I actually believe in kindness to all more now that when I was a Christian. I look back, and I was taught the same but the examples were "Love thy neighbor unless they are__." But my kindness does have limits when the person receiving my kindness is an ass. I do see your point though and think that can be a dangerous handicap.

One of the problems with religious education and upbringing, is that religion deliberately sets unachievable standards so that people will fail, and then have to turn to the religion for help and forgiveness. Unfortunately one side effect of that is, that children then grow up in a world filled with adults, who profess absolute love, kindness etc. but then go out and kick homeless people. ( That does happen, though I use an extreme case to make the point.) What the children then learn from observing their community, is that insincerity is normal, and to set little value on truthfulness, but to esteem shallow expression highly.

But that suits religions because of course, because truth is not what they want to sell.

Our overlords want us docile.
I'm through buying it.

Being instructed by your parents to love one another may be a Christian tenet but it’s not exclusively so, it’s also what I was told by my parents and they were non-believers. I have to disagree with the idea that showing love is a sign of being weak, in fact I think it’s quite the reverse. Of course there is a difference between being loving towards others and having it reciprocated, and showing love towards those who are hostile and hateful to us. We are perfectly entitled to stand up to them and disengage ...we don’t need to become hateful towards them, that would only change us into someone we are not, but we can just walk away and not allow them to hurt us. There’s is usually a reason people act in a hateful way, there’s usually a back story we don’t know about or they have a psychopathy. Mostly it is people who are damaged or are hurting, who are most likely to act this way. I can’t see that being taught to love can ever be a handicap, but along side that, we need to tell our children that they will find out that not everyone will be loving back, and walking away at times can be the best defence we have.

Maybe those who are malicious and hateful towards others do not know any better. They may just be the product of their environment.

I think all children necessarily lack the experience and intellectual sophistication to understand love at that level, but as adults, it is possible to learn. Even then, it isn’t easy or “natural”. It requires training and practice.

Your statement is logical .

Isn't this also found in the consensus on humanism?

. . . Hate only hurts the person who carries it in their heart. you cannot control what others do however you can control how you choose to react or not react.
. . . I remembers the teaching of my master from when I was younger, "people will never remember how right you were, they will only remember how kind you were "
. . . There were times growing up when I made a valuable ally from someone I thought was mean

Negative emotions exist in us for a reason; they serve functions. For example pain is a signal that something is wrong. Sometimes you need to cut harmful people out of your life in order to protect yourself.

Understanding others is better than just loving them, as in the whole "love thy neighbor" routine. Love is a feeling and a flaky one at that. Understanding, which brings a greater reward, takes a lot more effort than love and doesn't fade with one's mood.

I didn’t count how many times nuns told me to turn the other cheek.

I realized I had only two cheeks and knew I would ignore them.

Simple answer, no they don't. But hatred consumes you. My take very simplified is never hate when you can forgive, never forget though, this out of personal wellbeing. Even for people you can barely stand to tolerate because of their deeds, I always say, let justice take care of the punishment. I know it is difficult, and sometimes justice never comes or arrives too late. It's just that when you really hate, that negative feeling will make your inner peace and joy disappear.

Christians cherry pick. When I saw your post I immediately thought of the old Byrd’s song “Turn! Turn! Turn!”

… And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

This was taken from Ecclesiastes 3.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
5 a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Biblical advice is whatever a person looks for in that book. IMHO a bit of common sense would be more beneficial. Forgive if the person is worth it and don’t get suckered in a second time. Loving an asshole just sets a person up for pain and disappointment.

Yeah, I was raised in a Christian home for almost my whole life. The "love of god" that they are supposed to have is reserved for others in their denomination or those that agree with them. Everyone else gets hatred.

All behavior is learned. Therefore, all abhorrent behavior is learned from an extremely sick society that perpetuates abhorrent behavior. Most people are f'd up by their parents, through no fault of their own, and never recover from it.

It is important to not seek vengeance, but to instead find the source of abhorrent behavior in order to correct and learn from it. If you exact revenge; you may feel better in the moment, but it helps noone.

Just remember, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." - MasterYoda

IF the believers actually did what they preach instead of merely cherry-picking then they would be far, far better people imo.
E.g. They preach about Peace and Loving one another BUT in reality they are, more often than not, the snidest, snakiest, meanest, back-stabbers of all time in my experiences.

I see this fully. In order to get along with everyone limit or completely kill you beliefs that cause you and others stress. If any belief system is stressful you do not want it and you do not want it on your fellow man.

"Love one another."

Sounds good to me.

I think love is based in part on respect. If a person doesnt' earn respect, they most often aren't worthy of love.

An answer can be only as good as it’s question. A question of deservedness is a question that asks us to make a moral judgment, and has no scientifically verifiable answer.

A more objectively answerable question might be... do they need love? And not only do I think there’s ample scientific evidence to support the claim that all humans need love, I strongly suspect the bad behavers are more likely to have been shortchanged of their fair share at some critical period in their development. Maybe they need it more than anyone.

There are parts of the Bible that actually say that loving of others only applies to fellow believers.

The hateful and malicious deserve to be avoided.

"Love"as once described to me, as that you hold most dear in yourself, that you see in another......does not prescribe that there is anything about another, that you care for, or about, or even like....