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Misogyny and Agnostic.com

Has anyone else noticed a high volume of misogyny in the remarks contained within threads here? I do note that mostly it comes from men of a certain age, but I also sadly notice that so few people (besides myself) call it out.

Cricket9 5 May 14
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21 comments

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8

I already have and I have noticed quite a lot in the Atheist community in general. Richard Dawkins et al have all been accused. I always decry sexism and mysogyny when I encounter it.

6

I see it. I just block them. It is not worth the time or energy of an argument to me. IF it is way off I flag them

6

I am in my 50s , female and a feminist---and also misogynistic. Mine are more subtle and are less than they used to be. I remember in my thirties pouring coffee -- eldest first but then the men next. It is difficult to pour coffee out of my preceived correct order. I was visiting with some women of my age and above ( at the American Atheist convention) and we talked about our own misogyny and our current and past relationships. My daughter is a third wave feminist and happy the my own issues have had less effect that it could have had. I do think it is my culture of my age group.

Very interesting.

We are all victims of patriarchal indoctrination and to some degree, internalized misogyny. I commend you for seeing your own conditioned responses; it takes great strength to do so.

4

I agree with you, transphobic stuff and toxic masculinity are all over this place.

4

I have noticed a lot of it in the "cheesy jokes" feed. I flagged one or two that were grossly inappropriate. but i just don't read the "cheesy" jokes much any more.

2

Honestly I have seen more misandristic comments than misogonous ones.It is no different than any type of prejudice and it all needs to stop. I call everyone out on any type of hate speech or bullying. I would not tolerate that attitude from a child so I sure will not ignore it from an adult. I say what I think and walk away from the person though so they cannot argue or defend their ignorance to anything but air. Online, I call them out and if they apologize I will accept it and thank them. If not, they are deleted. Bullies are not welcome in my world!

@MagRat Hating all men is not reverse anything it is prejudice plain and simple.

2

I personally haven't noticed excessive misogyny except from the kind of people who skew older and more "conservative".

Me, I'm glad people like that show their true colors instead of wasting our time. It's a big internet out there; they can have their space.

I'm curious as to the label of excessive. All misogyny is too much misogyny. Any misogyny is excessive as none of it is acceptable.

@Cricket9 I'd read the question as "does it seem that there tends to be more misogyny in these comments than comments tend to have?". There is a level I am used to seeing and when I find places with less than that it stands out as unusual.

Not saying it as "I expect this level of misogyny and want that because reasons" but simply that I'm answering that particular question.

2

That seems a little 'ageist' but i have noticed that too

It is absolutely NOT ageist to point out a factual observation. The men making these misogynistic remarks have their ages displayed and almost every one of them was beyond the age of 60.

@Donotbelieve I agree that there are definitely young misogynists out there, but the ones I run into on this site tend to skew a little older, plus they tend to skew towards an old fashioned style of misogyny like condescending jokes and casual dismissals and things like that.

1

I have not. But then I enjoy cringe humor. Not cringe behavior. Humor. If I had a real issue I would engage them with my expertise at evisceration...verbally. I have never reported any one. I have seen no advocates of rape, assault, murder, mass killings, kidnapping. No advocates of slavery or violence. Anger yes. Intolerance of ideas or alternate views. Yes. If & when I do I will make sure many become aware of it & will take them on gladly. "For evil to succeed all it takes is good people to do nothing." Bailing on the site is cowardly. But some people just are. Not made of the fighting spirit. One must pursue self care.

There is nothing humorous about misogyny, so you and I must be speaking of different things. As for your remark “Bailing on the site is cowardly” your judgments about what other people choose to do with their time are entirely superfluous.

1

Honestly I've seen less here than elsewhere, but could be the subjects I frequent. I also definitely don't read every comment. The internet makes me weary of comments.

1

Haven't really seen much. I've seen more classism than anything else.

0

Do you perceive the misogyny here as being greater - in volume or vehemence - than on any other dating/community site?

Some people unleash their inner arsehole the minute they can do so anonymously, some people here are in, or are fresh out of, crappy relationships.

I don't condone it, and if you want to call people on it, fair enough.

But I'm not sure why you're surprised by it...

So your basic position is I should expect it?

@Cricket9 My basic position is that it's a bad thing, and that hopefully most people see it as such.

You didn't answer my initial question though. Not that you're under any obligation to, of course.

Then again, I do have to confess that you slightly seem to be more interested in taking offence than in holding a conversation...

Whatever floats your boat, I guess...

0

Yes, I have noticed this. Instead of engaging/ wasting my energy arguing with these people I just use their comments as an opportunity to block. I'm also using threads like this to find more people to block and also find people to follow. I joined the Women's Empowerment group to try to filter in the good posts / like minded people. I have a couple of dozen people blocked so far and I do believe it has helped. I will only call shit out if I have the time and energy but honestly I'd rather just engage in positive stuff here.

0

@Cricket9 "Your response is a perfect example, since you asked."

Ahhh, you get triggered by reasonable questions. That is a clue.

I think it is you who does not understand the differences in conversation that you are objecting to.

And that you think you can complain but have no need to provide examples makes it very clear that you are only interested in complaining.

Let me help you understand the topic, since you clearly need it.

  1. The original post ASKED A QUESTION. If you have pertinent information in the form of an answer to the actual question, post it.

  2. Misogyny is not a difference in conversation. I’ll leave it at that as it is not incumbent upon me to expand your vocabulary.

  3. I am under zero obligation to do the emotional labor you seem to believe you are entitled to in this regard. Regardless of whether or not you classify my question as a complaint, if you seek an example of anything simply look for it in subsequent posts. Instead, you provided your own example by trying to make this post about something it’s not, i.e. educating you.

Oh and I think it’s cute how you included the word triggered. Really, it’s adorable; it tells me so much about you.

@Cricket9 You complain about nebulous stuff, and then refuse to provide any proof your complaints are well founded. And when asked, you respond just like many religionists that it is not your burden to demonstrate the validity of your claims.

The word, "misogyny" has many meanings. And the newer meanings are just too broad to provide any basic context. Hence my request that you provide examples.

And here again you do the same. It is somehow our responsibility to divine what you are unhappy about, and change our behavior so as not to trigger your inner hidden emotions.

Again: you started this by writing that others, particularly men, were making you feel bad.

Two ways to change that:
1 Provide reasonable proof that your complaints are justified
B Change how you feel

@Jacar You are clearly challenged intellectually. I ASKED A QUESTION BASED ON my OBSERVATIONS. You are being deliberately argumentative because you clearly have nothing else happening in your world to occupy you.

Misogyny is a clearly defined word.

No one has asked you to divine anything with regard to my feelings.

I am in no need of advice from the likes of you.

Your edification is not my responsibility. Only a misogynist would believe I have any obligation to educate him.

Blocking, in 3, 2, 1.

0

If you're talking about the people who hate Trump because he's a misogynist, yes...I know there are lots of people like that here. If you're talking about actual misogynist, no, I don't see that here. Perhaps you should look up the word misogyny: hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women, or prejudice against women.

I am entirely certain of what the word means. I am also entirely secure in my understanding of same. Further, I have encountered an astonishing level of misogyny here. Specifically, your response. You have attempted in your statement to 1. Explain that which I already know; 2. Invalidate my actual experience with your assessment; and 3. completely ignore the total definition which includes "ingrained prejudice against women.

Your response is classic misogyny in its components and also in the way you are portraying me as misguided.

Nice try.

0

You are not the first to have posted about this. So, Please provide examples so we men can learn how not to do what we are being told we are doing.

Obviously, as an old man, (an original feminist), who is currently living through the ongoing civil rights period, i should have been aware when i have read some of what the OP is writing about.

So, it must be that being a man-of-a-certain age, i am blinded by the influence of my gonads. (attempting to avoid "gender" triggering)

REALLY: show and tell will help.

Aaaannnd here we go...

  1. Your response is a perfect example, since you asked.
  2. I asked a question based on an observation I have made. Telling me I’m not the first is not a response to the question.
  3. Most important of all, I am not here to teach you and I am under no obligation to perform the emotional labor of mining through offensive posts seeking examples for your edification.
0

The only place I have noticed rampant poor taste is in the Memes Group and as per the Group Description, it is encouraged. Rough crowd in there, but I love it.

0

Haven't noticed it, but then the posts I usually go to would not lend themselves toward that type of stuff.

0

I haven't noticed. Perhaps you could cut and paste a few examples.

BD66 Level 8 May 14, 2018

Perhaps you could look more carefully at comments and stop asking someone else to do that emotional labor for you.

0

Whoa! I fall into the accused age group!
Do you have specific examples you'd care to share?

  1. Re-read the post; there is no "accused age group" there is a factual observation that the misogyny that THIS person has encountered on THIS site has all come from men over a certain age. As for examples? NO. The question was, "Has anyone else noticed..." Pay attention to responses that you see and look for those traits within them if you are interested in the topic; do not come here to ask me to do the emotional labor of mining offensive remarks for your convenience.
0

I wish that it struck me as less than normal. In other words, I haven't noticed very much. That doesn't say much for my experiences.

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