I have multiple partners personally. I'm in a polyamorous relationship (s). I have 3 partners. My husband, our bf, and my GF. Our bf has a husband, so does my gf. We are all friends.

The moment much is being hidden I would be out. Open and honest communication is important.

I will also add, we started dating and discussed nonmonogamy. If we lost out partners, we would be fine. Sad, of course, but our relationship would survive. No sex isn't a thing for us.

As an "old school" kind of guy, I'd ask:
Why are you dating a married man?
Is that not asking for a lot of drama?

As an "old school" kind of guy, I'd ask:
Why are you dating a married man?
Is that not asking for a lot of drama?

This last line here: "In the end, I had to wonder if what these men couldn’t face was something else altogether: hearing why their wives no longer wanted to have sex with them. It’s much easier, after all, to set up an account on Tinder."

Just an observation that a lot of women who withhold are maxed out and or angry about something or both. They're tired of voicing an issue(s) only to feel unheard and begin bottling up resentment which manifests into no sex. Not all, but a lot. Women resent men who turn them into nags.

So, for some guys it's easier to just go fuck something else than deal with the issue at hand.

My ideas about relationships and monogamy have changed throughout the years. What works for some doesn't necessarily work for others. I am all for having happy, healthy, honest relationships whether those are monogramous or polyamorous or some form in between...

To me honesty and trust is more important than physical friction. So if nobody gets hurt, it's all good. Having said that, I believe there is much value in monogamous cohabitation, mainly that you get a daily lesson in humility. You also get the opportunity to practice patience, cooperation as well as non-violent resistance, if necessary.