Optimism

Naps and Saturday morning cartoons

I miss not having to worry about anything. Life was mostly carefree.

i grew up in a trailer park in the woods. the owners had a crap load of different animals, mostly various birds, and the residents all seemed to have at least one pet each. plus folks would come to ride their horses out on the trails. i miss all the animals, i miss everything being so green, i miss food cooked on a campfire, i miss no lights blocking the stars, i miss the most delicious water ive ever tasted, i miss swimming in the river, i miss tree fort city, i really miss being a kid...

I think as a kid my friendships were closer.

To be amazed at everything around me

Adventure and discovery.

That’s an easy one, when I was a kid I didn’t hurt so much. Beautiful girls were plentiful (still didn’t work out all that well but I liked the view). There was a world full of adventures waiting for me. I wasn’t self conscious yet. Tuesday nights at 8 was The Red Skelton show. Saturday morning was all cartoons and they were funny and our superhero’s were found in 12 cent comic books.

I miss Saturday morning cartoons - sitting there laughing for hours without feeling like I was wasting time.

Not paying bills !!

Hanging out in the trees. Swinging on ropes that drop me into water. Exploring woods near home and finding treasure. Treehouses. Tarzan movies for 25 cents. Seeing the women who accompanied the race cars on trailers at the garage across from the library. Big books about adventurous lives. I could read all day and nobody could find me. Pie. Fishing in a Canadian lake with 34° water. Learning to waterski in a Canadian lake with 34° water. Picking wild blueberries and finding both a wasp nest, and a bear. Bears are most impressive up close. Making model airplanes from balsa and tissue paper. Talking outrageous ignorant shit. My first-kissing the girl I most dearly loved (we're talking @ 15) as a part of the play rehearsal we were in. In front of like everybody. Watching thunderstorms and lightning from the safety of my bedroom window. Viewing the houses torn up or down by tornadoes the day after. I could go on.

Not having the faintest idea of what a bill was.

Mostly going to my grandparents' house on Flathead Lake in Montana. We had so much fun with my grandparents.

Not having to worry about paying bills.

Playing in the forest

Nothing... except people that are no longer with me.

In every other sense... I still feel a kid. I still chase my dreams, I still believe I can change the world, I am still ready (and willing) to fight dragons.

I think my 8-years old self would be proud.

The over consumption of radically weird forms and type of candy.

Being able to pedal my bike around all day observing nature and geography.

nothing.

Playing with my toys. I used to have the best adventures.

To be absolutely honest, nothing. I hated not being allowed to have my own opinions and, if I did try to express my thoughts on any matter, being told that my opinion didn't matter because I was "just a child".

Who I miss is a different matter. I'd love to catch up with my best childhood friend Natasha, but when we were nine she moved to a village five miles away - and when you're nine, that's pretty much the same thing as moving to Saturn. We never saw one another again, and I'd love to hear how her life panned out.

I would say something novel like not having depression or something like that. But I’ve been depressed the majority of my life.

So I’d have to say actually believing that everyone is treated equally. That naive-ness that all of our childhood friends would be friends forever and things like society and our parents’ beliefs wouldn’t come between us.

Not worrying about things. Like just being happy with the day. I saw a little boy at my barber and he walked in and just shouted “I have a banana, I like Spider-Man .” Those two things were what was on his mind and he could just tell everyone in the room with a smile on his face. I miss that level of optimism and happiness.

Not having to worry about adulthood. Oh, and building snowforts and sleding.

That I could eat anything I wanted and not gain a pound.