I couldn't help laughing when he called himself a Shaman.
"Spirituality is very important to me," he wrote in his dating profile. (He's a glass artist.) This evening, we talked on the phone. We got along until I asked what he meant by that.
"I'm a Shaman," he replied. "I go into the woods and desert to sit and chant and make offerings. It's an American Indian type of thing. I go on vision quests and fast for three days."
When he started talking about expressing his soul through art, I burst out laughing. "Oh, dear God, no!"
"We don't make a good match," he replied stiffly, offended. I agreed.
Chastened, I apologized for being unkind. He blathered about learning from each other before I said goodbye.
Am still laughing. I need to work on self-control and being kind.
18
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23 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Like the day I was filling up my car at the gas station and turned to see a guy with a purple Mohawk.
I mean I had seen them in photographs and TV, like Road warrior but never in person.
Instantly I was laughing so hard I farted, that was even funnier and with tears running down my face and my sides hurting I realized I wasn’t being kind, which made it even funnier.
I think it’s the only time I have ever laughed at anyone that way, and I’m so sorry that I did that but I swear it was 100% reflex.
The general rule of thumb for me as a trans-woman now is to never laugh at someone’s appearance. It could end badly, but this was 1990 and I hadn’t admitted my trans ness to myself much less anyone else.
I was a dick, but I’m laughing now remembering it.
Willow_Wisp
Level 8
Dec 8, 2020
6
Okay... now you have me laughing too..
You never know what will set one off, but you as you described yourself seemed to have an exceptional out burst 
MizJ:
Nearly 40 years ago I had a purple mohawk. People were assholes. They threw food at me in McDonalds. A guy at the mall walked into a wall while staring at me. It was a good lesson in how intolerant people can be. I vowed to not be a sheep after witnessing their cruel, heartless acts.
@MizJ yeah, I don’t get making fun of someone’s appearance. If it’s not hurting anyone, more power to them 
Whats wrong with a purple mohawk exactly ?
@MonikaBard Nothing unless is sneaks up on you and startles you. I’ve seen far weirder since, like I said it was pure reaction, not really a judgement, I honestly feel guilty over it, and it says far more about me then them.
Sometimes it just comes out - like a fart.
BitFlipper
Level 8
Dec 7, 2020
6
good one
I helped a guy paint himself into a corner once after he started claiming "Indian" culture, by asking him to be more specific about which of the First Nations traditions he was appropriating.
Deb57
Level 8
Dec 8, 2020
4
Excellent. Well done.
Native Americans, and pagans, got it right a long time ago when it comes to believing that all things are connected. From stars, to rocks, to all fungi, flora and fauna, to us-- everything is connected atomically and chemically; and knowing this can create a stronger bond between us and everything else. I just draw the line at anything supernatural, and everything having a spirit, or everything being part of a universal consciousness.
I couldn't be with anyone who crossed that line.
Joanne
Level 7
Dec 8, 2020
2
Bullseye Glass in Portland has been closed a couple times, due to toxic chemicals involved in their production process. Maybe this guy got some amazing, discounted materials for his glass blowing and vision quests. Who knows, maybe the stuff is strong enough to convince him he's in the desert, among the trees, or on the moon!
chalupacabre
Level 8
Dec 8, 2020
2
Am I the ass? This story made me laugh...
19dacar52
Level 7
Dec 8, 2020
2
I thought it was hilarious, too.
@LiterateHiker To be honest, I am still laughing.. I don't know why I can't stop. Of course @BitFlipper's answer may be affecting that as well.
@LiterateHiker We should be ashamed of ourselves. We're going to burn in hell... Oh wait! 
Sometimes honesty is more important than kindness.
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Dec 8, 2020
1
In a former life I worked with a shitload of artists, this one sounds tame. FYI a lot of artists feel that thier art is how they "express thier souls" - so yeah, if you meet another one you'll need some self control or a plan "B" to kill some time after a short date. 
I'd only laugh at him if his art wasn't any good. Thats when its actually fun to do.
1of5
Level 8
Dec 8, 2020
1
@1of5
I was married to an artist and art teacher. Terry asked me to edit his personal statement for an art show.
He handed me 10 pounds of bullshit. Eight pages of run-on sentences on his artistic process, mystical symbolism and visioning the spirit of his paintings.
"Nobody wants to hear about your artistic process," I said. "It makes no sense to people. Go talk about your artistic process with your artist buddies instead."
"Which customers are you trying to recruit: parents of kids who will take your art classes or art buyers?" I asked. Parents of kids, he said.
"You told me by fifth grade, most kids start comparing their art to other kids and get intimidated," I said. "How do you help students feel safe to be creative? What, specifically, do you do?"
So, I made teaching art the focus of his personal statement. In the last paragraph, listed his education and awards.
I let Terry have one sentence about his vague, woo-woo artistic process.
1of5:
@LiterateHiker you done editing this yet?
@1of5
As a published columnist and book author, I'm never done editing.
In the morning, I wake up with new ideas.
1of5:
@LiterateHiker In the morning, I wake up with new ideas.
Sounds like a woo-woo artistic process to me.
@1of5
Good joke. Actually, it has been proven that our subconscious problem-solves during sleep.
1of5:
@LiterateHiker I was raised by an artist (woodcarver, and a fantastic one at that - the evertt museum has asked me for some of his pieces so they can do an exhibit of his work when thier facility is complete) and some artistic processes are woo-woo because they can't actually be articulated in any other way besides art. Makes it hard on the artist, often they don't even understand the process themselves.
Fine, I'll edit too. Yes, sleep does a lot of things besides make us not tired. The free form flow of information unrestrained by the "normalcy" of being awake (which is why dreams are normally so weird) not only helps us problem solve but also make informed decisions, plus its been shown to put new information into long term memory. Its always, always best to "sleep on" important decisions, to make the best call.
Was he an American Indian? I have never meet a real Shaman, but I do kill them in the video game that I play. Neil deGrasse Tyson once said in a lecture that all religious beliefs are equally valid, which I took to mean that are all equally nonsense. I think I would have laughed also since I did when I read this story.
Robert_2001
Level 6
Dec 8, 2020
1
Robert_2001
He's a white male, 67, who never married with an ego as big as the sky.
"I had several important relationships," he said pompously. "The relationships ended when I personally grew more than the women."
@LiterateHiker Sound to me like laughing at him was a good thing for you.
Im sorry , but I don't see whats so funny about that. Artists DO have their own way to get inspired , Im sure
And if he wants to fast to get inspirations in his mind , I mean , whats wrong with that ? Lots of people take drugs, or drink, to get inspired.
I wouldnt join him in his rituals or adventures, but I woukdnt laugh about it either.
MonikaBard
Level 4
Dec 8, 2020
0
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