I met my lady on POF , what was funny was ,that I was in her hometown visiting my kids and she was in my hometown visiting hers when she messaged me !! Lol needless to say we were 4 hrs apart and for a little under two years we commuted to see each other . Now I’m currently residing in her hometown and we’ve been together going on three years this March ! We definitely had good chemistry, are communication was the key however, we like being with each other , but we like our individual space as well .

Stop this madness going to see them. If they are that keen they should come to see YOU. You are worth it.

Depending on the person/chemistry and location I would pretty much go anywhere. But there would have to be some darn good chemistry

So, I assume there's not much chance of you driving to Aberdeenshire Scotland then?

I don’t have a car and often local men won’t even consider dating me. I guess the old “pick your date up” situation is moot these days and folks drive two cars on dates????

The Phoenix metro area is 100 by 75 miles conservatively. I have had men decide 40 miles was too far. For me its the adventure not the distance. What if my true love was 1 mile over my stated distance?

Four miles. That's it.

0 miles.

He asked you answered, though i hope you didnt send him the essay on the "failed museum trip of '17". A simple "thanks but no thanks" would work.

I see no issue with traveling if its a place you want to go to. Including the people and things in that place. For me, a "lunch every now and then" type relationship, combined with an actual interest in going to whatever location, would be worth a several hour drive, every so often. But i think youre not looking for that relationship. Maybe clarify that in your online profile, if youre getting asked about it by other users of the dating service. I think western car centric culture has distorted peoples views of "how far away" something is, vs how long ii takes to get there. Ive read the average Seattle area commute time is over an hour. I can't imagine just accepting that as part of my daily life.

If I'm interested enough to meet a woman living a long distance away, which must be preceded by substantive communications, I make the offer both to visit her and to book a hotel. I've done this a few times over the years. As well, in 2015, a woman from Nanaimo, British Columbia, chose to fly here for a week, after months of texts and phone calls. She stayed in a hotel I'd booked for her stay. When I think of the man in Seattle asking you to come see him, I picture someone pretty lazy and entitled, probably makes love the same way

As for the rest of us , that answer is listed in our bio stats .

I have driven about 2 hours to meet a woman at a halfway point. I've done that with 2 different women. I've considered a longer distance but no woman has supported that idea yet.

The longer I've been alone, and it's been a long time, the less important distance seems.

Today Bill replied:

hi kathleen - enjoyed reading your text ...and here’s why. i routinely send emails to the seattle mayor and city council basically saying the same thing except i add in the increased crime and the homeless problem. i lived on bainbridge island for over 25 years, a couple traffic lights and no transportation issues, great place for raising kids - then moved into downtown seattle 3 years ago. the glass half full is that i knew what i was getting myself into...i never drive my car here - walk everywhere, SAM, Benaroya Hall, art galleries and all the restaurants are within blocks of where i live - usually walk about 5 miles per day...bike ride on bike routes for miles from downtown...escape to the cascades all the time, formed my own defined volunteer group of friends and work on the mountains to sound greenway trails...glass half empty: all my friends who live outside of downtown seattle will never drive down for the day or evening...because of what you so eloquently pointed out

must admit tho - getting tired of the high density issues...may move out of seattle next summer...maybe to sun valley or....

i have tentative plans to go over to chelan and stay high up on chelan butte at a cabin that overlooks the lake this december...i’ll touch base if i’m going over and see if we can rendezvous in sunny wenatchee

This might be an over-simplification (probably is): the distance you are willing to drive to meet a date is directly proportional to the level of desperation. So, the only honest answer is, depends.

No way would I drive that journey for an initial meeting..... even if I was looking for someone.
If after some Skype conversations you both wanted to pursue an attempt, the least he could do would be to suggest somewhere halfway (neutral ground).

I'm here for community so my opinion doesn't really count, but I discovered nearly fifty years ago that you can live where other people go to vacation. Have never regretted this choice. Wenatchee sounds like one of those places. To heck with traffic, parking and city life. Life is good when you can walk or ride your bicycle to a mountain trail.

He could have at least offered to meet you halfway.

Hi Kathleen.
I can see that you are a woman that men get stupid for.
Can you respect such a man? Date him?

Personally, I see it as a point of desperation for
someone to travel that far to meet someone.

I don't have this issue. I live in Bend, Oregon.
Everyone already has a reason to come here.

I will meet you when you get here...

For the love of my life, wherever I have to. After some experience, for the first time, I will meet her half way. I believe in both having some skin in the game to show we are both serious. Drove a little over 100 miles last Friday, which was half way. She's a doll and we hit it off with a lot of laughing and ended up back at her place..she is to be here tomorrow for a day or two. Sad thing was when we got to her place and there was a couple of bibles out on tables.

NYC tolls would pay for champagne at home

Maybe up to two hours - depending on the route that's needed to get there. Much more inclined to do it on open country roads.
For first meets, somewhere in the middle seems fair. But then what ?

Realistically, if I met someone that I clicked with, who was that far , I still am reluctant, as I wouldn't wish to commit to so much driving on a regular basis - even if it was alternated with the person. And with so many folks having firm roots where they live (jobs, family, homes etc), it would be part of the relationship. That sort of distance absolutely kills any spontaneity, and means lots of time driving to be inevitable.

I prefer an hour, or less, if at all possible. Distance is a real thing !

My personal limit on travel was if I can't get there in 4 hours it's to far - but I don't limit it to driving. So a 4 hour plane trip wasn't out of the question, which was a good thing because my partner lived 3 1/2 hours away by plane.

I worked in downtown Seattle for over 25 years - 10 of them right across the street from SAM - and like everything you learn the best way to navigate it. About the worse thing you can use to get around downtown is a car, btw.

Lake Stevens is nice but can be horrible to get out of on a bad traffic day. I can understand why your daughter wouldn't want to subject herself to more traffic. The Tulalip tribe's cultural center west of Marysville has some nice native American art and is much closer to lake Stevens.

I flew to Las Vegas 2 years ago to meet an Agnostic member. He wanted me to move out there with him but we were just friends. I met Our_existance who drove 2 1/2 hours to me in NH. As everyone knows I relocated to Nassau, NY. It did not work out and I'm single and mingling again. Meeting people in Meetup.com groups has kept me busy and brought me new friends near Clifton Park, NY. I would drive to meet someone halfway now. I'd still fly but they would need to go halves on my fare. It's only fair! Agree/Disagree?

I drove 4 hours one way to see a friend and she drove here on occasion. Lasted almost a year.

There are other destinations in W. Washington besides Seattle. Many places, north and south of Seattle, have shuttles with parking (even from our ferry terminal in Anacortes). If I would want to meet someone on the other side of the Cascade Curtain and got to know her beforehand I would gladly make the trip (depending on pass conditions). A close friend and his wife have family in Moses Lake and they make the trip a lot. A road trip now and then is fun for me.