Dealbreakers: Republican, Libertarian, Nascar freak, anyone disliking animals, shirtless profile pics, bullies, hillbillies, white nationalists, poor grammar, no sense of humor.

Ax murderers. Can't stand them, messy. Women that wear hats in warm weather, I don't know, seems to be a correlation with aberrant behavior. Women that don't like dogs, not that they are bad people but I will always have a dog. Bad house keepers, not that they have to keep my house, I can do it, just don't make it worse. Trump supporters, can't trust them for any moral or ethical behavior or decisions.

It's good to be selective. But remember, when you rule everyone out, you end up with nothing.

Your 30 minute guideline seems about right. You're right, it is very easy to develop reasons to rule people out online. My deal breakers would be any kind of irrational intolerance, extreme neediness, any kind of control freak behavior, rudeness, habitual lateness, slovenly personal space, and of course slavish devotion to any kind of religion at all. I shy away from people more than 3 or 4 miles from me who don't write anything in their profile. If you got nothing to say, take your picture down, FFS.

Cigarette smoking is a dealbreaker for me.

What if you aren't really looking, or don't expect to find someone, so you just interact as a friend, then it becomes much more intense, serious?
You find someone who is honest, even when it's difficult, tactful and kind spirited, tho contradicting you?
This person not only accepts your flaws, but likes some of them, and helps with others?
You reciprocate because you have a basic similarity, affection.
There are obstacles, yes, distance is one -
the main one?
Wouldn't you at least try to meet?

Distance is important, but an hour is doable. Substance abuse is a dealbreaker. Infidelity is a dealbreaker. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker.

Personally, I'm not looking outside 50 to 100 miles, but I remain open to someone from anywhere. I have friends very happily married whose relationships started online across the country. As for what I want and don't out of life ─ kids, travel, smoking, drinking ─ those are major matters of lifestyle and quick deal makers or breakers for me. I don't waste my time. (For example, I'm a 38-year recovering alcoholic, but can be around people who drink responsibly. If a woman tells me she has an occasional drink, fine. If she drinks daily, it won't work.)

Having a (couple of) bike(s), road trips tend to be a thing of enjoyment, so i'd say maybe a couple of hours distance would be my initial limit, more if there is anything there to make the trip worthwhile (no, not sex specifically), but what would NOT make it worthwhile: arrogance, ingratitude, religiousness, an overbearing attitude, racist talk/actions, nationalism, right wing politics (sadly, i include libertarians in this, though i was one in my earlier days), illiteracy, incuriosity. i guess, if you are not mentally and politically engaged, bye!

Traffic is so bad where I live that it can sometimes take 30 minutes to drive 3 miles. So I would probably accept anything from 1 - 1 1/2 hr drive. The things that I dislike, such as drinking to excess, smoking, rudeness and bad personal hygiene are deal breakers for me but sadly these would not be apparent in an online bio. However, the incidental info (to me) but important stuff too, like travel, food, family preferences etc can set a basis for further exploration or not.

I would drive an hour at most, but prefer someone closer, of course. Compatibility is important, so if her lifestyle habits and goals are not similar to mine then I feel it's a waste of time to talk with/date her. No one should go into a relationship hoping they will change the other person to be compatible to their wants and needs.

Scanning thru, I saw a comment which made me think of something someone very dear told me...
Close to his words... "One shouldn't harshly judge someone who mispronounces a word. If that happens, and they seem smart enough otherwise, then it's likely they are self taught and learned the mispronounced words through reading them!."
Ty B,
Bev

vanity

I think it's feasible if it's around the places I usually travel frequently. For instance omaha is 8 hour drive but I go there once a month so it wouldn't be unreasonable to meet someone there. I also go to the northern edge of Oklahoma and southern Missouri near Arkansas frequently.

I'm not okay with too much drinking. Smoking too much weed.

I find I'd not be opposed to being friends, but definately let them know they're not a romantic candidate.

My second wife lived 13 hours away! But now, having dabbled in online dating for years (mostly unsuccessfully), I think an hour is enough. Closer is always better but there are also advantages to living further away as it really tests your resilience and helps weed out people who really aren't that engaged. Where I live is predominantly married families. So anyone is a minimum 30 minutes away - on average. That's a very generalist sort of statement, but that's just the way it is here in suburbia where homes average $400,000 or more. There's isn't a lot of single women nearby.

Friends first, then worry about the rest if there is mutual interest. You can never have too many friends!

At this point , I have no expectations . I sincerely feel that , as you said , it's easy to everyone out . I like my life and who I am . The chances that I'll meet anyone who'll actually make life better are much , much smaller than the chance of becoming involved with someone who'll make it a whole lot worse . The last several men who have shown any interest , wanted me to , "loan," them ,which I had no expectation of ever seeing returned , wanted to move in , so they could live like a king at my expense , had habits , I have no desire to deal with (smoking , alcoholism , drugs , financial problems , dominance issues ) , and had no skills or interest in anything beneficial to me . These days , since I can no longer do as much as I used to do , when I was younger , if I can't manage something on my own , I hire someone . I am very glad , I prepared well for my own future .

I agree with the 30 minutes too. One of my dealbreakers is you need to be an adult that drives yourself places. One very nice person who I'm friends but will not date proposed a first date of me coming to get him, cuddle and Netflix on my couch, then I get to drive him home. He doesn't drive "because it makes him nervous". I was married for 11 years to a man who didn't drive - I've done my time in that particular hell, thanks. Bring something to the table besides helpless need, its such a turnoff!

Extreme conservatives, forget it--and that's and excellent point that we tend to get more information to go on from on-line contacts.

Depends on how horny you are ?

You know, I just about agree with you.

One of my touchstones is don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs or the blues. If they don't like either...!!!!! Its worked so far.