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Could you live with a life partner with a religious belief system?

I know of a couple who have a different belief systems. One is a Buddhist (essentially atheist) and the other is a conservative Christian. I don't know how they do it, but they make it work and they've been married 30 years. Could you have a life partner with a different belief system?

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AwarenessNow 8 May 23
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13 comments

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1

I could not intellectually respect her if she truly believes in a sky daddy. So my vote is no.

I agree it come down to respect. And I wouldn't be able to help but be patronising

I agree it come down to respect. And I wouldn't be able to help but be patronising

1

I've done it before but I'm over it. If I can't freely roll my eyes on my own home, I have no home.

4

I cant. Tried. Couple times. Inevitably the issue comes up causing strife with the partner and their family - gatherings, weddings, prayer at dinners, etc. I'm very anti religious and see all religious people perpetuating what I believe to be a terrible affliction on humanity that requires willful ignorance to maintain.
Difficult to bridge that big a divide.

1

I have had religious partners and the fact that they did not try to convert me or even discuss religion with me made it OK. I would think it would be difficult if you had children together.

@WillP2020 no small kiddies for me either!!

1

I would either convert this partner, or the relationship would sooner or later fail.

Joerg Level 3 May 24, 2018
1

There are different levels of belief and engagement. My ex was raised catholic and church of christ in a step mother situation where step mom resented her dad taking her to one side or the other. My dad remarried into a Baptist family and my ex was happy to identify with them because they were "less judgemental" than what she was used to. I encouraged her to tithe and go to church, just asked she not request it of me. (Even went to hear her sing once and that was nice, but the amatuer hour let me tell you why gawd is reaalll was hard for me to take as a guest). Why did she not bother going? Either she was not into it, felt embarassed because I did not go, or it was too much effort and she did not really care.

Wonder how many working relationships are in the same category?

2

My husband is a believer and was a devout catholic for many years(one of our first dates was to a chuch...I didnt realize that was where he was taking me at the time).Though after he took a world religion class in college he changed his views on most of it. He said it was hard at first to learn what he believed his whole life was a lie but then he felt liberated, and didn't carry the guilt he was taught to feel for being human. He is now anti religious, but still he believes in god even if I don't. Whenever his family criticizes us for not going to church he just tells them "I am in church right now...the world is my church". For us it helps in parenting because we teach our kids people can believe different things and that it is okay. As long as you respect where the other person is coming from even if you don't agree and make an effort not to judge or force your beliefs on them, it can work. If you love someone, truly love them ,you will let them be as they are and they will let you be as you are. We are opposites in almost everyway but it creates balance. He's the faithful optimist and I am the questioning cynic. With that said what works for us may not work for others. And it wasn't easy for us to get were we are at now. It took us 10 years to be were we are. There was one memorable arguement after we first moved in together when tossed out a book I had on the history of tarot cards telling me how it would attract demons, and in turn I chugged an entire half a gallon of holy water he had spent $5 on. Hilarity ensued after as I said something like "you spent $5 on half a gallon of water that tasted like pool water they bathed a pack of dogs in!? You can fill a five gallon jug for $1.25 at the gas station and that was purified by reverse osmosis! Not words said by a sexually repressed possible deviant" . I also made a quip about "I better be able to part the sea after this, cause that tasted terrible! Jesus should of just drank that to atone for the sins of mankind, he got off easy!". He went on about how it was meant to bless the home and how we would get evil spirits. I said some thing about "good! When the spirits come I'll have them pay half our rent cause I won't have any freeloading ghosts just haunting here". A month later we found out I was pregnant and we both laughed about how it must have been the water and made some second coming jokes. Then again I did worry about what was in the water and had reason to then. We still laugh about it to this day, and haven't had an argument over religion since. I still make the occasional religous joke and he can pray his heart out. I don't mind...just as long as he doesn't waste money on nasty pool flavored water, were good.

Why won't this app reconize my indentation or let me post in paragraphs when typing out on my phone? Sorry all...I know it makes everything so hard on the eyes. Totally makes it seem like I forgot everything I was taught not to do in English and typography!

@Terrbeargraphix I have the same problem but mostly with private messages. And on my private messaging the auto correct is also missing. Ugh!!

1

A religious person obeys priests, preachers and the like. For me that is a sign of stupidity. I could not accept to live with a believer in any religion!

0

It's a case by case basis. This only one possible part of a compatibility quotient.

0

Ha, like they wouldn’t proselytize

2

I have two ex-wives. First one it was not a problem. She and I really didn't discuss it. It wasn't an issue between the two of us in our 16 year marriage. 18 years after divorce, we are really good friends.
Ex-wife number two, also a 16 year relationship, is a different story. She is a member of a 12 Step Program that is based on theism. I belong to a different one that is more open to atheism. It was a big issue for her, because my disbelief was a threat to her beliefs. Or that was my impression.
I guess it doesn't help that I always tell the truth. The truth is that I don't respect theists beliefs at all. But, I do respect their right to have their childish, ridiculous beliefs.

0

I haven't lived with someone who shared my faith, so it would be new to me, but I would like to try it.

0

No, because there would be a huge part of both our lives that we couldn't share.

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