I think you are acting in a very magnanimous and understanding manner towards this man. It speaks to your character and generosity of spirit, and a wonderful example to your grandson, who will soon lose his father. You and your grandson will be able to lean on each other and gain the strength needed to get his father through this tough time. Together you will be there for him and afterwards will have the peace of mind of knowing you did the right thing for him. My thoughts and good wishes go out to you Antje, I’m sure your grandson must love and look up to you very much.

Do whatever you can to preserve your peace of mind. You owe that to yourself and your grandson. You did all you could for the son-in-law when it mattered. Don't let him drag you down with him.
Rather than focusing on every man's death, zone in on your grandson's life. He needs your support right now. Good luck.

I have trouble understanding the compassion you're showing him. You certainly don't owe him anything. Unless there is an afterlife your investment in him will certainly be wasted. The only benefit I can see is: when he is gone, at least you can feel that you behaved with great honor and compassion.

I think that what you do or have done is a reflection of you and what he does or has done is a reflection of him. To act in response to his actions would make you nothing more than a puppet. I'm impressed with your humanity.

I am so sorry you're going through this, @Spinliesel. In an intensely awful situation, he is fortunate to have you as a support system, and you're very good to be providing it. What an incredible gift you're giving your grandson.