I realized that when I went off to college, but then I suppressed those feelings for many years. Life happened and I finally sought and got help. My parents were the result of their parents and never "woke up". Glad I did. Today I'm at peace with myself.

My dad's always been something of an arsehole. Took me until me 20's to realise it wasn't just me who felt that way.

I got along much better with my mother I acknowledged that my mother and I didn't love each other because I quit trying to win the approval I could never receive.

I was 22. She said something that crossed the line and I told her to mind her own business. She didn't talk to me for 2 weeks. I knew it wouldn't last, but it was sure peaceful.

Mine were pieces of work.. But had I not watched them continue to grow as people, I’d want nothing to do with them today. I had concluded, they’d done their best. And, continued to grow, if not on purpose. They’re now old, and I’ll miss them, thus talk with them frequently.

Only with help

I don't remember ever liking either of my parents. And I don't remember them liking me either.

I get along very well with my mother but me and my father are polar opposites. Though I suppose I care about him, I really can't stand him and I don't like being around him. But if I want to spend time with my mother, who is in her mid 70's, I have to endure my father as well.

My father is pro-gun and pro-Trump, a racist and a bigot, rude, ignorant, and a jerk to me, my mother, and my sister.

So yea, I can sympathize with you Jolanta. We don't get to pick our family and it can be extremely difficult to cut ties with them without damaging your relationship with other members of your family.

If its any consolation, they have to kick the bucket sooner or later.

I'm kidding. Mostly.

I had a love/hate relationship with my critical, alcoholic father. Dad was cruel to me. He died when I was 24.

Counseling helped me stop playing victim, let go of resentment and forgive my father. "There's that 'not good enough' message from Dad again," I think, and relax.

When you acknowledge negative self-talk, it loses its power. Learned that from:

"Taming Your Gremlin- A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way" by Rick Carson. The drawings of people's gremlins- their inner critics- are hilarious.

Recently sent this funny and wise book to my daughter.

I have no idea. I was about 35 i guess. We are supposed to be smarter than our parents. In my case, that goal was easy.

I think my mom and I would have gotten along, and had she not died my dad would have been different. However, my dad was a horse's ass, and his wife was just an awful person. I put distance between us, literally. I joined the Army and got the hell outta town, and outta the USA. It has been a process over the years to fully remember and fully identify the abuses from my dad and brothers. I read the book Rage Becomes Her before I realized how bad the abuse really was. It's a good damn thing my dad had passed on at that point and my brothers were out of touch.

You don't have to like them. Just show them any respect they deserve and understand that even if they screwed up they were most likely doing the best they knew how. Then protect yourself and do better.

I think the critical element is to be able to separate yourself from them psychologically, primarily to decide that the biological tie only has the significance that you choose to afford it. You may resemble them physically but you can decide not to resemble them in any other way. The reasons you don't like them are valid and any decisions you make as result are legitimate.

I've been saying for decades just because you are related does not mean you have to like anybody, or be around them.