Have someone else take a picture. Make sure there is a shot that shows your build. It doesn't matter if the build is good or bad, because it is honest.
I keep getting reminded by one of my teenage daughters that all of the pictures I take of myself make me look like an old man.

That's just weird and creepy.

Really all of these are good, but also guys more than 10 years older than I am.

omg, I've just lol on my comment above

@MattJKeller

What's a Karen haircut?

@LiterateHiker
In my age group(35-45) it is a haircut that has become synonymous with someone who is rude to people. It would be analogous to a mullet. That haircut doesn't guarantee anything, but it isn't unheard of to have a specific type of person have the haircut. It should be noted that my wife had the haircut for awhile and it looked fantastic on her. And she was nowhere near a jerk.

@Ninanah
There is a BIG difference between what you wrote and a Tinder profile.
A fictional, but surprisingly accurate example:

"Lol Im just a country girl lovin the world and riding my harley I like to drink busch lite and I love to grill lol"

Notice how lol was used more as punctuation than as a valid part of the sentence?
There is no doubt that my grammar and punctuation could be better, but the profile shows what kind of effort a person is willing to put forth. Or not put forth.

You live in Illinois and I live in Iowa, both are Midwest. I can tell you that in this region almost all the women that have kids are very family-oriented and go on about their kids in their profiles, including most of them having photos of their kids in the profile. So your dealbreaker about kids would pretty much limit you in this region to only dating women without kids, which, in your age group, would be a really small pool, esp. with women who aren't religious or conservative. Welcome to the dating puddle.

Hey @TomMcGiverin
I don't mind women with kids at all. The whole thing is the "Take-it-or-leave-it" attitude.
Also, showing pictures of your kids in the profile is kinda.. weird.

@MattJKeller I know what you mean. I was being sarcastic. And totally agree, it's terrible a profile full of words that don't say anything. I don't judge bad writing and grammar just because my english is not perfect

@Ninanah Gotcha.
I have a bad habit of taking things literally.

@MattJKeller I agree Matt. The problem is the whole defensive attitude of women with the take it or leave it, attitude and the whole thing of emphasizing the kids so much you wonder if they are really seeking a partner for a couples relationship that involves kids or instead more of just an escort to family gatherings and spending family time to the exclusion of any alone couples time. Showing the kids in a profile pic is also an innappropriate exposure of those kids to people who may be predators.

@MattJKeller Exactly what is a Karen haircut? Just curious, it's probably related to my being older so I haven't heard of it.

@TomMcGiverin

@MattJKeller Thanks Matt.

I always thought that it was weird to worship and believe that a God that is loving and benevolent is to be feared.

hahaha I love that! I am willing to relocate to a mansion at the beach in California. yes, please

At least you're honest about baldness being a dealbreaker. Most women aren't, at least in their profiles, and so it gives false hope and leads to wasted time for bald men like me to message them on dating sites. I would guess that at least 40% of women feel that way about baldness, but won't say it in a profile because they don't want to be seen as shallow, whether they are or not in being that way.

Of course, like everything, it goes both ways. Most men are the same way about women being overweight.

@TomMcGiverin I don’t put that in my profile! LOL. I just swipe left. I would never want to make someone feel bad about it, just as I wouldn’t want someone to make me feel bad about my weight.

@Apunzelle The problem is that if you don't put it in your profile, then guys who are bald will not know that about you and waste time messaging you since you seem compatible, at least in their eyes, based on what IS in your profile. Online dating is always going to be frustrating and full of rejection, but it would be somewhat easier if people were more open and honest about their dealbreakers and what they are looking for in the info they include in their profiles. Leaving things out that are dealbreakers for you seems, at least to me, to be sort of a form of false advertising and possibly also an attitude of "my time is more valuable than yours" by not trying to avoid others wasting time reaching out to you when they already have traits that are dealbreakers for you.

In a nutshell, treat others as you would want to be treated, as an equal, not as someone less important. Just because you can easily swipe left on bald guys doesn't mean that they are less important than you and that their time and effort is less important than yours. Stating the dealbreaker in your profile gives them the info to intelligently pass you by or swipe left, instead of messaging you and wasting their own time and effort.

The fact is that in most online dating, the men are left to do most or all of the pursuing, or initial messaging. As a woman, you have the privilege or option of being able to sit back and get lots of interest and messages from prospective men. So it is mostly quite a different situation for you than for a man as far as what happens when someone leaves dealbreakers out of a profile. Imagine if you were a man and having to make the first move or send the first message most of the time and almost all the men were not saying anything in their profiles about whether a woman being overweight was a dealbreaker for them? You would feel bad about it because almost all of your messages would get no replies, for that reason. And I bet you would then feel different about your position that people should not put those dealbreakers in their profile because it would "make others feel bad" about their physical traits. Few people approach online dating with a compassionate attitude of empathetically imagining everything being on the other foot.

@TomMcGiverin I get your frustration, but that’s sadly the nature of online dating. I would/will NEVER put “no bald men need apply” in my profile. I’m attracted to maybe 1 in 500 men I see online. Baldness is only one s part of that. I think people who list out what folks should or should not look like sound like arrogant assholes, IMHO.

The truth of the matter is that people (mostly men, but women, too, as I sometimes take the initiative) will face rejection or not being responded to. I don’t take it to heart. I just say “oh well” and move on.

@TomMcGiverin I think women don't put that because some men are hot bald. Most women wouldn't kick Bruce Willis out of bed for baldness. I would date Ed Harris, bald or not. A guy who looks like Danny Devito is another story.

@Emerald I think there is some truth to that, but at the same time there are many women that would never date a bald man and just don't want to look shallow, so they won't say it in a profile. Which is their right, but it still seems a bit inconsiderate.

@Apunzelle I guess we will have to respectfully disagree on this. I think that the more complete and honest the profile info, the better. By doing so, you are saving the other gender time and effort that would otherwise be wasted pursuing potential dating partners that will never be interested in them. Hardly seeming like "arrogant assholes" for being open and honest about their wants, at least in my book. I bet there are plenty of people who agree with me on that point, esp. men who are not above average-looking...

@TomMcGiverin Oh my goodness. How long does it take to send a like or a hello? Less than a minute. It’s NOT a big freaking deal.

And no one is going to make the profile YOU want. It’s their profile and they’ll write it however the heck they want. This is online dating ... love it or hate it, it’s just how things are.

@Emerald, @Apunzelle I completely agree. Getting too granular in the profile is a waste of everyone's time. The expectation that a woman has to almost explicitly lay out why she won't date(or is interested in) a guy is borderline misogynistic and damn close to the exhibiting the incel attitudes that guys my age(and younger) are often stereotyped as having.
The current lady I have dialogue with is not exactly my type, but apparently I am her type. If I had explicitly stated "No country music" then I will guarantee she would have moved on. Turns out some women are attracted to bald, bearded nerds.

@Apunzelle I don't think you will ever agree with me or get my point of view because you are a woman and the fact is that online dating, by default, ends up being the men doing most of the pursuing. So let me try another way of looking at it that might help you empathize a bit more. You dismiss my viewpoint rather blithely, saying "It's just online dating, take it as it is, etc.". Be that as it may, online dating is, unfortunately, an important thing for most single people, esp. those over 50 and those who are retired, as they are no longer in the wider social networks that are usually there for people who are younger and working that allow them to frequently meet other singles.

So, let's suppose you were job-seeking and in that situation you are always having to make the first move or contact with prospective employers. But those employers were not being completely open or honest with you and other applicants about what they are looking for in an employee. Maybe their criteria that is being withheld involves age, how frequently you have left jobs, who knows what else. Can you honestly say that you would just laugh it off or not feel bad over time if you kept getting no replies after applying for a hundred jobs or more and none of them ever responded with any feedback about why you were rejected? Because that is the lot of most men on dating sites who are average-looking or below. I know this because I have chatted with many of them on Agnostic over the last two years about this stuff. I highly doubt it would not bother you.

@MattJKeller Agreed. I find it to be a huge turnoff when a man's preferences are so specific it's like he's trying to order a human barbie off a menu. And often times, someone has attractive attributes in one area that make you overlook less desirable traits in another area.

@TomMcGiverin I still disagree. I am in my 50s, and I’ve worked from home for 5 years, so I face the same challenges you have. Except instead of being bald, I’m “curvy” ... men all want women to be “athletic and toned.”

A dating profile — and a job posting — specify what generally they’re looking for. They’re not going to get into the nitty gritty of every possible no. It just doesn’t happen that way.

I know you’re frustrated with online dating — I am, too! But you’re expecting people to change for YOU. That’s not how people write their profiles. I do my best, but I’m not writing a 5,000-word essay of every single like/dislike/turn on/turn off.

@Emerald That is a good way to put it.. Human Barbie doll.
I have a huge range with what I find attractive. Body types, attitudes, styles, etc. For me the most significant requirement is so silly, but she has to have "intelligent and kind eyes". I know that is really vague. I don't think I can explain it.

@Apunzelle I'm not frustrated with it currently, as I found someone mutually compatible after a long, frustrating two years on Match. But I remember well how it was and wanted to make the arguments on behalf of bald men who are tired of women who have that as a dealbreaker, but won't include it in their profile. It ends up feeling the same as a job-seeker who is constantly applying for jobs that seem appropriate for them, but they keep getting rejected with no reply because the employers are not being very specific or honest about what they are looking for. And believe me, from the working people who I have spoken to in the last several years, that is exactly how it is for most job-seekers, the employers hold all the cards, they rarely approach you about a position unless you are one of the more sought after people in your line of work, and few of those who apply for a job these days ever hear back from the employer.

Don't try to tell me that people in that low power position should just suck it up and not have feelings about those who are in a higher power position that treat them as being less important in their time, effort, feelings, etc. Just ask any frustrated job seeker. People either have empathy or they don't. You seem to have little in that area, so I am done with you. Few of us expect others to change for us, but we have the right to our feelings about their actions and how they treat us in general, whether it's an employer or someone on a dating site. Even if it's nothing personal, it still displays an attitude of selfishness or arrogance, and it's not something to be encouraged or praised.

Where is Deiter when I wish he was here on this thread? He used to write eloquent volumes on power dynamics and the way those with more power treat those with less so arrogantly and without empathy...

@TomMcGiverin I do have empathy. But not for you in this situation. You clearly are — or have been — frustrated by something outside your control, and you’re taking all your frustration at women who aren’t attracted to bald men out on me.

Women not responding in online dating? Oh well. Welcome to how the world works. Save your ridiculous tomes for something that matters. And maybe go back to dating in another century.

@Apunzelle, @MattJKeller I disagree Matt that writing a long or fairly complete profile is a waste of everyone's time. Esp. if in many cases it would save time for the other gender. I still think it is somewhat arrogant to go with a fairly vague, short profile, but it is their right. People are either empathetic and equality-minded towards others in the dating game or they aren't. Unfortunately, most people aren't, but that doesn't make it right or them any less selfish for being that way.

@Apunzelle Pretty insulting for someone who claims they have empathy. Time to block.

@Apunzelle Well, this escalated. I didn't even know a person could be blocked.
I "caught more bees" with a VERY simple(but witty) profile which spoke more about me than what I was looking for in someone else. I figure, let people decide for themselves. I'm not saying I've necessarily done well, but I am saying that I feel it is honest. I have definitely met women who had no issues with me being bald. Even a few who really liked it.

I've only been single and widowed for about a year, but I don't want to rush it. Also, when I "pick" someone on a dating site, I don't linger about them, I move onto the other one. I know that if I don't pique their interest, there will probably be someone else. If there isn't, there are friends of friends, coworkers, random strangers, people I meet at conventions.

@MattJKeller I think you have the right approach. Online dating is looking for a needle in a haystack. If one person doesn’t click, for whatever reason, you move on to other prospects.

And you’re spot on. We all have different preferences. Some women don’t like bald, others love it. Some men want athletic and toned, others love curves. To each his own. We just need to not take offense if we’re not someone’s thing.