You should be comfortable with who you are with. I have gay friends, but I'm straight does the fact that I won't date my gay friends make me prejudiced? Does it mean I'm not open minded if I can't get past my biased attraction to women? Is it offensive to my straight friends for me to have friends who aren't?

I don't see your situation as being any different. Do what you need to to be happy.

Just because I'm poly doesn't mean I screw anything that slows down. The way I see it, your poly friend was trying to bully you into a relationship; your mono friend seems to believe all poly people are cheaters. Both are wrong.

As long as you are comfortable with who you are, and the friends you associate with, it doesn't matter what other think/believe.

Obviously the person who asked you out was not respecting your right to have preferences - the same right they have ! People CHOOSE to be offended, or not.

I'm ok with whatever harmless choices people make (along with the god thing), as long as they don't get all crazy because I'm not joining in !

Your friend responded to your refusal inappropriately. You were not judging him, only stating your preferences. You have every right to feel the way you do and no one should make you feel bad for it.

The guy that asked you out said you were prejudice in an attempt to shame you into thinking his way. Good for you shows you have a strong will. The mono friend was consol and also shamed you into making you think that you had made a mistake. Was no mistake on your part was a choice because you enjoyed the first ones company. People will ultimately try to manipulate and it takes common sense to see through it. To which you had done.

Both opinions/reactions expressed there seem whackadoodle to me.

It's all good if all parties aren't acting like assholes, and don't restrict your right to your own opinion or practice. Makes the world go round, you know?

Just live and let live for me .. I only tend to pick up on things if people are taking advantage . . otherwise communication is key.

I have many differing "types" of friends .. everything is pretty fluid in a sense and trust comes with communication.

Would not a simple
"No thank you"
have been enough?
If they insisted on a "Why?" you just say "I don't think of you in that way, we're friends."

Anything after that and they are being creepy and disrespectful, but if they accept it, end of problem.
You don't have to get in to a moral or philosophical arguement over this.

I’m with you, I completely respect people who can make poly relationship(s) work but I also know it’s not for me. I would have politely declined as well.

He asked why. You told him. He choose to get pissed off when he didn't get the answer he wanted. That is the risk you run when you ask. If he didn't want the answer he shouldn't have asked. You weren't rude or harsh, you answered his question. He is the one with the problem. As far as your mono friend, what is her problem. She might have poly friends that she doesn't even know about. They aren't hurting her or anyone else. She has no right to judge your friends, when she doesn't even know him. Two big babies.

In romance the journey can be a solid one or fluid. As long as those who are part of it know the rules.
I can't say whether I'd ever try a poly relationship myself, but I'd support those that do live that way.
However, we should accept with respect the lifestyles of one another, as long as that is between consenting adults.

oh my golly you guys and gals and various others, thanks a bunch. i try to be as open minded as i can, but both of those views just seemed so...idk... forceful and closeminded. i really do try to be cool with all sorts but that kinda made me uncomfortable in both situations. its nice to know i wasnt being as bad as they thought i was.

As long as a person isn't hurting anyone it's up to them who and how many people they fuck.

Be friends with who you want to.

Irrational but not offensive; people act, say, feel and think exactly what they are conditioned to by their interest group.- its what 'belonging is all about ' upholding the group psyche. There are conflicts everywhere that there are people who 'need' to hold biased views in order to stay with their group of comfort - Others of us who are used to not belonging, not fitting in easily, get to be freer but at a price too. Its just how humanity comes.

I've a couple of "poly" friends and don't judge them by it. I'd be angry if one of themverbally put me in a corner the way yours did. I quietly brushed a friend off. I don't hold it against him as he must have been remembering how wild we all were "back in the day", but no more for me.
Still love him to pieces, but platonic it is for us.

I totally agree with you. Same view.

You have the freedom to choose and to decide who and how to date and mate. No one should impose a lifestyle on you. Never feel guilty for making a Right decision. Never!

Not a lot of people live and let live.

You are right, both reactions are narrow views. You always can learn from someone who believes differenly than you, but you certainly don’t have to stick your head in the lions mouth just because you want to see a real lion at the zoo!

Sex in the west is overly taboo... period. What should it matter if consenting partners do whatever they'd like? Monogamy for humans and our closer primate relatives is an aberration; or perhaps better put, most individuals of these species practice "poly" sex at times; and there are substantive "arguments" (not to be too teleological here) for engaging in such behavior. Building of bonds, spreading ones genetic license....