Thanks for that Julie! I just signed up. Having some fun with it tonight. Lots of locals/ near locals. So far they ALL claim to be Christian.

I'd expect nothing less

@twill I seriously hope it works for you, man. I refuse to get a smartphone, so that probably shuts me out of using that app., right Julie? Anyway, I browsed the site, and the photos suggest it's pretty much for younger folks instead of my age group.

@TomMcGiverin I signed up. There are filters, age filters among them.

Could well be true, Dave, but I kind of doubt it. Non-believer, non-conformists, that most of us are, it usually takes a lot of luck and time to find compatible partners, esp. if you are older and no longer part of the usual networks that used to connect you to other singles: work, school, single friends, church. By our 60s, most of us don't have any of those in our lives much, if any at all, as non-believers, so that pretty much leaves bars and dating sites. And, at least for me, the quality of singles in bars these days is pretty bad. Plus, I don't drink, and only visit bars for live music and to sing karaoke. And meeting people to date thru bars involves having some skills or game, as the kids call it, in selling yourself to women, etc., and by now I zero courage or confidence in doing that to some strange woman I meet there that may, for all I know, be really drunk, only friendly to me because she is loaded, as I, being a non-drinker who doesn't hang around with any heavy drinkers, am pretty clueless when some people are loaded. And even if the woman was friendly to me and it was the alcohol supplying the friendly vibe, I wouldn't be interested, as she likely is promiscuous, and may well be carrying STIs.

The book I'm reading about the history of seeking love in America, quoted a 2019 Stanford U. study that found that out of hetero couples, 39% met thru dating sites or dating apps, 27% thru bars or restaurants, 20% thru friends (and probably mainly or exclusively other single friends-most of us older folks have only married friends who don't know any singles), and 11% thru work. That leaves 3% misc. sources, most likely chance encounters at public or private events, public facilities, transportation encounters, etc.

It would be really interesting to see either a study of how hetero couple met that was either exclusively people in their 60s and 70s when they met, or some other kind of study that teased out how the methods of meeting, as general trends, differ according to the age of the singles when they met. I bet as people get older, say 50s or older, church and dating sites become an even higher % of cases for how people met. So that pretty well leaves me with just the 39% dating sites option.

@Seeker55 lol. A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure & a watermelon for ecstasy is not in your purview then.

Is that what you do Julie?

Almost all the women in my whole state of Iowa are level 2 or less, because they quickly saw it was not a dating site for them, at least not with any local options for that, so they soon left rather than participate in the site and move up in levels. And I did try spreading the word about this site after I joined, mentioning it to people at the local Unitarian church and also talking it up to everyone a few years ago at the annual Pride Festival booth for the Iowa Atheists and Freethinkers group, but nobody from either group ever joined here. So, you can lead a horse to water, but.........

Many are free...they Harangue you to buy their "premium" services, which get you Zip, Zero, Nada.
For example, Plenty of Fish, been on & off for almost 8 years, never paid a dime! And in my experience far less married asshats than any other site I have tried, paid or not.

@AnneWimsey True but not all sites are like that. Also, because some may feel they didn't get what they wanted, they feel the need to criticize the sites. Many have found a viable partner through these sites including my sister. These sites help people to meet. From there the rest is up to the individuals. I met my late partner from a referral from my brother-in-law. We spent two months on the phone before we finally met. Even after that it took another 8 months before we decided it was right, and it was. It also took a lot of work for both of us.

@Seeker55 That seems to be the case with most people. One should ask themselves just how bad do they want a relationship.That, in turn, depends on ones previous experiences with relationships.

That is really surprising, since that region is so less religious than the Midwest or the South, so you would think that Agnostic.com would have a decent number of compatible non-believing men for you to connect with. I am sorry to hear that. As far as compatible women in my age group, I searched the Nearby Members list from your profile page, and found only one woman with a 50% or more compatibility rating that was still active on the site, so, if the men are anything like the women on Agnostic for that region, you're right, the cupboard is pretty bare....

I belong to a couple of dating sites as well, and the situation is frustratingly similar. I'm beginning to wonder if COVID has taken a lot of the eligible guys in my age group (hope not)! Anyhow men my age or slightly older seem to be looking for much younger partners, and finding slim pickings there, too. I'm looking for an intelligent conversation first, then ??????

@Organist1 Gail, I really think the problem is nothing about you personally, just that, like me, you are a poor match for your particular local dating pool, whether it's here on Agnostic, or a regular paid site like Match. We misfits just don't mesh with the mainstream culture and lifestyle, in most cases, of the majority of singles our age in those local dating pools, on any site. And you are also right about many, if not most men in our age group. Personally, I think they are wasting their time by always chasing younger women on dating sites who, realistically, are never going to want them, unless the man is very financially well-off or good-looking. And anyway, in that first one, that is really more of a business transactional relationship, which none of us here want anyway.

I have heard plenty of stories on here and from women on Match that so many men in their 60s or early 70s are not wanting to date anyone their own age, or esp. anyone even a few years older, still chasing younger women in vain, unless they are just wanting sex from women their own age or a little older as a casual, temporary thing, on the assumption that women in that age range are desperate and lonely, waiting to be used and discarded.

Sad for everyone. I do get plenty of offers, but from men I would never consider dating, because of lack of education, or poor physical condition. I have met two I really like, but they live thousands of miles away, and the prospect of a meaningful relationship out of that is slim, although I still correspond with them.

@Organist1 Same with me, in my years here on Agnostic, I have made several female friends that I would love to try dating if they lived in my area, and vice versa, but neither of us, in each case, are really that interested or willing to try dating hundreds or more miles apart. with the odds of LD dating succeeding being so slim. Realistically, dating needs to be 100 miles or less apart to begin with. and even then, only if early on there is a clear and mutually agreeable plan for one of the parties to eventually move to where the other lives, even if it's not living together.

Your reasons for rejecting me, totally appropriate and reasonable as they are, are quite different than what keeps squashing me in my dating pool, maybe because you are more open-minded and less rigid than women in my dating pool. My physical condition is fair to good for my age, and my education level is high, but my rejection by women is mostly about cultural and lifestyle traits the women are so rigid and picky about. They only want family men with kids, men who drink moderately or more, and men who are religious, like them. It's funny how your standards are so different and so less narrow than theirs.

@TomMcGiverin That strikes me as sad and rather peculiar that a woman would want someone who drinks. I feel like I've spent a.good portion of my life trying to avoid men like that. And religion...no way! If I see "Christian "on a dating profile, I hit the X. From the perspective of an "older" woman, I can say that the fun is just beginning for someone with an open mind an a ton of curiosity. I'm retired, so I can travel now. My son is grown and on his own.I even have an ex -husband who is willing to dog sit. You are right, though, about people being picky. I think it's not just women. I had a lovely adventure in Iceland a few months ago with someone I met online. Because both of us are financially independent, we split everything 50/50. He was worried that I would find him too "grumpy". I just kept him laughing. At this stage of my life, a traveling companion is a nice thing to have. Maybe I should sell my house and buy a camper, lol!

@Organist1 Thanks for your perspective. I need to hear from women that are not so picky, narrow-minded and traditional like all the farmer's daughter types that dominate my dating pool. Most of them would never accept a man who wants to split expenses evenly from the beginning of dating, etc. They still expect the man to pay everything from the first meeting on, at least for a while, or else they feel he is either too cheap for them, doesn't appreciate them as important or is not romantic enough, etc. and all other kinds of reasons to reject him as not having the right chemistry or any physical attraction for him as he is "treating them too much like a friend". I think their attitude is bullshit, since all of them seem to have as much money as me and have their own money to spend. I won't play their games or jump thru all their hoops. Your new guy sounds like a man after my own heart. He sounds like a cool, honest, down to earth guy. I hope it works out for you both.

I think the key is to find someone as open-minded as we are, but they are few and far between, at least on paid dating sites, in places like Iowa, where conformity and acceptance is everything to most people who grew up here.

@TomMcGiverin I guess I value my independence more than anything. I come from a long line of autonomous women! Unfortunately, the man I went to Iceland with is an American ex-pat living in Mexico. We probably won't get together again soon, unless he wants to travel, and he is now building a house in Mexico...2600 miles away. :,( Open-mindedness is indeed a rare commodity, which may be more common among us old hippie types. We are a dying breed. Everything you are saying about the women you encounter I could also say about most men in my area. I often wonder what makes them so shut off and unreachable. I guess I've learned to spot them from a distance and move on. I wish you good luck finding an open mind!

@Organist1 You've got it, Gail. We need partners who are independent and open-minded, and in my dating pool most of the women are so family-oriented, as they call it, that they would never think of being independent or balanced in their relationships with their families, much less with their partner. So I simply don't fit in with the mainstream lifestyle and culture of most women in my dating pool. The men here are likely, as you say, of the same mentality as the women, but I can only guess on that.

It should also be noted that some are willing to engage in a short or even long term relationship. A loving, committed relationship could be one of the most important things in a persons life and people should be willing to make sacrifices to those ends. Have done that and been there several times.

I think I should also have added that instead of looking for a 'committed' relationship perhaps it would be better to just look for a friend. I have known several couples that were friends and two actually were married to others. One partner died and then the partner of the other friend died and they got together and it worked. Friendship also reduces any tension on making the right moves to try and impress another. Last summer an older woman showed up at a garden work party and we hit it off. She had been married her whole life and her husband had died. She moved in with a daughter and son-in-law on Lopez. We both agreed on it being just a friendship and it has turned into a great one but, unfortunately, she caught Covid while in Seattle (her daughter as well). She had an underlying condition and was pretty much bedridden at home for 7 weeks (her daughter had few problems and they did not pass it on to the son-in-law). She is just now able to go for short walks. I miss our walks and hope they will resume soon.

@Seeker55

On your profile, let women know you live in North Carolina. All it says is "Greensboro."

@Seeker55 Glad you took it as I meant it, which was not being harsh, just honest and realistic with a touch of humor.

I have been on the site over 4 years and many of the women on when I joined are still active.

@JackPedigo thank you for noticing!!!!!!

@AnneWimsey Oh I have noticed! Quite a few of these women and I have become pen pals including Ruth who left the site a few months ago.

@JackPedigo it's a matter of who's watching who?
IDK! I can easily name five that were within one/ two hours of me that have disappeared.

And two hours apart here, on Agnostic.com, is pretty damn close

@AnneWimsey sorry but as far as dating goes, I'm not taking notes on women from across the country ! Three hours is too far!!!

I just had a relationship end. 45 minutes apart. I don't think I could consider going any farther

@twill Try living on an island. Two hours might you to the mainland (actually, it's another island but at least there's a bridge).

@twill My regular distance limit is 55 miles away. If I have to drive more than an hour to meet them, I consider it LD dating, which never allows for anything spontaneous as far as getting together, and that is a minus.

There several couples that have resulted from meets on this site. Most women here seem to only love conditionally & asexually.

And certainly do not prioritise finding a partner.
Some even seem to think that they are still virgins.