Don’t you find a harem of untold carnal pleasures just a little inconsistent with a supreme being promoting moral integrity?

Carpel tunnel syndrome

You get kicked out of your mum's basement and told to "get a life"

I am sure, at some point you will be rapchered. Be careful what you wish for.

Ummmm a million and one ?

I am motivated to get to level seven.

I am motivated to get to level seven.

The simulation ends...

Your Tongue fell out.

Deification within the agnostic community.

The sun becomes a red giant, expands and consumes the Earth. After that ... nothing important to members will happen.

Yell out Bingo.

I wrote this guide for new users a few months ago...

Level 1 - nothing.
Level 2 - trusted with basic menial tasks such as sweeping the website floor.
Level 3 - trusted to perform more complex tasks such as make coffee for higher levels. Exceptionally gifted Level 3s may also be trusted to do the grocery shopping.
Level 4 - May use the bathroom on the floor below the Executive Suite and Penthouses.
Level 5 - Permitted to make use of vehicles from the Agnostic.com fleet, though not the Rolls-Royces which are reserved for Level 6 and up.
Level 6 - Full access to the Executive Suite. All travel expenses paid without question.
Level 7 - Permitted to use the private bar. From Level 7.8 upwards, may participate in weekly orgies.
Level 8 - Access to official helicopters and Gulfstream jets. May decide on fitting punishments for lower level users who have committed minor transgressions.
Level 9 - Largely ceremonial duties, including presiding over initiations. May decide on fitting punishments for lower level users who have committed major transgressions, up to and including public flogging and execution. Given luxury office and penthouse, with pet lemur.
Level 10 - Considered too exhausted to be of further use; forcibly retired and turned loose in the forest.

(Incidentally, nobody has yet managed to amass a million points and thus reach Level 10!)

Satori.

You are transported to an alternate reality where logic and reason rule the universe.

You get raptured. That's the joke.

...actually, we'll never want to see you again

The rapture? Who knows?