Sometimes, in an effort to make a theological point, Christians just hand a mic over to Twitter so everyone can do a collective drop. So let’s all thank Creationist Eric Hovind.
Twitter was quick to explain what a relationship with a Jesus-like wife would look like. To paraphrase some of them…
She would leave and never come back.
I would nail her regularly.
The frequency of sex wouldn’t change.
I would be single.
She would always assume I know what she’s talking about.
I would get a divorce quickly.
She would always want credit for the things I did.
She would never shut up about her daddy.
I would constantly wonder about her guy friends.
What else have you got, readers?
She'd be my ex, and I'd be wondering what I ever saw in her.
She would serve a lot of fish and bread.
The wine would be watery.