My mom never asked me to go to church with her but I would have gone on occasion, had she done so, just to spend more time with her.

Now that she's gone, I'd long for hours of church babble, just to sit next to her.

Well if lunch was provided after the service I would consider of going. But while the sermon was going on I would be thinking of what to have for dinner, how many loads of washing I needed to do, what dress to wear tomorrow, you know stuff like that.

You might try saying, "no thank you but let's go have breakfast and enjoy some one-on-one time together."

My dad is dead. He died along time ago. He was incredibly brilliant, but also a devout Chatholic.

More than once I heard him put down atheists. His opinion of them was poor and it was not ambiguous. I kept my mouth shut. The rationale was this, it would hurt and worry him if he knew I was an atheist.

Looking back, I am glad I didn't take a stand for my beliefs with him. I loved him and still do. It sucked playing along with the religious charade, but in the end it was the lesser cost. Nothing positive would have been gained by standing against his beliefs.

Keep in mind, you may carry your parents in your heart until the day you drop, but they won't be with you forever.

Those question about how to tell him you aren't a Christian anymore are hard to answer for anyone that's not you. My mother raised me thinking anyone who wasn't a Christian and didn't believe in god was evil. When I realized I didn't believe anymore it was scary for a long time because of the way I was indoctrinated. I've been an atheist for years, but I still haven't told my 82 year old mom just because I don't see the point. I don't pretend to be religious around her and I know she worries about my "soul" but I try to be honest but kind. As far as declining his church invitation, just tell him you don't feel like going.

My rule of thumb is to keep it as simple as I can while still getting my point across. For me, I think I'd just say, "no, thank you." I probably wouldn't go into much detail unless prompted further. In that case, I'd say something like, "I don't feel the same connection that I used to and I feel out of place and uncomfortable in church now." Unless he insists on discussing it further, I'd just leave it at that. Good luck.

Without knowing your dad, any advice i give would be what I would do with my family. Tell him as much as you think he can comfortably digest. Tell him you are uncomfortable in church and you don't want to discuss why right now. I told my mother once when I was 16 or 17, I never brought it up again even as we planned her funeral 30 years later. Some things your parents will never accept, so don't push it if they don't.

I've been sharing this every Sunday on my FB page. I have lots of xtain pals. Sometimes I'm not sure why....lol...
Seriously, I was a closet athiest for many years.....
Screw that.

Someone on "The Atheist Experience" years ago suggested the phrase, "It's just not my thing." I always keep that one in the back of my mind in case I need it, but so far I haven't. I like that phrase because it doesn't "out" you, per se, as an atheist, it's gentle, and it's difficult for someone to counter without seeming overly aggressive.

It all depends on your relationship with your dad, also how old is he, because if you come out as a non believer it could sever your relationship with him or perhaps he might actually get physically ill. Since we don't know those personal things, I would not risk it. Thus, if you're invited to Church, decline but saying that you have things yo do and cannot attend

Honesty and Time worked for me. He was initially upset but I didn't waver in my lack of belief or my love of my father. It was eventually accepted.

"No, thank you. I don't believe in any of that anymore."
Delivered as gently as you need.

Good luck.

To use your own words....respectfully decline by saying “No thank you, I no longer believe in God, so it would be pointless if I went to church“. If your father respects you, he should understand, even if he doesn’t agree.

Explain it as you would a child: gently, with out raising your voice, and simply.

Say "I don't go to Church, dad. I'm no longer a Christian. In fact, I believe the bible are parables not history and I also believe that there is no god."

Simple, clear, calm. Always play the peaceful, calm soother.

My answer usually is, "I have my own religious beliefs. Thank you."

Due to health reasons, my parents haven't gone to church in years; but, back when it was an issue, I let it be known that I was against organized religion and that I didn't need to go to church to be a good person.

I know that they worry about my eternal soul, even my mother with dementia has her moments of worry; but, due to their age and their beliefs, I have never told them I am an atheist. My daughters know I question the existence of a god, but they don't know the depth of my non-belief. After my parents pass on, I will come completely clean with my daughters.

I do not know you or what kind of relationship you have with our dad. So I can only speak for myself as a father of a lovely daughter. The one thing that I and lots of dads cherish amongst all others is honesty. Whatever you do or think? We want you to be able to tell us. We may not approve, we may certainly disagree but we want to be there for you no matter what and we can't do that unless you tell us.
This might be the time to bite the bullet and tell him of your non-beliefs. If not now, then when? The alternative would be you making up excuses either to not go to church or worst still not seeing him at all / seldom. You are a grown woman of 30 and if things go well you will have decades of time left with your dad. After the dust settles on this you can go forward as adults. Remind him that he helped make you who you are. I am sure that upon reflection, however disappointed he may be with your choice? He will be glad that you could tell him about it.
If you do "come out"? Respect his beliefs, laugh at his dad-jokes and let him pick the alternative trips out (that includes letting him pick the movie).
Happy holidays.

My best "go to" answer is to say, "Sorry, but I just don't believe in it."

Say you have to gracefully decline because you are not a Christian anymore!

well, i would start with "no, thank you" and a smile. you can add to it if he asks questions.

g

Just be honest is usually the best way. I simply said I am not religious and it does not serve anyone well for me to go. Those places are for true believers.

If you're unsure how to decline an invitation to church it, doesn't sound like either of you are ready for a conversation about your faith, or lack thereof. A polite "no thank you" typically goes a long way, but with a family member you can expect more probing. You might say something like "I don't get anything out of it." or "It's not satisfying" ... These are things I know I felt during my process of separating from religion. In a way, I see your situation as a "coming out" It's never easy, it never goes as we expect, but I would recommend that you start small. Your dad may never get comfortable with the fact that you don't go to church, but I would leave it at that for awhile, at least until his expectation of your attendance has passed. Best of luck to you.

If he’s very religious it might be best if you just attended church with him occasionally and didn’t mention that you are an atheist just for the sake of peace in the family. You can always take a nap during the sermon. I can guarantee you won’t go to hell for it.

It's tough but important, this is one of the deepest of beliefs. I encourage you to talk about it with him to help him understand why your choice is important.

If you love your dad, I would suggest that you ask if it is ok to accompany him only once in a while ,special occasions etc . It depends on how religious he is .I told my father who believes in god about my non belief in a gradual process but he was not a church goer and accepted it with no problem .On the other hand I never would have dreamed of telling my very religious grandmother( who I loved dearly ) who was a devout catholic and church goer She would have been devastated .