Agnostic.com

14 27

Ooops, caused quite a stir last Evening with the Evangelidiot next door and using 'Whizz Kid's' little Voice Synthesizer, etc.
'God' ( my synthesized voice btw) spoke to him again only this time I forgot to check if he was alone.
Imagine, if you will, sitting inside your home and a deep, thundering voice booms from out of every corner and wall of the house/ room, that's what 'Whizz Kid's' little device does.
Only Evangelidiot had 3 other Evangelidiots visiting at the time when 'God' spoke to him again saying, " Why hast thou not yet departed as I, your God, instructed. Why hast thou not prepared such provisions and water as I hath instructed thou should. Art thou questioning mine words and instructions. Thou should be upon they travels to thine appointed place where upon I instructed thee to be and then, after the forty days and forty nights be awaiting mine arrival to grant unto thee mine new Commandments, get thee gone upon thy way or thou shall suffer my wrath and mighty shalt it be."
Shit, it was bloody hard not to laugh out loud as all 4 of the Evangelidiots came running out the house yelling thing like "Praise God, Praise Jesus, we have a new Messenger and he speaks with God and we have heard God speak to him."
Damn I wish I had a movie camera, it would be absolute fun to have been able to post it on here for all to see as they ran around like chickens with their heads cut off madly filling bottle after bottle with water, packing up stack upon stack of canned food, etc, etc, and actually begging Evangelidiot Jesus Jockey to allow them to follow him and become his Disciples.
Yes, I know it was a cruel thing to do, but a bloke deserves a wee bit of fun pay-back once in a while after all these years of being pestered by such an Evangelidiot doesn't he?
Plus the big up-side is IF he and his Evangelidiot 'friends' go treking off, the neighborhood will finally get some very welcome Peace and Quiet for the first time in over 5 years.

Triphid 9 May 10
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

14 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Well, at least you didn't tell them to purge the unbelievers with fire. Remember that ancient TV series, "Maude' ? ("God's gonna get you for that !" ) Heheheh....

TO_BY Level 7 May 16, 2020
3

I used to think god spoke to me. Sadly as I got older I realized it was me saying “god wants you to have that beautiful blonde over there”.

0

I have never heard of this device and a Google search is not turning anything up on it. Can you describe more about this device and how it works?

You'd have to ask 'Whizz Kid' about that, he designed and made it.
Heard from him today, when he came to collect it from me after I borrowed it, that he has just received notification his Patent Application has been approved.

Never heard of Whizz Kid, either, and a Google search for that is similarly uninformative. I think there is a guy or a group called Whizz Khalifa. Is that who you are talking about?

0

Hmm, a potential solution for those idiots clamoring to get back to church?

0

For that you will burn in hell for eternity.

LOL, at least it will be nice and warm in winter.

2

Wow, it’s a new religion! Now you just have to make some fake tablets and hide them in a cave, and it’s a done deal. Can you remind them to be kind to all, ( the word love seem to have confused some), and not judge others!
Thanks 😂

2

"this is the voice of ed, the talking horse".

Of course of course.

2

But you know he's more than a few fries short of a happy meal to begin with and now you've added hearing the voice of god to that?
It sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

This is the voice of Ronald,,,,,,ya know,,the clown.

5

Have you considered hiring yourself out...as JEHOVAH? Please? Think of the fun you could have in one of those evangelical churches.....

Don't say Jehovah! You know what happens.

@PondartIncbendog jehovahjehovahjehovahjehovahjehovahjehovahjehovahjehovah.

Now you are truly tempting me, think of the chaos I could cause at the next Sunday Mass at the Catholic Church.

@Triphid Please? Pretty please? If I could....I'd be a shill in the congregation! I'd leap up and begin raving in tongues...tearing my clothes....just think about it.

There might be a funny problem with that though angry Vic might have a saying those TV Vangelis you might get a wop on your doorstep with a gun to your head lol

@Drew69 While I certainly understand and agree with his anger....why did he have to go out to his car to videovent?

0

Lots o thee's and thou's there! I loveth it.

1

LMFAO Where was the speaker? I mean, did you have it connected to a giant amplifier? lol

The device itself is, apparently, an amplifier. Sort of. I don't understand it myself, but from what he described earlier I gather that this device can "throw" a voice so that it appears to be coming from wherever it was thrown (in addition to volume controls and voice modification.)

Quite the little device! And this is such a perfect application for it.

From what can gather from it's 'creator, our town's resident Electronics 'Whizz Kid,' of some 60+ years of age btw, it works like a reverse version of those parabolic microphones but instead of concentrating the sound as it comes in , it concentrates the sounds as it leaves the miniature speaker in the middle of the parabolic dish.
Add in his 'voice synthesiser' unit and you can select any voice you want from a Dalek through to Darth Vader, Donald Duck and even the 'Voice of God.'
My two 'episodes were its first 'away from home' test runs.

0

Reminds me of that X-Files episode, "Jose Chung's from Outer Space". One of my favorite episodes of television ever.

1

You should put this in the Editorial section of your local newspaper. The neighborhood would get a laugh from It. Lol

Around here word travels faster than the newspaper can print it so I'd guess the neighbours already know anyway.

4

Oh that's hysterical!!!!!!

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:494650
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.