Would u marry a theist?
See, I have always thought about marriage but the fact is in my area Atheists are few.. Would you marry a theist? I can if they don't bug about going to church..
8
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It would depend upon how he addressed my atheism.
Deb57
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
2
How do you feel about militant Atheism and fighting violent theocracies to their core false beliefs and harming infants and girls ?
@Larry68Feminist Wow, that's a lot to unpack! Militant atheism is not my thing, but that could change if I felt threatened enough by theism, I suppose. I support fighting violence, whether its source is theocracy, greed, territorial, or some other flavor of power mongering. And of course I am strongly against harming infants and girls. Or boys. Pretty sure I can say with confidence that I wouldn't marry a guy whose stance on anything was too militant, or was into violence or harming infants or girls. But if a guy of good character found some comfort and peace in a belief system, and was able to do so without being judgmental or unkind, and if we were compatible in many other ways, I might consider him as a potential partner. Religion and morality don't have a whole lot to do with each other.
@Deb57 I have been fighting 40 years to teach the difference between secular ethics and the 100% source of "morality" = religion....as an American Atheist leader academic and religious attacks often equated Atheism as immoral....academia has always enabled religion and mis-defined Atheism fundamentally as one of many philosophies....only in the historic declarations of Thales can Atheism be traced to the first Atheist philosopher 27 centuries ago.....the very allegations that gawds are operant principles observed in nature was not finally eliminated until 150 years ago debunking the luminiferous ether as gawd....I define militancy as organized disciplined movement of assets in strategic directions ....in the case of Atheism mobilizing information and deployed logical demands for evidence from believers for their magical claims....it would be nice to find someone who feels all that is sexy and comforting....indeed the only true "gospel" is as John Lennon sang: no hell below us above us only sky
@Larry68Feminist I live in a very rural Bible-belt-y area. You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a bank or a church. I know it's a ratio thing, but I'm fond of making the truthful remark that I know a great many more immoral theists than immoral atheists. Can't swing a dead cat without hitting an immoral theist around here, either.
Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
Been there, done that, burned the t-shirts (yes, more than one).
It rarely works. Sure, there are some who claim it works for them, but I think
those cases are few and far between.
I have learned that it is not possible for me to be in a relationship with ANYONE
who harbors religious delusions.
As I said in another post, it may start out with promises that "it doesn't matter if you don't believe the same things I do", BUT inevitably, those promises turn out to have
been lies, and it DOES matter.
I believe it's even worse to have children with someone who believes in things that don't exist. It is a source of constant disagreement, and it's rare when then the non-believer can successfully raise their children without forced religious influences.
I'm a firm believer that children should NOT be given the option of making up their
own minds about religion. I think that's an unmitigated load of bullshit.
I also firmly believe that ALL religious indoctrination of children should be classified as felony child abuse.
My personal experience has proved to me that it is not possible to have a successful
"romantic" relationship with a believer.
I believe believers are mentally ill. I have no interest in being involved with someone who is actively engaging in a deliberate mental illness.
KKGator
Level 9
Jan 5, 2020
8
Most religionists are sociopaths...Glenn Beck polling reveals a plurality of USA voters approved TrumpOLINI murdering the Iranian General and companions in Iraq WITHOUT WEAPONS talking at a peace conference...Beck sociopath TrumpOLINI sociopath drone "pilot" sociopath Pence sociopath et al murdering other religionists for terrorist controlling reasons uncaring burning Petroleum causes cancer and polar ice melt....genocidal profiteering sociopaths provoking other believers to greater revenge
I don't think a theist would marry me... as they'd have to accept fully my beliefs first. Pretty sure that's not an option. Besides, I'd have too hard a time pretending I respected their lifestyle.
Wattoje
Level 5
Jan 9, 2020
7
Yes what about the believer boys and females...why do they seduce us Atheists and want marriage thereafter ?
No, I would not marry a theist because I place far too much value on intellectual honesty.
anglophone
Level 9
Jan 8, 2020
7
if he had a good job and a big enough pecker yes
whiskywoman
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
3
Revenge sex ?? Getting even for decades of bad boys in bed low income ???? There are better ways to frequent orgasm than retaliating against all boys with tiny penis
@Larry68Feminist really? interesting ... not my wheelhouse
@Larry68Feminist to each his or her own
There are plenty of lukewarm, hypocritical Christians who only give lip-service to their family traditional faith. They attend church on certain holy days, and live a secular life otherwise.
But even if you are dating a sincere believer, men benefit from patriarchal church traditions that expect women to cook, clean, have children, put husband and family first, even if she works. As long as she doesn't attack, nag, or ridicule his beliefs, no problem.
But I personally, wouldn't date a theist, unless it's clear the person is blase about religion.
I've been tentatively renewing a relationship with an ex who identifies as religious, mostly because of pure physical attraction. He said he's not attended church for a decade, doubts the whole Christianity thing.
As a "demi-sexual," I don't feel sexual attraction for anyone until after a close relationship of WELL over a year, and then I can only feel attraction for THAT person. But since he's an "ex," I've already bonded with him.
Facebook video chats with an old friend lifts my spirits, even if the relationship can't go anywhere, since I'm a recovering cancer patient.
birdingnut
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
6
Been in a relationship with a cradle catholic for 26 years. So far not a problem. We have enough family drama to deal with to keep us busy. Sometimes I ask her to pray to her saint that helps me find my keys. I do call her my praying mantis and she just goes along with it.
Carey
Level 5
Jan 5, 2020
5
No.
I believe a positive relationship should be based on mutual respect and honesty.
To assert faith (belief without evidence) is a methodology to determine truth (things that can be demonstrated with facts) is dishonest. Faith is the foundation of the theist mind-set. As I do not respect dishonest people and I value truth over superstition I do not tolerate theists.
NoMagicCookie
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
4
Why marry at all???
Corvislover
Level 7
Jan 5, 2020
3
A wedding brings 2 families and friends together supporting a new promise of lifelong love.... it is an honorable tradition too often dishonored by many actions....abuse ....lies ....job loss ....disease fraud....war..... temptation to see how sex is with other people ..... trouble with childbirth or delinquency....religion itself is a betrayal of natural mating monogamy imposing sexual obligations and patriarchal ownership of women and children....most states have "no fault divorce" meaning a marital contract is easily dissolved if parties can amicably liquidate shared assets and provide for the best interests of children.....to consider and practice intimacy as disposable temporary and compartmentalized seems like treating our bodies like a motel room or portable tent.....not all mammals mate for life or make somewhat permanent nests and social orders but I define our species as the most nurturing and symbiotic potentially
Life expectancy depends upon mating or close community involvement....males die 8 years earlier without it while females live 88 years single or mated... I don't want to die age 81 like most single men USA facts of life
@Larry68Feminist it doesn't have any financial benefits. Actually the opposite.
@Corvislover 2 most definitely live in the same place with less expenses. WIDOWs WIDOWERs benefits and alimony can expire upon a new marriage and thus two lovers should declare themselves roommates or co-renters
....blanket assumptions against love is natural for Atheists burned after a church wedding....we all should learn from experience and turn to each other not away from great potentials
@Corvislover It has financial benefits for a wife or husband if either one did not work long enough to collect social security because besides one spouse collecting his or her full amount the other spouse will also receive 50 percent of what the other receives .Also you can claim a non working spouse as a dependent and pay less income tax
I don't know where you live, but in a lot of places, some family rights and dynamics only triggers with marriage.
For example family insurance, inheritance, adoption rights, taxes etc.
@Pedrohbds i live in Arizona where all is 50/50. I have a career, property and an inheritance. That would all be half of my husband's if i married
@Pedrohbds, @richiegtt, @Larry68Feminist I have a housemate who is my best friend. She shares expenses with me. Lastly I have been married twice. Seems that im not very good at it.
@Corvislover Where I lived in Brazil for example you can't put your partner under the same health insurance if you are not married for example. Same with your retirement money or "social security" (it is not the same there but close). If you are not married your partner don't have right of inheritance or pension, insurance etc.
there is the civil union that exists and trigger some of those rights, but not all of them, that is why LGBT(etc) movements ask for marriage rights. It is easier to change one law that talks about marriage than change all other laws and regulations that talks about those rights.
@Corvislover your choice your freedom you seem very good at being you, perhaps those two spouses were the problem....not you not marriage need be blamed as choices
@Corvislover WRONG AGAIN false assumption....community property
Does Not include your pre-existing assets
....to head off claims to the contrary, pre-nuptial agreements are 100% binding on all declared possessions of yours any future spouse CANNOT CLAIM any of it unless YOU give a television or a car to the spouse by sharing an insurance policy....your house is yours unless you allow the spouse to refinance the mortgage with his/her name on that AND THE previous PRINCIPAL still is yours...all of that changed 190 years ago when Judge Cady daughter Elizabeth changed property marriage laws in New York her best friend Susan Anthony helped fight in all 45 states to protect women from patriarchy and both women were great Atheist Feminists of Seneca Falls NY
@Larry68Feminist you strike me as a lawyer.
@Larry68Feminist if I married I would lose close to $2000/month... ain't Nobody that cute!!!
@AnneWimsey nobody should give up money for love but people our age should keep our taxes separate contracts separate and love secret under the same roof to avoid such status penalties
@Corvislover I named my daughter Darrow after America most famous Atheist lawyer Clarence Darrow.... building up people protecting their rights from false teachings like religion and patriarchy
It would certainly be easier if the theist in question simply believes there is some sort of god/force/consciousness that is responsible for creation and leaves it at that. If this person has put this god/creator into a box/holy book, saying it wants this or that of us--well, that would be absolutely out of the question.
Even so, I have enough believers to deal with in my life. I prefer someone with whom I have a connection as a non-believer.
Joanne
Level 7
Jan 5, 2020
2
Yes and I did 35 years ago .She does not attend any church.No issues .Interesting discussions once in a while in regards to belief and non belief . Daughter exposed to both points of view and was not swayed either way.A closed minded nonbeliever who would not marry a theist is no better than a closed minded theist who would not marry a nonbeliever .
richiegtt
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
3
Not until I convert her to atheism. 
I can tolerate theists, but a spouse needs more than toleration. A married couple should work together toward their common pursuits. Theism divides families.
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Jan 5, 2020
4
Nope and I can't imagine being attracted to someone who asked me my star sign or offered to read my cards either. Hell, I don't want a moron.
MsDemeanour
Level 8
Jan 13, 2020
3
Astrology is selling personality stereotypes having zero to do with planets the moon and constellations.... geebush jeehobah ghostholes was a CAPRICORN ???? what a crock of shit....Pinnochio is a better book to read to kids than bibles or star charts trine Jupiter and Mars
I don't want but I can't find any atheist
Yahaira
Level 4
Jan 7, 2020
4
There are Atheist intellectuals in Costa Rica but most hide in the closet.....come to USA when your college graduation is complete and get good jobs here and millions of Atheist Feminist real men are available
I don't believe marriage is necessary for a happy committed relationship.... but then, we have common law relationships in my country. Whereas, such a thing may not exist where you live. I would not marry anyone, but I definitely won't be marrying a theist, especially a christian or muslim.
demifeministgal
Level 8
Jan 6, 2020
4
No! I don't think I could. Especially if they were of the evangelical bend like my family. I had enough of that garbage growing up.
missingkitsune
Level 4
Feb 15, 2020
3
Probably not, but there are theists and then there are theists.
I would absolutely not be involved with a rabid fundamentalist. I might be involved with a liberal Christian, particularly one who isn't particularly practicing their faith.
I was in fact married to an evangelical (rural Methodist) at the time I deconverted but it presented literally zero problem for our marriage. She died of a lengthy illness. She did not agree with me but understood my reasons. I did not attempt to argue against something that gave her comfort in her final years.
But our relationship had always been based on mutual love and respect for each other, not on religious affiliations or activities. Her illness also made it basically impossible to participate in church, which meant our social lives weren't tangled up in it. That helped too.
So there are a lot of factors that go into this beyond simply "are they theists".
Currently I am married to an atheist who doesn't like that label for herself, preferring "agnostic" for the same philosophically inconsistent, yet socially comprehensible, reasons that many people do: it seems, to popular perception, more open-minded. Atheist seems too reactionary and harsh. It's too socially limiting an identity.
Even I only go so far as to apply the label "atheist" to myself; I don't lead with it socially. It generally doesn't even need to come up, here outside the Bible belt.
mordant
Level 8
Jan 6, 2020
3
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