing it into the truck bed further. I knew he was doing what I think the OP implied, which is to feel good about himself over someone he considered a lesser human. I don't know may men who are comfortable with smarter women. Not many at all.....
@Ellen-SoCal I have a lot of female friends who are smarter and stronger than I am so I guess I had better get used to it!
You are correct you were standing in a rainbow. Whenever there are high concentrations of water vapor in the atmosphere and sunlight at the correct angle you can get that visible prism effect. Large waterfalls are a good example were you can get that effect from sunlight hitting the mist at the right angle. The only way to say you were actually standing in a 'rainbow' would be to have an observer at a distance confirm that. And even that could be tricky because the perceived position of a rainbow can be somewhat dependent on the position observer.
Dhiltong
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
2
You’re basically doing the thing she was venting about
@Marcie1974 Yes, that's how men are. If we were perfect then what would you have to complain about, except that we were perfect!!
Calculate the least probable & go with that option.
Atheist3
Level 7
Nov 1, 2019
1
I don’t think that’s the point of @literathikers post. She’s not asking you to guess....she even tells the answer. She’s asking why men try to prove her wrong...on a dating site no less.
@Marcie1974 Are the men trying to prove her wrong or just her perspective?
#2, I've read your profile and witnessed the same effect. But I am curious what powers your moron magnet. 
oldFloyd
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
3
I don’t think that’s the point of @literathikers post. She’s not asking you to guess....she even tells the answer. She’s asking why men try to prove her wrong...on a dating site no less.
@Marcie1974 Oh I understood the post, and my response was more person to person, I've also read other posts by literatehiker and it appears she is like a standard porch light, attracts a lot of moths , some men just feel the need to be condescending and in control it seems. I hope that explains my response.
Because in a patriarchal culture, boys learn from an early age that their opinions have more weight than any girl's. And that includes their mothers at puberty. Because... testicles. "Grow a pair" is the most ridiculous line to encourage a male.What's the weakest part of any man?
We live in such ironic times.
Ellen-SoCal
Level 5
Nov 1, 2019
2
So, which one is incorrect? 
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
1
Actually, I didn’t take the Graduate Record Exam. Knew I’d tank in math. Instead, I had a fun conversation/interview with the dean, and got into University of Washington graduate school anyway.
At age 15, I sneaked outside at midnight and skated alone on thin ice. It had rained the night before, turning the ice to glass.
Skating in the glittering path of the full moon, I felt exhilarated by speed, danger and exquisite beauty. “Craack!” the ice shrieked beneath my feet. Long cracks fanned across the ice. Nobody knew where I was. “I’m lightweight,” I thought and skated faster.
It occurred to me that if I fell in, my dead body would wash up in the Spring, maybe never. Quickly I skated to the shore and made my way around the lake to home. Never told a soul until age 35. “Don’t tell me that NOW!” my mother gasped, horrified.
@LiterateHiker What a brave lass you are!
Don't understand why anyone would do that it's not rational
bobwjr
Level 10
Nov 1, 2019
2
Right? Great first impression on a dating site....argue with the person!!
@Marcie1974 yup idiotic
@bobwjr nothing endears me to someone like having them explain why I’m wrong 
@Marcie1974 same here unless I was mistaken about something or they are wrong about me . Like thinking I am religious
The men that do that to you do it because they are threatened by your confidence.
The men who do that to women, in general, do it because they think they're better and have a right to challenge every fucking thing we say or do, because well,
they are men.
And before anyone tries to come back at me to say "not all men", DON'T.
We all know that "not all men" do that.
I'm speaking specifically of the ones that do.
KKGator
Level 9
Nov 1, 2019
3
Oh you silly woman. We absolutely need men to explain things to us. Even if they were our own experiences...we can never fully understand them until they’ve been properly mansplained.
Marcie1974
Level 8
Nov 1, 2019
8
Enjoy being online again!
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