I used to go to a small Presbyterian church and even became a member. Now I am a closet atheist (my wife knows) and I really want to remain that way until I am comfortable with sharing my non-belief. I moved down the street and I don’t go to that church anymore. My ex-pastor is good friends with my brother in law and the pastor keeps asking how I’m doing and if I found a church.
By the title I thought of a cease and desist letter, but you are more complicated. Good luck.
Tell him the truth. You've nothing to hide or be ashamed of.
You listen far too much to what your brother in law is saying. As soon as he opens his mouth you need to start thinking of what's for dinner, have you picket up the dry cleaning yet, do the kids need to go back to the dentist, etc, etc.
This!
stare at him and never respond when he speaks.
this works with exes, pastors, salesmen, anyone selling something. you're blank lack of response discourages them very quickly.
Thatis his job......he is Supposed to be a leader/keeper to his "flock". Why does it bother you? Maybe tell Big Mouth who is passing this on to Not pass it on?
It is uncomfortable to be in any minority, particularly when it comes to belief systems. I am not you so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I would actually invite him to meet and tell him you no longer believe. He will liklely have much experience in "helping backsliders" and will have seemingly logical reasons to believe. He will likely try to guilt you into repenting.
The tact here is not to go with his talking points and just stick to "But I don't actually belive in there IS A GOD."
The test for a false god is that since there is no evidence said god requires faith. There is no god that does not require faith. Remeber this!
If he actually cares for you, you will know it. If he just wants to be right, or wants control it will also be obvious. It is only then that you can make the next move.
It sounds to me that he may only be conscerned about you. If so that os good even if his motives are misguided. He too like us is a human.
"I'm an atheist. Stop pressuring me about religion," works for me.
Put a statue of Baphomet in your front yard.
Then, everyone will leave you alone. Or they'll chase you out of town. Either way, problem solved.
Actually, that's terrible advice. Don't listen to me.
So long as the man is not threatening you or endangering you, then it's just a matter of time and he'll leave you alone.
That's when the rumors will start, though...
Where you don't want to out yourself yet - feel free to say "I'm doing just fine thanks for asking.". And leave it at that. (They can make their own presumptions).
Never give an answer to the question - simply deflect it.
Both your BIL and the former pastor should take the hint eventually.
You don't ever have to give an answer you don't want to give.
You can also go with "Oh I'm not concerned" and if that doesn't work "Neither should you be".
Try; "I've stopped going to church, if I'm ever interested again I'll let you know."
If that doesn't work try; "Feck off!"
"Yes, I have found the Satanic church, and I am happy to invite you to accompany me to a service."
I would use the best Brooklyn accent you can come up with and tell him you are going to make him an offer he can’t refuse and if the Brooklyn accent is too difficult to do I know a few people that would be glad to do it
If you have already made your decision that you no longer believe in god, then come out of the closet and be true to yourself. You don’t need to go around telling everyone that you no longer believe because it’s nobody’s business but yours. You don’t need share your belief (or disbelief to be more accurate), its a personal matter, but if asked directly I would just say that I no longer wish to go to church as I no longer believe in god. I think you will be relieved after you’ve done this, and won’t have this pastor on your case any more.
What you describe sounds mild. I know someone who was hounded by the Mormons for decades. Even after they threatened legal action every year or so there’d be a call.