Summary of my Dating Life
I walk into a cafe'
For a very first date.
Don't recognize him.
He gained a lot of weight.
And posted old photos.
He really looks bad.
It's so discouraging.
I feel quite sad.
"Let's have sex"
He says too soon.
We just met.
Not attracted, you baboon!
14
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11 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.But what if you found an out of shape man that was an "intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness." Is it possible that your overemphasis on a trim and toned body is leading to so many relationship failures?? Like the attraction is prioritized over the quality of the man?
demifeministgal
Level 8
Mar 27, 2020
1
Take Bruce, for example. He is a counselor, atheist, highly intelligent, hilarious, kind and respectful man. We had fun together. But Bruce was badly overweight. From Louisiana, he had two deep fryers in his kitchen. His diet was deplorable. He still has diabetes.
But I recoiled at his smell. Of course, Bruce wanted sex with me. I enjoyed Bruce so much, I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
"I'm sorry Bruce, it just ain't happenin'," I said gently. Couldn't stand his body smell. Wasn't attracted to him.
We remain friends. Bruce moved to Dallas to be close to his children. Visiting England, Bruce nearly died last year. He was in a diabetic coma for a two weeks in intensive care.
@LiterateHiker It's a different ball game in the senior years clearly. I don't know if all overweight men have bad smells or just the diabetic ones. 
But if it is more of a concern someone will die on you early and you will have to be their care taker, rather than a superficial reason, then I get it. 
So is there a plan to change things on your end?
JuniorMadame
Level 4
Mar 26, 2020
2
I feel tired of people telling me to lower my standards. I am not attracted to wobbly folds of fat. The majority of men agree. Men often write in their profiles:
Looking for fit / trim lady
As I wrote in my profile:
"I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking."
With 90% of American men obese or badly overweight (60% of women), it is hard to find a fit man who still loves hiking and can do it.
If I wanted a fat, slovenly, ignorant, good ol' boy, tobacco-chawin', Republican fisherman and hunter who loves his Harley, snowmobile and chainsaw and decorates with antlers: I'd be all SET.
@LiterateHiker I was thinking you seem to have a predisposition to being attracted to photos that arent "real". In other words, you keep getting duped by scammers, even if they're low level, kinda pathetic scammers. So maybe don't lower you standards, but lower your expectations of finding anyone youd actually like. It seems your optimism is your enemy.
The quickest way to ruin the good and fun times is to load them up with expectations in advance.
I refuse to get all twitterpated over some guy before meeting.
NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET.
An extrovert, I enjoy meeting people. Learn from everyone I meet.
Seems like a common trend here.
Perhaps you are setting your sights too high!
Geoffrey51
Level 8
Mar 26, 2020
1
I feel tired of people telling me to lower my standards. I am not attracted to wobbly folds of fat. The majority of men agree. Men often write in their profiles:
"Looking for fit / trim lady"
As I wrote in my profile:
"I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking."
With 90% of American men obese or badly overweight (60% of women), it is hard to find a fit man who still loves hiking and can do it.
If I wanted a fat, slovenly, ignorant, good ol' boy, tobacco-chawin', Republican fisherman and hunter who loves his Harley, snowmobile and chainsaw and decorates with antlers: I'd be all SET.
I'm still of the opinion that if you can't recognize them from provided photographs then you should just pretend they're someone else from your past. I mean, you arent going to date them anyways, sooooo.....
Approach him wearing a surprised look on your face and talk excited and kinda fast: "Is that you Rodger? I haven't seen you since you ran off with John's wife Trudy! How is she? BTW, can't talk long - I'm here to meet someone for a date".
"So I finally caught up with you, Tom, it's been forever. How's your partner, what was his name? Oh silly me it's George. Did you 2 ever adopt like you'd planned?"
Have fun with it, it's all you'll get from the date anyways.
1of5
Level 8
Mar 26, 2020
1
Fortunately, I've never had what appears to be such a common occurrence: old, inaccurate pictures. I understand some people even use pictures of other people?
Seems you might want to meet in a place where you can see them from a distance, even before you enter. Avoid them altogether.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Mar 26, 2020
3
Wow, I'm sorry.
I don't want to seem boastful, but my last three dates all wanted it on the first date. I kept asking if they were sure; they were.
Then the first one started giving me career advice. The next said it had been too soon after all.... and the last had not told me something that would have changed MY mind if I had known.
So... at least we're getting dates?
Paul4747
Level 8
Mar 26, 2020
3
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