I’ve heard that story so many times. Plus: ‘I can’t get sex from my wife.’ I respond that I’m not interested in married, separated, or attached men.
‘But I have neeeeeeds’(I always hear it that way, as a long whine, lol. NEEEEEEEEEDS).
Well, sir, your neeeeeeds are not MY problem.
It can get very ugly after that, so block buttons are my friend.

Wow, that's some ego there! You mean you weren't bowled over by what an opportunity it is to date him?

It's odd that he's sending such mixed messages. Even if he was only on the site for hook-ups, your profile would not have that as an option for you. It sounds like he wants you to magically make him fall in love with you enough that it will be easier for him to end the relationship he's in, so you called it: he needs to take responsibility.

Your thoughts?

That your spending to much time on dating sites.

Should have asked him for her number so you could call her and check his story out - if he wants you to be part of a triangle you deserve to meet both of them.

This was his first contact with you -- his phone number and his life story?

Maybe it's me but I just don't get that approach. I'd have to take some time to get to know someone. Even the one-nighters I've had were with women who I'd gotten to know first.

Half the fun is in the flirtation. Immediately propositioning a complete stranger online comes across as desperate and uninspired to me. It's bewildering why so many people try it.

I get wanting sex but that approach is lazy and impatient.

I just got out of a relationship with someone from a dating site who was in the same position. When we first started getting together, he told me there was a "90% chance" he would never go back with her, because she was abusive. When he did eventually go back with her, I told him he never should have been on that dating site, involving me in his problems. He blamed me for having feelings for him, and told me I should have known. What a jerk! There are so many like that. I met a man earlier who said he was separated, but he wasn't. When he eventually did leave his wife, he wanted to date me, but I am NOT interested in a cheater. WTF is wrong with people! Why can't they just leave other people out of their problems until their heads are on straight? They always accuse their dating partners of having "drama", when it is they who are creating it. I am so easy to get along with, but can do without this kind of thing. All I want is a nice relationship with someone who is free. End of rant.

It’s so true of men today. Many even put MGTOW (men going their own way) to only see women for sex not dating. They apparently feel comfortable with their lives and not needing anyone to “grow old with”. It’s a sad state for women who want just one guy in their lives...

Please don't use that man to represent all men. Many of us can't even find one relationship.

Far too many men (and I suspect women as well) look for another relationship to give them the courage to break up with an existing one. If the present one is bad be done with it. Finding another beforehand will only lead to more of what you left.

When I was breaking up with a former partner (I had even left the house) I met another in my ZPG group. She was interested and even asked me out. I told her that would be great but I had to finish the one I was still in and she accepted this. Later, when the relationship was finally over (and I was back in my house) I asked her out and she said she had gotten into another relationship. She had a bad feeling about it, though but would I wait. Months later hers was over and we did become friends (wb). Finally, a nice stable relationship with a smart, emotionally stable person. It didn't last as she wanted a commitment (more like a move in together type) and I wasn't ready.

Carrying way too much baggage. Unhappy in current situation but afraid of change. Run. Run fast

A good friend (Estonian) says in her accent.

"Them mens.
Always thinking with their Johnny"

That's why we need a woman for president: Warren 2020.

Most men, not all.

It's the monkey principle, when swinging through the trees you don't let go of the branch until you have a good grip on the next one. Most do it or have at some point......

Yes men think with the small head. Some women are catching up also and doing the same thing. It's wrong either way. To me it's showing a lack of respect for the partner in the relationship. I treat people the way that I like to be treated. If I don't want it done to me I will not do it to you.

Your friend was mostly correct. The big head sometimes comes into play when the little head is lonely.

Yes men do it a lot. Dating sites are good but they also help break up a lot of good relationships with men going astray. Not the site but does fuel men’s imaginations

I seriously have no comment... Seriously..

Why would he do that,?

Some people are so afraid of being alone that they want to make sure they have someone lined up and ready to move on to before they can let go of the previous partner. Most of the time they're not even aware they're doing this, or if they are, that there's anything wrong with it.

While I give him credit for honesty , I agree with you ... clean up one mess before you attempt to possibly begin another !

My heart goes out to the women being used by these men. Nobody deserves that kind of abuse.

Wow

He needs to remove himself until if and when that relationship is completely over and he has had time to address any issues related to it. I am glad that I am off these sites. They were a desert in all ways.

i wouldn’t get involved with a married man myself because i think i’m too insecure for that, but as long as everyone involved is aware and consenting, there’s nothing wrong with it. of course, if they’re not telling their partners, it’s cheating, but i think people often lump poly folks in with cheaters.

I agree with you.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.