Agnostic.com

60 5

Are Some Men Reluctant to Talk on the Phone?

Why do men want to text?

sassygirl3869 9 Mar 26
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

60 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

I haven't answered the phone since the late 1990's.

OMG

10

Men of a certain age remember the horror of phoning someone and not knowing if it will be the person you phoned answering or her parents !!!! It leaves a scar !!!!

LMAO!

8

I am willing to chat to anyone on the phone, so long as the conversation is pleasant.

And meaningful.

7

I hate talking on the phone...always have...I only use the phone for business and 'let's meet here' type of conversation. I think this changes for long term relationships, though...maybe because the voice doesn't just become a disembodied spectre haunting my ear....hehe...I don't text, either...I am the worst....haha...I like emails because I can type with all my fingers, typing and thinking engages enough of my mind to maintain my interest (not in the person, but in writing the message)...the only value I can see for once sentence conversation is: you're on fire....buy this at the store...we still on for tonight...you are still on fire....etc.

@Crimson67 I was a 'recruiter helper' for 3 months before I went to boot...conned dozens of suckers...I mean got many fine people to join up....I swear, the staff sergeant I was working for had cauliflower ear from being on the phone so much...he was really good at recruiting for an honest man....haha

7

Texting is asynchronous. You don't both have to be available at the same time to exchange useful information. And if you want, you can check to see if someone is available and finish it up by talking to each other on a standard phone call. I don't like leaving voice mail either.

I hate checking voicemail. For me, if I don't answer, just leave me a text message or call me later. I check voicemail about once every two months.

@Bierbasstard Lol! No land line for me, and I turn all notifications off (except calendar) for exactly that reason. ?

6

I hate texting, impossible to read emotion or body language, then there is that tiny freaking keyboard and my need for correct grammar. I spent a month texting with a guy that our most in depth conversation was how are you doing today. Then he had an emergency and wanted money. Blocked him so fast. I'm not fond of the phone either, I'm on the phone at work too much. From a dating site since I am only looking for local guys we're going to meet in person fairly quickly or I'm going to lose interest. I find it is the scammers that don't want to or won't meet in person.

6

I hate to talk on the phone as most conversations of give and take are about banalities. I text and usually let calls go to voicemail or messages so I can later take a look and see if I will call back. If it is late at night, I will probably groggily answer, expecting an emergency. People who know me know this and also know I don't always respond to unexpected knocks on my door. I am usually doing something that I'm engrossed in. Does this make me crazy or an oddity as a woman? Perhaps but I long ago accepted myself and aren't apt to change. Now in person, I love to have conversations, but even those seem to be deteriorating into random remarks and half-remembered bits from last night's news or talk show. I am not being mean or trying to make myself into something I am not, (As I've been accused); it's just not in my nature.

Your answer was banal. 🙂

6

All people who choose to text rather than talk are avoiding direct human contact for one reason or another.

In what sense? Is every call a demand for expected immediate attention!? Are we supposed to "Hop to it?" I certainly hope your post was sarcasm and I'm too dense to see it...

Thats what I think. You cannot discuss, question or show feelings.

You make a valid point.

@Crimson67 My phone conversations are usually short and to the point. I generally spend no more than 6 minutes a day on the phone. My communications which is non-immediate is by e-mail or facebook message. I see absolutely no point in texting.

@Angelface It was pretty clear. Maybe you are too dense. 🙂

6

Wait, you can talk on these things?
I only text and check my feed with it

6

I can't speak for others, but with the right person, I love talking on the phone--especially since I have never sent a text in my life.

Thank you for restoring my faith in men Kevin. There are nightmares out there.

6

As an introvert and shy person, I'd rather do texting because it allows me to articulate and express my words better than talking over the phone.

For a week claiming something is wrong with your phone? Yet you can text and send pics?

@sassygirl3869 I'd like to be safe with my words so as not to arrive at a misunderstanding. You know, most women tend to twist words in their heads. Although I have no problem about it, the event that mostly happens after it is what we men try to avoid.

@sassygirl3869 If we're talking about a new possible dating person and he or she is able to text and send data, but claims he or she "can't" use the phone for a conversation, that, to ME, is a glaring, flying, waving, in-your-face big red flag that something fishy is up.

If two people have met, dated, are seeing each other or whatever, I don't see anything wrong with using primarily texting for communicating.

5

I like brief texts just to pass enough information on to get a point across. If I'm going to have some meaningful conversation with someone I prefer a call because texts can be misinterpreted quickly if you don't know the feeling behind the words.

5

Not at all.

Thank you Rob.

5

I only call at dinner time so we can talk about windows and siding. Possibly if it goes well, we can move on to the roof.

5

I'm horrible on the phone and much better in person. I suppose text is the first step.

5

Yes.

5

Some people are uncomfortable with the phone. Others are acutely uncomfortable with writing (I feel sorry for them in the age of email and social media). Often the latter group are not comfortable with reading, either. Those are the ones who don't get past the first sentence in an email you send them.

In short, everyone has a communication style.

Texting probably appeals to dudes because it's concise, to the point, resists getting into lengthy / deep conversations. Also there's a little endorphin hit when you get a reply in real time. Similar to FaceBook "likes" or "pokes". It's a small commitment and therefore if it's not reciprocated it's a small ego hit.

Then there's just the modern bias against the phone and email in favor of texting and social media. Phone and email are so 20th century to many people's minds.

If the context of your question is dating, I haven't had to engage in that in almost a decade, but I'd personally prefer phone (or, better, FaceTime / Skype) for sussing out long term relationships. Probably voice-only at first, out of recognition that women often want to schedule video calls around when they have their face put on 😉

Exactly in dating- texting for a week then inviting you to visit long distance which includes airplane flights, request for vacation time - difficult to text on phone-you want tohear their voice if it has gotten romantic?

@sassygirl3869 I would not presume on someone to let ME visit, much less the inverse, without some phone time or equivalent. And text is not equivalent.

Heck when I flew cross-country to visit my now-wife, my friends joked that I should be careful not to end up as a lamp shade. They really thought I was "out there" having a first date at a distance of 2,000 miles. Can't imagine having that based on texts only.

Same with me flying out to meet fellow member 2 months ago. Friends and family thought I'd come back in a body bag. We need to take chances when it comes to romance.

5

I dislike talking on the phone but thought it was just me and not all men. Sometimes I just don't feel like talking. But if there's something that urgently needs to be discussed, I will talk. Not don't like small talk in general, which is much worse on the phone.

Geoff Level 5 Mar 26, 2018
5

i prefer to talk on the phone

4

Yes. I would much rather talk on the phone though. I feel texting is a poor way to communicate.

4

I hate talking on the phone. When I talk to someone, I get as much info from facial expressions and body language as from their words. You can't do that on the phone. I'm also not the best at expressing myself verbally. It's a gift I wish I had.

4

I am to some extent, especially when I don't know someone very well. It's multifaceted. Uncomfortable pauses, getting tongue tied, fear of embarrassment, etc. I Prefer face to face, or texting

4

I have a strong dislike for phones, hate talking on the phone, but hate texting on it as well.
Email or face to face for me.
Phone calls mean trouble and stress.

I feel to see the real differences in email messaging and texting.

4

Yes....as much as many women. I, for instance, I am selective. With certain friends I can chat for hours...and with others not even 10 minutes.

4

There is no purpose to idle chit-chat. Unless there is some specific thing that needs to be said, it is more of a woman's social activity rather than what a man finds the need to do...speaking for myself, that is.

4

Just depends. I like being able to look someone in the eye and read their mouth when I'm talking to them and you can't do that over the phone. I tend to have trouble understanding people on the phone. I also hate long, drawn out text "conversations".

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:43814
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.