After thinking it over, the list is to long to get into, and reminded me that l must not be very bright.

I shot myself right above my upper lip with an arrow. How does one do that???

Cutting onions. Onions are little bastards!

Captain Morgan pushed me down some stairs, sprained my wrist.

Fell out of the back of a station wagon during my senior year in high school and broke my tail bone. Yes, alcohol was involved.

We had a several ton steel beam to hold up the basement of a house. I tried to lift it and set it on the beam pocket from above. It tried to pull me into the basement with it when it fell. I hooked my leg on the foundation instinctively and caught a steel anchor bolt with my calf. It kept me from falling by ripping an inch wide gap through my flesh, 5" long. The pain was exquisite for days.

OK, here's another one, and don't tell anybody! I was in third grade and it was winter. I took my bath and went into the living room where the wall furnace was to finish drying off. Remember, this was winter in a drafty old farm house. The cat was laying in front of the furnace and I kinda barged in and kitty didn't think alot of it so she started swatting and biting my feet. I backed up. Right into that furnace with a wet backside. Think of bacon sizzling!! I got 3rd degree burns all over my tushy. Talk about embarassing. I wonder if my classmates ever knew? I was mortified

While building a deck on a steep slope in my back yard. I was tired. That's my excuse.
I was putting the deck boards down over about a 6 foot drop to the ground. I fastened a board to the frame, then cut the extended section off even with the edge of the deck. Unfortunately, I was standing on the extended side of the wood. I suppose it looked very much like a Wiley Coyote moment. Sprained an ankle upon landing.

Hopped off the back of a pickup. That was 31 days in the hospital, a bankruptcy, and a lifetime of pain.

Burned my nose on a hot iron...
No, wait, peed on an electric fence !

Fell out the back of a swing when I was a kid and gave myself a concussion.

Another time, a kid kicked a ball at recess once and accidentally smacked my head into a wall, giving me a concussion.

One of my main hobbies involves gaming miniatures, which I have to trim and clean with an X-acto knife. I end up absent-mindedly stabbing myself in the finger just about every time.

A few years back I did something to really mess up my neck - wrenched the hell out of it. One day, while nursing it, I got out of bed too quickly and ended up wrenching it even harder. I had a flash of intense pain and blacked out. When I woke up, I found that I'd fallen against the wall and destroyed the cord for a power strip plugged in there. The rest of the cord was unplugged in the process but the "ground" plug was broken off in the wall socket and had given me a four-inch gash across my back

Walking in the house barefoot

My boyfriend pissed me off and I kicked a vacuum out of my way.
It was a rainbow which has a tank of water.
It moved slightly, my toe went sideways.

When I was young, the first time I rode a 4 wheeler, I had to hit 4th and a patch of sugar sand. Broke my wrist that day.

My other injuries were not stupidity on my part. LOL

When I was about 8 or so, I decided to show my friends in their basement that I knew fake karate. I extended my leg backwards as to kick someone behind me and my natural weight and recoiled force brought my leg forward and my knee went right into the ground like I meant to knee it.

Nothing more than a bad bruise and bad feeling for a little while, but the embarrassment lasted longer lol

Dislocated a finger joint trying to remove really tight stockings.

I cracked my tailbone playing Frisbee golf when I was in college.

Hmmm, which would choose?

1. backing into a potato chip packing machine & getting a gash bruise on your ass? and having to have a supervisor fill out the injury form on that?
2. Tripping on acid in a bra & panties in slick new boots, doing a kick boxing move thus going airborne & breaking your wrist with your hip upon landing?

Doing a front handspring on a roller skating rink with my roller skates on....body went forward, feet/skates stayed back, and broke all 5 toes at the same time. Had to be cut out of my skate because I skated for another 2 hours before noticing it hurt like hell and by the time I noticed, my foot/lower leg was swollen to the point that it couldn't be taken off.

See my name here, there's too many for a full review but last year I fell down ONE step and fractured my shoulder blade. The ER doc almost called me a liar but still have me a monster oxy script.

Side note, oxy can be a truth serum, DO NOT call an ex for help if stoned

Being circumsised when I was born ?

12 years old, riding my too small bicycle down a steep hill, and got my foot stuck in the front spokes! That is the day that I learned how bad a cracked knee cap hurts!!

I got into an argument with one of my best friends about 20 years ago, we came close to throwing fist, we both turned and walked away, I was so pissed off that I kicked my car door and broke three toes...LOL

Two come to mind

1. When I was an adolescent I found a straight razor in my grandmother's house. I wanted to see if it was sharp so I dragged in along my finger. It didn't cut so I did it again. Luckily I didn't cut myself that bad.

2. Getting into bed and didn't gage the distance from the bed and the headboard. Gave me quite a bruise.

My sister and I were playing volleyball in the rain with her friends, and I slipped and broke my leg.

It's a tie between almost being sterilized while on a date going horseback riding in high school (the horse decided to go to a trot and I didn't pinch my knees together) and being 8 years old watching Pac man cartoons in my Pac man PJs that were on backwards and rocking back on a wasp and getting stung (Forrest Gump voice) directly in the buttocks. Ain't life grand?