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I’m new. I guess I was looking for someone like me. I feel like I am continually judged for not being religious. I am single and feel like due to the fact that I am a non believer my pool of men significantly shrinks. A very attractive man was interested in me and than he wasn’t because I am not Christian. If they are supposed to be loving and forgiving why do I feel outcasted and shut out for not believing what they do. I feel outnumbered sometimes and I just want to cry. It makes no sense to me that I can be a really good person but being less excepted than someone whose a child molester Christian but they have repented. I am sick with the hypocrisy. I feel alone.

etruji29 5 Dec 10
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32 comments

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2

You're not alone. You seem to be doing exactly what intelligent human beings are meant to do. You feel and you question. Not surprisingly there are few real answers to life's deepest questions, so then, feel positive in yourself and your abilities. It works.

2

Some people can't accept what they don't understand and some people reject because we do understand. I'm new here too so I hope we're in the right place with the right people. I have literally two Christian friends, one is a biker and the other a recovering crack head. They both have been tolerant of me as a non-believer. The rest of them judge. It nice to meet you and I hope for mutual support.

2

The higher is IQ, the less is religiouse. Be proud being among minority.

1

But when you meet that one like minded person, it could be magic !!!
Better to wait than settle !

1

If someone does not accept you for who you are because you do not share or conform to their beliefs you do not need such a person in your life. If someone puts their beliefs (words and concepts) before all else then he or she is living in a dream and not the real world...

1

I agree. I am a recently converted from pentecostal to whatever I am now. I have never been the judge type. I am 56, but very open minded.

1

No, definitely not alone. Where I live. There is literally no one who cares. Making friends is very difficult. We are definitely outnumbered. Christians are a strange group indeed. You can't even be friends with them because of how they act out their religious beliefs. Strangely enough I have a few close friends and they are Wiccan. They feel outcast as well so there is some common ground there.
We may be outnumbered, however you do not stand alone.

1

Stick with being a good, kind person. You will come out well in the end. Henceforth, you have friends herein. The percentage of people who are agnostic is staggering. Rational people don't go to church for the sake of doctrine and creed. They go for friendship. Say, how do you post a picture on this site? I have some on facebook I could transfer over.

1

you are not alone. Welcome!

I myself am new here - but I've already been made to feel right at home.

Here if I can ever be of help, service, or friendship!

1

Yup raised Catholic like you etruji29 and probably the same similar upbringing but I feel like there is a low or no tolerance or judgment even when people ask whats your religion

1

Unfortunately, yours is a common experience. I try to broach the subject very early, and that often means a seeming acceptance, followed by an invitation to church, as though going to the right church with the right woman will magically make me Christian.
Keep being openly atheist, though. There are atheists our there, and they feel the same pressures you do.

I feel no pressure from religious people I very seldom talk about religion.. maybe that is why because there is so many other things to talk about it just never comes up in the conversation.or maybe over the years I've developed a technique to avoid I'm not sure.

@etruji29 Maybe yoneed to hang out with different people and changer interests that don't involve religion. So much more in this world.

@dc65 It's not about wanting to chat about religion, but about dating someone compatible. A religious person, especially adherents to certain Christian sects, will likely worry for the soul of an atheist partner, which brings extra tension to a relationship. Getting that conversation out of the way before people are overly attached helps.

1

Hey another free thinker in my town hows it going? oops typo on earlier post

1

Don’t feel alone. There are many of us that feel the same way. Religion is toxic and I’m glad you got away from it to live the life you want. You are a very attractive lady. I’m sure you will find you a good non-believer man one day.

1

Welcome to the site, etruji29. I think you'll find that there are more and more secular people out now, but might be a little hidden. This site, as it grows, may provide you with more social options. Good luck to you. 🙂

1

Many people cling to the beliefs that were handed to them by their family or social group. If he insists on being a judgemental asshole, it's a reality that you'll have to accept. You're better off without him.

1

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m single and hate it. Girls don’t like me cause of my autism and don’t quite understand it. I’m not Christian either. You’re not alone. People don’t understand my beliefs and everyone in my city is either conservative or religious and I hate it.

1

You are definitely not alone. I live in Albuquerque and I can't tell you how many times I have been harassed by Christians because of the fact that I am not religious. Some of those people in my opinion take it too personally when they see that we are not like them but if they really wanted to be Christian, they wouldn't take it so personally and they would agree to disagree. And when it comes to average people, they recognize that good intentions matter more than what religion you are. 🙂

1

You aren't alone. No religion has a monopoly on goodness and worthiness like they think they do. For them religion is something that helps them sleep at night. For the rest of us, it takes self-awareness, mindfulness, tolerance, acceptance, many things. We have to work harder for our peace of mind, but what we do have is well-earned and lasts forever.

1

Pretty sure that guy was only a Christian out of convenience. Don't worry, when the time is right.

Mbee2 Level 2 Dec 11, 2017
1

Better to wait for someone you can really be comfortable wit h and connect too... coming on this site iis going to expand your pool of possible mates... Good luck

1

It's something very common on both sides of the spectrum which is something you'll just have to adapt to I imagine and it also has a lot to do with your geological location because you would think living in a college town there would be less religious people in the dating environment and seemingly not the case at all but sometimes Finding Love take some fishing and that's if you can get past the guys that just want sex....

0

My mom calls me "the guy who doesn't believe in anything." Haha.. I'm glad to meet here. I'm new as well to this bad-to-the-bone space.

0

I feel the exact same way, I have dated a few girls and my lack of belief led to them leaving. I decided not to tell this last girl I dated and things started off great, we got along really good, we were both really into each other. I met her family and things seemed almost perfect until I told her I was a non-believer! After that things started to go down hill until eventually she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Maybe some of us are just meant to be alone. That's probably when we're the strongest and most free so being alone isn't too bad. But I really want to find someone who I can share my life with and come home to and call my best friend...

0

It's a good start. There are a lot of communities online to help you meet like minded people.
It also depends where you live. I've noticed I am really lucky living in New Mexico. People are quite liberal here and they understand when you are not religious. But in general, I feel you. It is a bit hard to find other Atheists in public. It easier to find the groups around town.

0

Definitely not alone. It can be hard to be a freethinker, but no one ever said integrity was easy. Be true to yourself, and never settle for someone who can't respect that.

Liam Level 3 Jan 3, 2018
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