Things happen for a reason indeed..... usually the reason is Physics

Many times things happen to me because of poor choices.

I believe more in chaos than reason. So, I don’t see that there’s a plan of some sort, giving us what we didn’t know we needed. I also believe my actions have consequences. Every time my life falls apart, its been a result of actions, mine and others’. I’m like you, I man up, take responsibility, and try to choose better action/consequences for the future...as much as is possible. Chaos/change always causes angst, but afterwards it seems there’s at least a degree of healing and positivity.
Not sure I’ve articulated well enough, but there it is?.

I find the phrase cliché and annoying. The desperation of someone to find the good by willing it to be all part of a plan.

There are times that I want nothing more than to believe my suffering is for a reason, but it isn't. I used to think as long as the bad stuff kept happening to me, someone else would not suffer it. Nope. There's not a finite amount. There's plenty of suffering to go around.

Finding a purpose for something is great. Not least when you're finding a positive amongst the negative. However that's not to say there was any prior intent in delivering that purpose In fact to say that is to diminish the role you played in finding that purpose. Give yourself credit.

I rather embrace the chaos - sort of love it - anything can happen at any time and any place - great!

It's actually a part of our biological make-up to overcome adversity and solve problems. It is one of the reasons we have thrived so well as a species.

I understand how you could feel that way, but what really happened is you overcame adversity and found additional positive results. You hunted for 1 treasure and found 2. The credit is yours, not chance. Nice work!

I think karma operates at a micro level: you're nice to people and people are nice to you; you're crappy to people and people are crappy to you -- mostly. Beyond that, random chance is all you can expect.
The universe isn't out to get you (beyond the fact that most of it will kill you in a few seconds) and it isn't out to make you happy. You roll the dice and take your chances.

But not for the reason you want it to be.

There is cause and effect so everything happens for a reason but the reason does not convey a deeper meaning. I think when people say everything happens for a reason they mean that events have a personal meaning. Some do of course but the vast majority do not.

everything happens for a reason, just not some religion or special power.

Yes, 9 times out of 10, something bad happened because the person who said "things happen for a reason" did something stupid.

It's a fact of human nature that it is sometimes easier to accept a superstition than a doubtful reality. Seems to me that when things worked out well, you doubted your capacity to have brought about a positive outcome and would rather attribute that outcome to something else. If you already walk the longer road to reason, you will find the truth in the matter.

My wife uses this saying. I think it is a bit irrational. Things happen because of what went before, never because of what happens next.

I've never liked it. I used to believe it when I was young, but I always heard it when something devastating happened. I would look for the reason behind it, and find nothing. I think we can take life as it comes, and make the best of a bad situation, but there is no great plan in place that involves you wrecking your car, or your house burning down.

If you are an atheist, who was behind the reason? A bunch of different people? I guess there are reasons that people make the choices that they do and then those choices can impact others.

Things happen because you have the desire. You are seeing openings because YOU are trying to work it out. I notice this happens more with all typesof Artist, keep focusing

Woody Allen once said that 80 percent of success in life is just showing up. The other 20% is following up.
Cause and effect, you have to put yourself in the right place at the right time and then you have to follow through with whatever opportunity arises. Manning up as you put it is the follow through.

All events have causes so of course there were reasons why all these things happened.

Yes, things happen for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. But there’s no magic involved

That is also my experience. Don't know how it fits into the scheme of things but is certainly a pattern in my life. Its not necessary to appropriate God to the process, but the religious, in many cases, do.

Thanks for all the wonderful responses everyone. And a lot of you are right, sometimes I don't give myself enough credit!

Thanks for all the wonderful responses everyone. And a lot of you are right, sometimes I don't give myself enough credit!

If things happen for no reason, when it basically means that one's individual life is cut off from the greater system around it, but this is never, ever the case. That means that it's not really logical to think that things happen for no reason.

I do believe everything happens for a reason but we do not and cannot always know that reason. I. E. If I drop a rock while holding it, the rock will fall to the ground. If I fire a gun the bullet will travel in a straight line to the target. Now this last one poses a problem. Humans tend to claim they are holding the gun in such a way as to "aim" at the target. If so, why would they miss?

I've thrown in a variable to the "things happening for a reason" that we just cannot answer properly. This is when humans throw in an invisible god and start making things up. This is what most people do rather than admit that "they do not know" something.

We create our own destiny.