Driving drunk but debunked the hollywood theory that a gas tanker full of fuel will esplode at impact with another vehicle. The scar along my left arm is "exhibit A" of German Ingeniuty. But it was not a "dumbest way" because I remember saying in the club, "let me get out of here before I am drunk".

It’s a tie between two instances. A few weeks ago I gave myself a black eye practicing tornado spins with nunchucks when I heard a loud rustle of leaves, turned my head and smacked myself right across the ocular cavity. It was a squirrel.

Maybe 7 or 8 years ago when I was drinking too much a friend and I got in an argument over which drug inhibits fear more: alcohol or molly? He argued Molly and I argued alcohol. This evolved into a bet over which of us had the balls to jump in the river down at a local park in the middle of the night. Neither of us were on molly, both of us were drunk so I’m not sure what this was supposed to prove. I “won” because the path down to the river was covered in sharp rocks and he couldn’t make it down them barefoot while I shimmied down with no problem. On my way back up though my toes slipped under my feet and when I got back home and took my wet sock off I realized I had donated my pinky toenail to the river. It was completely torn off n I didn’t even notice lol.

Walking. Getting in a truck. I once split my abdominal muscles open and needed surgery because I laid with my head off the bed and got stuck

Making my bed and the fitted sheet caught my finger and popped the tendon in my first knuckle didnt really hurt and can't be fixed really kind of a waste of time but it is not straight end bends also when i was a kid used a pencil to open a box missed the tape rammed it in my wrist i can still see the lead mark

I slipped on some water, causing me to dislocate a kneecap twelve years ago.

Swimming in a pool doing the backstroke and twanged my head against the side of the pool, 4 stitches and humongous headache all day. I was 14 yrs.old

Reached for a glass door.
Put my hand through it.
Glass sliced my left inner wrist.
Lost a lot of blood but lived to laugh about it.
Makes interesting conversation too...'so...how'd you get that scar across your wrist ?' they hesitantly ask.

I was riding my off road motorcycle on a trail that crossed a farmer's field. I was 16 yrs old and had my girlfriend sitting behind me. We were only going about 25 MPH. There was a cow steadily crossing the trail in front of me. I thought I would give my girlfriend a thrill so i sped up a little and aimed at the cow for a second then i swerved away from the cow back onto the trail. Unfortunately this maneuver confused the cow and the damned animal backed up straight into our path. I ended up hitting the cow broadside. The weight of my girlfriend's body caused me to do a face plant on the motorcycle's gas tank. My girlfriend went airborne as she deflected off of my body. She flew over the cow and did a stunt roll as she landed in the field. I guess all of her cheerleader training paid off at that moment. The cow bolted away and left me there with a bloody nose in a confused state of embarrassment and hilarity. My girlfriend was thankfully unhurt. She walked back to me and the dirt bike with some snide remark as i wiped up my bloody nose. I restarted the bike and we made it home with no other incidents of stupidity on my part.

A number of years ago I had accumulated quite a bit of yard debris, so I loaded it up in the back of my pickup and took it to a spot a farmer friend of mine had said I could get rid of it.
I had gloves on, and a long sleeve shirt so there was maybe 2 inches of skin exposed between the gloves and shirt, I was in the back of the truck shoveling the leaves and such out, when it looked to me like a huge worm was poised on the shovel , when it ( FYI, I’m terrified of worms ) lunged forward going directly toward my exposed wrist, so I freaked out and backed up and fell out of the truck, there was a tree stump that I hard parked next to, so I landed on it, breaking 4 ribs, there also was a big rock next to the stump, I hit that as well, but with the back of my head, knocked me out cold, and I had to have 36 stitches in the back of my head.
But.. at least that F*#king worm didn’t get me!

I was pissed off and stomping into the house. My right arm swung forwards and I cracked a bone in my wrist on the door knob.

No alcohol involved, I was in 3rd grade, riding my brother's bike which was too big for me. A neighbor boy on a bike hit my rear tire on the L side and pushed me and the bike over. I ended up with chipped bone in my foot. BUT, it took me out of school. 1967 was Nebraska's centennial, we were having special activities at school, mom had made a pioneer skirt for me, it was fabulous. I never got to wear it

I stepped on my hand while wearing 1" long spikes on my shoes about 40 years ago. I lost about a 1 CC chunk of my finger on the fingerprint side of the middle of middle finger and had to hold my hand above my head for six weeks (no pain killers and it throbbed when I put my hand down). I wash in multiple events in track and did not change shoes between events. Stepped on hand while getting untangled from landing foam. One coach got faint and the other barfed when they saw it. We did not have cell phones back then and team manager bandaged me up for a four mile walk to the emergency room. My grandfather was so upset that they did not call me an ambulance that he sat in the stadium for my entire first practice back. I had to do push ups one handed for rest of year and my right side is still significantly stronger. Also, most of my fingerprint grew back and I thought that was strange.

Another : was given a nice antique stiletto. Thought I'd see how well it worked so I roll a newspaper and held it in my hand. You guessed it - stab, stab, stab right through the paper and into my hand.
Worse, I had a show to play that night and had to suffer through it.

Had to use the restroom badly so I ran from the parking lot and decided to take a shortcut by jumping over some bushes. Forgot the floor was much lower on the other side... sprained my ankle. Had to hop around the next day with my ankle was bandaged. I had a music final that day too, not my best performance, found out pain killers made me drowsy which affected my performance.

We could be rich if all this was on youtube!

I got run over by an ice skate blade when I was 12. I was going around on the rink, I fell down, and a girl behind me accidentally skated over my fingers. Blood all over the ice. I had to get a couple of stitches and still have the scars. From then on, I wore thick gloves.