Uuuuuhhh threesomes are great !!!!.... I have been told....

We don't...well, I don't. I don't think many people here do. My wife and I have been, and will continue to be (taking a break atm) swingers and we love the lifestyle. As long as you and your partner(s) are in a mutually agreeable relationship and no one is being cooerced or forced and as long as everyone involved are willing parties to it, I say the more the merrier (safely, of course).

Polygamy is more natural than monogamy. It's also not cheating when you're both consensual polygamous. I prefer monogamy personally, but I still acknowledge that it's unnatural compared to polygamy.

There is no more reason to believe monogamy is a righteous necessity than god is. No evidence to support this dogma. So far as I can tell, all its good for is raising children. If you don’t want kids, already had kids... it doesn’t serve much purpose. I think it’s just to create a stable environment for progeny. The more base needs are provided for by other social structures, the less relevant monogamy becomes. This is the real reason for the erosion of marriage. It isn’t because society lacks values, it’s because the institution has less and less useful function in modern culture.

Love isn't possessive - people are.
. Aside from what actually does love mean.

I suppose there are successful open relationships and friendly divorces, I don't personally know of any. I try not to judge. I cheated once after two years of marriage and thought I loved both. My wife would not tolerate it and I chose to stay with her. We were neither religious. She took me back but never truly forgave my indiscretion. We remained married for another 50 years until her death last year and I have lost my "other half". There are benefits to long term fidelity; for ourselves, our family and for society as a whole.

I don't know that fidelity is a "religious dogma". Perhaps some cultures force the suppression of jealousies that are part of the human condition. I suspect that these same problems, insecurities and jealousies exist in open relationships and in polygamous societies. Consider the "machismo" cultures in which a wife must tolerate "la otra" while her infidelity is justification for murder; Catholic societies all, yet not condoned by the Church. Certainly divorce is hard on children and generally a financial disaster for the wife.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Something in your personal life that sparks such vigorous protest?

We, the common people, only accept it because most don't have the resources. At the top of societies the rules are very different. And there are marked differences between different cultures. Perhaps there are also ethnic differences in female libido. The marital shell is a convenient shopfront. Interestingly enough there are several jurisdictions that allow polygyny but apparently there is none allowing polyandry. Weird world ...

I guess it depends on an individual situation. My girlfriend would regularly cheat on me ... with her husband.

Even secular western societies are largely monogamous (or at least serially monogamous). Monogamy came out of concerns about conserving property, and determining who fathered each child for the purposes of passing down that property. When you toss out that notion as nonsensical, especially since we have perfectly reliable ways of determining paternity now if we are concerned about it, there's no reason to buy into the monogamous mindset.

There is, though, a need to determine what you do believe or want once you've tossed that. Do you want to stay in a committed dyad, but with the option for either of you to have sex with others? (An open relationship.) What about limiting that outside sex to specific circumstances that you explore together? (Swinging.) Would you prefer being your own most significant other and building sexual/romantic relationships of varying intensity? (Solo polyamory). I could go on and on.

In the end, it only matters that you be ethical and loving, and that you establish healthy boundaries and encourage any partners to do the same.

It's very possible to love more than one person at a time, in often very different ways.

Could someone only love one of their children at a time? Why should it be any different to the way we love our romantic partners, friends, family.

When it comes to attraction, that's not something we can exert too much influence on. We can decide how we act on that attraction however.

I also have no issues with polyamorous or open relationships as long as all parties are in agreement. In our friendships we get different things from different people (e.g. one friend who is a great listener, one who is full of fun, one who is great at being the sensible one). Maybe physical or sensual relationships can be the same?

I have come to feel that there is not "just one person" for each of us, and I think it highly unlikely that any "one person" can fill all of anyone's needs. That's why we seek friends, relationships, community. We seek out others to help fulfill our individual needs, and part of my needs is my reasoning that "I need to be needed." Any -- and every -- relationship is based on our hope that the other party will somehow help fill some need in our lives. If in seeking to fulfill those needs, one breaks a promise or 'cheats' then it becomes a problem, so in that case it could be "wrong".

I have been in more than 1 relationship with 2 women at the same time and the 3 of us dated together and shared the same bed I enjoyed it and so did they but I have never had a relationship last more than 7 years so I would never have a monogamous relationship

In my experience, 'forever' only lasts about eight years, anyway...

To me it has absolutely nothing to do with Religion. I believe that we are all searching for what can only be described as a 'soulmate' we have multiple relationships purely in the hope that we shall find them somewhere, someday!

I was in an open relationship with my wife for 11 years. If she hadn't got so messed up on drugs and alcohol we might still be married. We are still friends, and have been divorced for 18 years

That's a pretty tough question, especially since there is no objective right, or wrong. We all have our own morality and can only judge right and wrong based on that. Having said that, the heart wants what the heart wants. It would be so much easier if we could simply choose who we love, but in my experiences, that's not how it works. However in my opinion, this notion of loving 2 different people at the same time is totally fine, as long as the others are ok with it as well. If 1 of the partners loves you, and only you, it would seem unfair to him that you just get to leave when his time is up, and go be physical with another person. Unless he already knew what he was getting into when he started the relationship, then that's on him. Other than that, I see no moral objections to following what your heart is telling you, as long as it doesnt intentionally hurt others. So if that's the case, more power to you!

Is it wrong to love?
Is love selfish?
I wonder where it comes from?
Thou shalt have no other gods before me?
I can't have a relationship, because I can't turn my back on some close female friends who need my help from time to time, these needs can last days, sometimes weeks and at one stage 3 years. As we get older we need more help. A broken hip, support through serious illness.
A selfish love does not permit this.

Religion just steal and borrows from other sources. Marriage was around way before the old testament aka Tora. Many cultures have different views on marriage.
Love who you want just be honest about it with your partner(s).

People get hung up on convention & blindly following the norms. It's nice thumbing my nose at all of that and finally being able to evolve 'me' in peace. Love poly & open.

GGirl, 35 years ago, no one had heard of polyamory or hall passes. The idea was ONE FOREVER. If I had to do it all over, I'd have stay single, or gone in with the idea that an occasional side piece was ok

On the other hand I dislike when polys don't respect my inclination for monogamy.

I don’t think anything’s forever, but if you can’t trust the person your with, then don’t stay in the relationship. If you feel that you need something else, go to your partner, be honest and move on. No one seems to have the balls to be just honest.

It's not wrong to love more than one person at the same time, but it is wrong to cheat -- and by that I mean being involved with more than one person when you're supposedly exclusive to at least one of them.

Some people can share sexually and/or romantically, some people can't. Everyones needs are different and there's nothing wrong with that. We do need to be honest with one another tho, if for no other reason than it makes life easier, and we particularly need to be honest about things that have a strong emotional impact.

So yes, it's preferable to be honest immediately about your own needs but you'll have to accept that in a society that at least gives a lot of lip service to the value of monogamy that will be limiting your dating pool.

My ex always told me that many in Africa believe in many wives or many husbands. A polyamorous approach. My religious friend has been married twice and he is glad that his god finally picked the right one for him. I always told my ex that we were much the same on marriage belief in America. The big difference is that we can only have one partner at a time and not have them all at once.

No I don't. I see nothing wrong with pligomy. I would like 2 wived and a husband.