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How do you answer "How are you today?"

"Hi there. What are you up to today?" a man asked as a first message on a dating site.

"What am I up to?" I replied. "At the moment I'm drinking coffee and thinking about how to answer your question. Are you asking about the moment, today's activities or life goals?"

Then I felt guilty for being a smart-alack. I followed up politely:

"I'll bite. Today I plan to lift weights and use the rowing machine at the gym. What's your plan for today?" This brings us to the ceaseless question:

"How are you today?"

Cashiers and service people don't want an answer.They want to appear friendly.

"Happy!" I reply with a smile, startling people into consciousness. "Not unwell," I reply to men on dating sites with thanks to George Carlin.

Unless we're talking with friends and family, we're all like talking dolls, endlessly repeating the same trite and tiresome lines: "How are you?" "Hot enough out there?" "Don't work too hard!"

Sprayed with God Cologne

"Increasingly at Southern airports, instead of 'goodbye' or 'thank you,' cashiers are apt to say, 'Have a blessed day!" David Sedaris wrote in his hilarious book, Calypso.

"It can make you feel like you've been sprayed against your will with God cologne. "Get it off me!" I want to scream. "Quick, before I start wearing ties with short-sleeved shirts!"

"As a business traveler, you'll likely be met at your destination by someone who asks, "So, how was your flight?" This, as if there are interesting variations and you might answer, "The live orchestra was a nice touch," or "The first half was great, but then they let a baby take over the controls and it got all bumpy."

"In fact, there are only two kinds of flights: ones in which you die and ones in which you do not."

Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 28
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67 comments (51 - 67)

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1

I generally say, "How do I look?"

If they say "You look great!" Or anything, really, but I hear that one the most.

I say, "Well, that's how I am."

1

Interesting how asking for the dating chap for clarification made you feel like a smart Alec, which apparently is a bad thing 😉
Like you my answers depend on the person and how I’m feeling. Sociologists have long described the question as simply a social construct where you just say you’re fine, even if you’re not. If you’re lucky the people you give a true response to are your friends 🙂

1

I loathe all those questions. Insincere BS

MizJ Level 8 Dec 28, 2019
1

That question is one I can take all over the place from plain old okie dokie, to, well hell, I'm doing just fine I got me a pasel of diem to carpe. (In my best southern drawl) it all depends on my mood

1

I was a world traveler before I retired, most people received me saying welcome back to (insert city and country), to which I always replied without overthinling anything, I'm glad to be back and then how's business? That made me avoid small talk and go directly to discussing what I was there for. Now when people greet me they never ask me how am I doing, they just say good morning or afternoon and I basically respond the same with warmth.

1

You reminded me of a moment when I was stationed in the island of Crete, Greece... in the 90's... My Officer in Charge asked the the base RP (religious program specialist)... "How are you today RP?" His response was "LOUSY" as he continued walking to the back of the bus. Everyone laughed... as my Officer in Charge said "That will teach me a lesson". We laughed some more. RP was a strange fella.

1

How are you doing?
Depressed, frustrated, poor, and lonely. Do you care?

Have a blessed day!
Well f#@k you too! I don't need your Southern Polite Passive Agresssive swipes.

Keita Level 5 Dec 28, 2019
1

Well, I woke up this morning on the right side of the grass, thank you.

1

Well I work in hospitality, I generally ask people how they are, say hello and how are you, various things, sometimes it depends on the person. Its also a practice of learning to read people. While its true that some cashiers can be miserable I have seen it. I would say the idea that no cashier wants an answer from you is too much of an assumption.

A lot of people have issues aside from the idea of religion and while i can't rightly speak for all countries I know that in the united states there is an active stigma, I am avid supporter and practicer of dealing with mental health issues. What is a mental health issue, its anything that disturbs your peace of mind. Everyone has them, if someone disagrees I am not looking to debate, Its simply my idea.

I have found myself pondering Einsteins idea of the most important decision for myself. "The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe." It has been my idea that it is quite hostile. Now i am starting to think a little different, I think it has to do with me. Now I practice answering how are you with It's a Beautiful day in the Neighborhood? How are you. its not so much the idea of the weather its how I practice to look on every moment. In no way shape or form perfect, i have moments of upset and other feelings like everyone else. Its a practice.

Supposedly Pele said "Everything is Practice"

1

I'm fine...how are you?

1

Fine, thanks. How are you keeping?

@ Paddypereira

"How are you keeping?" As if they are food that goes bad.

@LiterateHiker, Irish English. Got too used to it. 😉

0

Well, certainly, even as misanthropic as I am, it's commonly recognized that "Hi - how are you?", "Fine, thank you" are perfunctory symbols. And obviously, we treat others close to us differently - there are actually a few people for whom I am genuinely interested in their well-being.

But between strangers (like cashier and customer or cabbie and fare) or even just casual folks (like co-workers), these words are meant to initiate transactions with minimal effort while. These words set the tone for the transaction and are meant to be non-threatening by demonstrating mutual concern - just like a handshake is meant to symbolize that one possesses no weapons.

And we should just accept it as such, without real complaint - we all want to be about our way.

IMHO and not specifically critical to anyone listening here - strangers who break this flow irritate me. When I ask "How are you?", it is NOT an invitation to complain about current troubles about which I cannot nor will not do anything - and it is NOT an invitation to say something snarky to me to point out such perfunctory rote as if I am a dullard and the snarker is somehow 'enlightened' or 'superior' in pointing it out.

Perhaps it makes me stodgy and old-fashioned, but a swift rebuke is sure to follow from me when I encounter what I consider basic rudeness.

0

I usually say like "have a nice day" it covers both sides, but for some reasons mine usually come a bit sarcastic....lol or maybe there is that many deserving...lol

0

I am still upright, so it can't be too bad!!!

0

I am Retired... with no worries... Always in Love with the Attractive, Intelligent Woman... Not the Bimbos... Only the ones in my Age Group. Making enough money to give my son 1500 monthly to do as he feels fit. No woman aggravating my life. Currently living in my daughter home. Until I depart to Puerto Rico ending an adventure that started in 1980. I move between DC/Maryland (my kid sister). Las Vegas (my son), Jacksonville (my daughter). I am a Real Bona Fide Gypsy. Despite the pain of losing a daughter last year... I am doing Great, Retired, No Worries. When I want aggravation... I am in a somewhat relationship for 18 years with my Best Dance Partner Ever... a Professional Ballroom Dancer living in DC. I could always visit. Life been good and when I feel to be obnoxious I come to this site... In the meanwhile I am as Relaxed, Happy and Healthy as any Retired could be. My Navy Memories are Royally Good and Great to revisit.

0

"Ok, I guess". Is a common answer I give

I do not see "have a blessed day" specifically as "God cologne ". I understand, "blessed" is used a lot by people of optimist out look in life. Most of these people understand a difference in a blessing or cursing, speaking good or speaking evil. So, as a genetic good speaking to someone it is simply said " be blessed". I can understand that "God bless you" would smell more like God cologne as opposed to "smells like teen spirit " , maybe.

"to confer prosperity or happiness upon" does not require God thingies. How ever I find people that are not "God minded" they tend to be of an evil. Pessimistic speach.

used in the phrase "bless you" to wish good health especially to one who has just sneezed.

Word Level 8 Dec 28, 2019

The first time I head the phrase "have a blessed day" was from pagan friends, so I normally associate that phrase with pagans.

0

Aside from a touch of arthritis, I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking.

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