Go outside right before dawn and find you a spot with a good view of where the sun will rise. Watch the first rays peak over the horizon and watch how the clouds appear to catch fire in the most beautiful of ways. And know that despite how agonizing it may be that someone so close could have hurt you like that, there's always another day, and another sun rise, and another chance to find someone else that will be far more willing to love you more than some silly belief system. That's all the advice I can think of to give you man.

I divorced last year, and my transition to atheism contributed in many ways. I think that, for me, knowing that we had less and less in common as we were growing in opposite directions, gives me some sense of resolution. HOW my ex left was painful, but now it's easier. Time helps. Logic doesn't start helping until some time passes... sorry, but perhaps your growing differences make moving on a better choice-still doesn't feel good right now, but, you'll feel better over time.

Without knowing enough of the back story, I’d suggest the following actions first:

1. Fight for her! Remind her that above all else, being with her makes the most sense. Be the man she fell in love with. Ask her out on a date. At least if it ends in divorce, you’ll know you didn’t give up on the love of your life.

2. Show interest in things she’s interested in, even
   if you personally disagree with them; this may help her remember how important she is to you;

3. Talk to her, not at her, or about her

4. “Remind” her of what it’s like to “enjoy” your company; with your actions

5. Don’t be disappointed, and don’t give up if reciprocation doesn’t happen right away

6. See if she would consider marital counseling

Best wishes

I have now been seperated for over one year. I lost my mate to God, actually, so I can relate. (chuckle) Anyone who tells you there is an easy way through the pain is a liar. You must bloodlet and allow it to seep out of you. Eventually, you will see, it gets easier, better... and like one astute member so kindly advised you: You will love again. I prefer to wait awhile longer before I jump into the sea filled with fish. I remain single by choice, not by force. Finding a way to reopen yourself up again to the thought of trying once more is honestly the best thing you can do at this point. And patience. Practice patience. You may never understand her point of view, but you can do something to make this easier on yourself: let go. Good luck sir and godspeed. (irony i know.)

am i missing something? what is wrong with new age

If you want to get her back, introduce her to some James Randi videos on youtube. lol

People change and so do relationships. If you can't handle the change I would suggest talking to friends or family, and in the absence of those that will listen, a counselor.

That is rough. I can relate, but not to the extent of 15 years.
I had a great woman who treated me like a king, held me in high esteem, had tons of compassion, empathy, and she was a cute little nerd. Though when we met we were about the same spiritually, she ended up going back to her roots, and the current religion of her parents (Catholicism).
I could see it coming. At first, she wanted to be engaged in the local community. Then she started going every Sunday. Then conversations started drawing comparisons between her and myself.
She would often say, "I want someone with the same morals". -We had the same morals. There was nothing I did or said that was any different from what she would do.
Religion has a way of creating segregation between groups of people.
Those who are not like you are seen as not being compatible. The insidious thing about christian religions is their link to one's immortal soul with doing what the church commands, and being surround by "peers".
But people chose belief over rational-thought for many reasons: because it's easier, because they want to belong to something greater than themselves, because they want to be accepted by certain people, because they want to be seen as good, etc, etc.

It's one of those things that just breaks your heart into tiny pieces. I'm sorry you're going through that.
I lost someone after 3 1/2 years. And she was like my best friend.
It definitely made me bitter about religion in general.
But, you have to keep in mind that people have free will, and this is what they chose for themselves.
The only thing you can really do is convey to them the pain they are causing you.
And if they ignore it, then they're obviously not the sort of person who deserves to be around you.

I hope that she realizes her lost before is too late.

You are already on the right track psychologically with reframing her.

It will take time to get over how much it hurts, and the best thing you can do for your next relationship is to actually take the time to work out what went wrong for yourself because no one will be able to understand all the dynamics of the relationship you had with her.

Read books, see a counselor, find a way to be thankful for what you learned not to do again from her, find yourself again, and only drink alcohol if you want to increase symptoms of depression.

Sounds to me like a visit to a doctor (physical and/or mental) was called for.

Find a new woman! She left for that, she wasn't worth your time in the first place!

Thanks for all the great advice and support guys. Really. It means a lot.
A little more about what happened:

• February of 2016 she got back into the gym after having our second child 2 years earlier. I was supportive.
• a few months later, she got a personal trainer...a female body builder. I was supportive.
• fall of 2016, she pulled away emotionally/physically and spent way too much time in the gym and started taking tons of supplements. I was not as supportive based on her pulling away and spending less time with our family.
• spring of 2017...and this is where she and I really hit a rift. She says she had a "Kundalini Spiritual Awakening" after meditating.
• everything steamroll from there. Crystals, chakras, and the Twin Flame thing, which was devastating to me.
• she told me some random 20 something guy at the gym transferred "spiritual energy" to her during a handshake and now he is her Twin Flame. She's seen the guy at the gym twice since. But not in months.
• she now believes she is a Blue Ray Twin Flame, is clairvoyant and is living in the 5th dimension (while we normal folk live in just the 3rd)
• she hears and speaks with angels, and of course her twin flame, during meditation
• decided to shed her old life to pursue her "truth" by leaving her husband of 15 years (together for 20) and now only sees her two young children (3,6) every other week
• sold our nice house and moved into separate ones nearby

If you can't find it in your heart to love her regardless of her beliefs then it sounds like you both might be better off apart.

I am so very sorry. I'm sure this must be very distressing and painful.

To be clear, I'd like to ask: The two of you now find yourselves apparently incompatible for religious/philosophical reasons, but is there then no hope of working around these new differences? Based on your post, it sounds as if it is far too late for that, and/or one or both of you can't see any way to accommodate. It sounds heart-wrenching.

I ask the above questions partly because I was married to a Christian for 19 years, and it wasn't her Christianity that wrecked the marriage, but other things entirely. Indeed, if she'd been more of a Christian in certain respects, we would have done much better, weirdly enough .... Of course, my situation was radically different from yours - she was already a Christian, I already an atheist going into the marriage.

In any case, my heart goes out to you.

Find things to do, she found a new path, time to find yours

thats a hard one to take seriously [that psychic shit] but... if i were you man id just let her dig the crystals

People do evolve in different ways... I moved to atheism and at this point have no intention of moving any other direction. I'm sorry you are losing her. It sounds as though you loved her. All I can say is to think of you... what can you do to fill time, get some pleasure from life and find peace? Find things to do and people who value what you value... you might find another partner and you may not, but you will find like minded beings with whom you can connect.

Anthony, I don't know what the status of this post is -- if you're still separated, still divorcing, etc.

No matter what happened, breakups are painful. And, after 20 years together, I'm sure it has been hell finding a new normal.

I disagree with the many comments suggesting she didn't love you, loved her new interests more, and on and on. I believe that people sometimes just change. They grow, they see things differently than they used to, society shapes their thinking, they read, they see a therapist, they get in touch with their own psyches, they mature, they might become selfish, develop personality or mental disorders, realize after all that they are unfulfilled, etc. It happens. That's one reason I personally don't advocate anybody marrying before the age of 30 -- sew those wild oats, live alone, have fun, really get to know yourself and others before making that decision. Was she young or both of you young when you started dating?

I don't agree with demonizing somebody based solely on their decision to leave a relationship -- even if it is for "spiritual" reasons or differences. Yes, of course, I believe that people should give it their all and try and try again when they have commited - and especially when they have children. I hope you don't misconstrue what I'm saying. I'm just saying as much as it freaking hurts and as confusing as it is, I would bet that none of it was done with the intention of hurting you or the kids. Life just happens -- and not always the way we want it to happen. Doesn't mean she is a bad person. (As to seizures, etc. being possible cause for her sudden changes, I'm clueless on that.)

Let her go. If she is meant to be in your life she will be but it's not fair and unrealistic for you to wait. Get on with your life like she's already doing with hers.

People change the way they feel about many things in life for as many reasons as there are things to consider...in consideration of that...what is it that you have to be greatful for...it could be those things that will help you move toward what really makes you happy or change the way you feel about the things that other people do...it's all one can really do to determine the way they feel or how they cope with any given situation