Physical attractiveness becomes less important when a personality is attractive.

Beauty it's in the eye of the beholder right ?
I'm more interested in the kind of person that you are.

Saw my wife for the first time walking through the door in chemistry and I said to my partner I am going to marry her and did 59 years ago.

A smile is the biggest attraction for me.

I've been evolving away from looking for the physically beautiful. Now I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say I'm not still attracted to a looker. But no amount of beauty can hide an ugly character...or ignorance or stupidity. And many times, once I get to know a guy, his personality and character make me attracted to him. But...you gotta be clean. Take a shower. Trim and comb your hair. Wash your damn clothes. Brush your teeth. Don't be nasty.

This mirrors my own thoughts and I have thought on this often.
I am way out of shape, and it is bad now as I am also going grey.
I have only had 4 actual "relationships" in my life. The first three ladies I had known well for between 18 months and 16 years before we ever dated so it was not an instant physical attraction. The 4th lady I met via a dating site and thought instantly, not my type, too flashy, too much into appearances, too hot, out of my league and such. Not just that I didn't think I had a chance, but also, she represented many things that are a turn off for me.

I know the more weight I lose, the more dating opportunities I would have.
Yet I am not judging potential partners based on looks, at all.
They have to pass some pretty strict personality assessments instead, one of which is not judging guys on appearance. I know this sounds self serving.

Now here is the rub.
I get asked out a lot, to go places, to go to dinner at a ladies home. By a lot means more than 7 times a week. I do take up the offers very often, sometimes I defer due to life's commitments.
Some of these ladies would have similar scores to myself on appearance, some maybe a bit lower and some quite a lot higher. All good one would think.
The problem is, these ladies like my mind and personality, they are not drawn to me by my appearance, and accordingly are not physically attracted to me. So the socialising is purely platonic. They are buying what I am advertising.
Sadly they are not buying what I am trying to sell.
I would need to lift my game in appearances to gain their interest in the physical side of things.

We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Not always, but most of the time to get it rolling, it will be that first visual impression that creates interest for me. ☺

I think appearance counts int eh sense of making a good first impression. peopel are drawn to the beautiful, and will notice the good looking people first.

However, good looking people are often narcissistic and/or have a sense of entitlement, acting as if they are superior to others.

I'd rather meet someone who treats others as equals.

Appearance is a definite factor in self-confidence, which is truly what is attractive. To the extent that you think that you look good, your actions are definitely going to be taken with confidence and surety. Now I have known people who look great, but are still not sure that other people think so, and they obsess about it. I recently went through a period where I dropped about 40 pounds, most of it concentrated around the belly. I did see a marked increase in smiles and flirting directed my way, and that alone reinforced my self-confidence (which wasn't much of a problem to begin with, honestly). Anyway, I'd encourage you to do what you think you need to do to feel like you look attractive. When you think you do, you do, remember that. Good luck, bro.

Yea I think physical attraction is important but definitely not the most important thing. Personality, chemistry, good vibes and conversation, and similar values and mindset are what keeps my attention. I do believe in love at first sight because it happened to me recwntly. Now I just have to figure out I'm her future husband and all will be good lol

As I get older I tend to look past the photo and read the story behind the person. I haven't aged as well as I would have liked and I can't expect everyone else to have done much better. A nice smile, the kind that reaches the eyes has always attractive to me. I look for a good heart and similar interests. For me, these are more important than appearance.

I'm not looking for compliments or to have my ego massaged, should somebody feel the need to, but here's what is my experience.

I've always been overweight, sometimes more than others but generally sporting a few pounds more than I should, did I like it? No. Did I dislike it enough to do something about it? No. But girls/dates etc were always at a premium. I wasn't, and am still not, a couch potato, I get out and about, have always been doing stuff etc

A couple of years ago, for some reason, I got my lose weight mojo working and lost 3 stone (42+ pounds) It didn't make a blind bit of difference on the girlfriend/date front.

Conclusions. Whether it looks, or perceived availability, I just don't seem to be fanciable. Don't know why, I don't think I'm ever the best looking guy around but I don't think I like all that ghastly either, just sort of average I guess. I appreciate that some will say I should think more of myself but it's just observation over a number of years. I have friends that are girls/women and I can talk the hind legs off a donkey with women (maybe that's it?) but can never translate friends into more than friends.

So I would have to say looks count for a lot, at least when women look at me, I'm chatty, friendly, funny (so I'm told) good company yadda yadda yadda but if this doesn't work it has to be the superficial, the looks.

Or possibly I do look ok and I'm a bit of wanker and nobody's been honest enough to tell me lol

The fact is..I believe anyway..that most people especially men do judge based on appearance, at least in terms of first impression and being "noticed" in the first place.
It shouldn't be this way..but it is..its Human nature, it's how very many of us are wired.
The really great thing is the other side of the coin is that an attractive personality is what will make you stay with a person.
Many moons ago I would find myself attracted to a particular girl only to end up with one of her less pretty friends based on attraction to their personality...because you can meet someone with great looks..but not necessarily an attractive personality to match or to be worth the trouble. That's just my opinion.

I'm less interested in perfection of features than I am in grooming. If a man has a long, untrimmed beard and he isn't Santa Claus, it's a turn-off for me. If he would rather cram a ball cap on his head than wash, comb and style his hair... or proudly display the lack of it, that's a turn-off, too. What you bother to do tells me so much more than what you were born with does.

Looks have a direct correlation to genetics being either directly physical or related to healthy habits. It is biologically coded into each of us to want to pass on our genes combining them with the strongest possible genetic match. Therefore if my genes suck, biologically I still want to pass them onto the strongest possible match. Looks are not the end-all-be-all of this however, if a person is rich many find that attractive as it also enhances the chances of your genetic code being passed on in our society. In addition the character or intelligence of a person also enhance those chances.

Sentience does allow humans to interfere with this process by not wanting to procreate or choosing unfit partners but for the most part, humans want children at one point or another in their lives regardless of whether it works out or not.

Looks are just the first thing you notice in the selection process.

I voted for Lol. Some people are quite happy with her/himself and are looking for someone else that's happy with her/himself. Others are unhappy about something. If they can change it and want to, then they should try. Others shouldn't change anything about themselves other than temporary location changes. That in and of itself increases one's chances of seeing/meeting new people. Not many people having been lining up outside my garage today, but I'll keep checking.

From another perspective -- Looks are more likely to turn me away but perhaps not in the usual direction. I avoid men who are in extremely good shape or too 'pretty', by which I mean maybe too 'metrosexual'. At this point in my life I prefer some meat on the bones and find bald or balding really sexy -- if it's left natural and not some silly comb-over. Facial hair is really nice, too. Oh, and at my age if there isn't at least some gray in the hair -- forget it. And any indication that anything besides maybe the face is shaved -- I'm out of there!!!

Personally, I think it would be foolish to say that appearance has NO impact, of course it does. And from an evolutionary standpoint, that makes perfect sense.
Having said that, I'm decidedly average in the looks department, but I've always done pretty well when it comes to finding relationships. When I want to that is. I'm not the girl that random men come up to and ask to dance, or ask for my number, not on sight anyway. Those things happen after getting to know me. I'm a confident person, I think that helps, I can also be very outgoing when I care to.
I guess this is a long way of saying that YES, looks do matter, but relationships require something deeper. The man I'm currently seeing is WAY better looking than me. He gets hit on all the time by women when I'm sitting RIGHT THERE, which by the way ... women, don't do that, it's just shitty. He just shrugs. I don't know if he doesn't see himself that way or if he truly doesn't care. I know that he asked me out initially because I was "intelligent, funny and confident". Which is great cause I'm also short, chubby and graying. So I say, work with what you've got. There is someone out there for everyone.

I'm not pretty but I'm tall, solidly muscular,with weatherbeaten mountain man kind of look that a goodly number of women seem to like. Looks do count and guys that are short and have a time putting on muscle face a lot of discrimination. It's not hopeless, but they are starting the race a step behind.

Conversely, if a really hot guy reaches out to me on a dating site, my first thought is that he made a mistake or didn't look at all my pictures. Sadly, each one that has ended up being a scammer, lol. Not sure what that says about my looks.

Keep in mind everyone has different tastes. I gravitate to "dad bods" with grey hair or bald. That being said, I try not to discriminate against slim guys or heavier set guys.

I generally tend to dress nice. And by that I mean if I'm going out I'll wear jeans and a nicer blouse with dress shoes. Perhaps that isn't really dressing up but it is for Minnesota. If I'm going somewhere nicer I'll wear a dress. You'd be surprised how many men and women dress in hoodies and camo when going out on a Friday or Saturday night. For me, if I've been chatting with a guy and we agree to meet and she shows up in a hoodie or a t-shirt then I'm a bit disappointed. Go to flipping Walmart and buy a polo for $5! But again, I'm sure guys look at me and wonder why I'm wearing "fancy" clothes.

I get most of my clothing at discount places and I'm in no way someone who keeps up with trends, etc. But I do try to make a nice appearance.

The first thing that attracts me is the physical, then you fill in the blanks with the rest. So yea, appearance counts for me but not for all. I am physically fit and expect my partner to be the same, therefore, that's what I am attracted to. If you aren't, you're immediately filed into the "friend" category. I care not if it seems shallow. A dude with bouncy breasts is fairly unattractive in my book.

I wish appearance wasn't quite so important, but it is.

I always find "appearance" matters initially. Then is down personality.

A person has to have substance. Ideally substance that is somewhat compatible with my substance. And not be repulsive. Good looks are a bonus, but not what clinches it.