I would probably have titled your post differently and said "What's The Thing You Hate Most About Online Dating?"

Seems your real issue is with the relative anonymity and ease with which someone can lie via the Internet. Your actual questions and your poll are more about whether it's better or "more kind" to lie in order to spare someone's feelings than to be straight with them. In world of dating, where you're (if you'll pardon the expression) "feeling each other out" and trying to forge a connection, find chemistry with each other, get to know one another, I think honesty is the best policy. It always is, really. So no, it's not "kinder" to lie to someone on a dating platform to spare their feelings. As you said, if it ain't workin' it ain't workin, and everyone should cut their losses and move on before someone gets in too deep and it's that much more painful. =]

What I hate most about dating sites is that you don't know what you're getting. Many people do not know themselves or what they want. So if they don't know, how do I know what the hell they want? I am so concerned that I represent myself honestly on a dating website. I know exactly what I want and I put that on there, scars and all. And then I meet with someone who is supposed to be compatible and they aren't compatible even a little bit. I don't think they are lying, I think they really do not know who they are.

Honesty. Fuck everything else.

I've been giving POF and Tinder a try the last two weeks. From the people I've talked to, men and women have vastly different experiences. For my age group at least, the women I've talked to say they have constant messeges asking for sex or friends with benefits or d*ck pics, etc. I've had a pleasant experience so far. Women are more civil, but i can tell from conversations extremely cautious as well, which is understandable and smart. The biggest problem i think is how online dating has made dating just a bit too CASUAL. When i have to tell you what my name is or what i do for a living after you've asked me 3 times because you confuse me with 10 other guys you're talking to then you've lost my interest.

Here's another one - if the first line on my profile is "I'm here to date locals", please don't contact me when you live 500 miles away. And don't say "distance isn't a problem for me" - honey, IDGAF, it IS a problem for me, which I clearly stated on my profile. I assume most guys deliberately seeking a long distance relationship are looking to cheat on whoever they live with, and I don't want to play that.

Wow. Reading all of your comments just confirms why I have never been on any of the sites except this one, for all of the reasons described. It is so challenging to wade thru all of the.......stuff..... that lends itself to extreme vetting & all of the....stuff....one has to endure in that process. Whew!

That few women contact me, and I'm not exactly chopped liver!!!

I hate the games - they message you, you reply, they answer you 3 days later as if there was no time lapse. They immediately want sex and can't understand why you don't. They immediately want you to call them so they can text you 24/7 for the rest of your life. They agree to meet you for coffee, get cold feet and come up with convoluted tales about how their cousin's mother's hamster is sick and they have to go comfort their family.

And the blank profiles. "If you want to know something, just ask". Ok, why would anybody be interested in dating someone so lazy and boring? No effort, no interest!

People don't lie because they're trying to be kind, they lie because they're chicken shits.

Life’s too short to waste time lying to someone. Worse if you’re lying to yourself.

I always tried to tell the truth, and would personally rather hear the truth

Rudeness is a big issue for me on dating sites. I've had more than one guy tell me I was ugly, even when I was thin, and I even had one guy stand me up and when I asked for an explanation he said he showed up but he hadn't realized that I was "really ugly". I was still quite thin back then and looked exactly like my pix on the site. And then there are those who get mad and say shit because I make it clear that I do not believe in god and I will not date anyone who does.

Dating hasn't changed. It is and always has been awkward, difficult, and confusing, and those are the easy parts! ☺

Words are not enough to develop trust with someone new on-line. I know who I am and understand that it is hard for people to creating a trusting relationship with all of the Fakes out there. I can say how honest and sincere I am and it still will not be enough for many people. I just hope that someone will give me enough time to find out more about me and allow me to learn about them as well.

I don't know, have never dated a website.

Had a woman post pictures from 20 years and 30 pounds ago. I waited patiently for the date to be over. The next day she calls to ask if we're going out again. I told her no, I just wasnt feeling it. I should have told her she posted bogus pictures but I didn't want to be mean. There's more to the story but she called me back 3 hours later and asked if there was another factor, and again I should have told her about the pictures but i didnt want to hurt her feelings. If I'm not interested and they ask I may tell them I've met someone else and have to see where it goes. I just try not to be mean. So it depends. If they break Rule #1 and ask during the first date if we're going out again, I told one the truth and then she gave me 5 reasons why she was the best woman in the world. I told her it's not something you can talk someone into and she said I was an asshole and stormed out. So you can see why the truth hurts some people, that's why it depends.

Two things: One, I rarely find anyone within a 100 miles of me that I share interest with. Two, most 'dating sites' are full of fake profiles, or people trying to scam you. It's happened to me so much that when I do get to talk to someone new online, my first response is to wonder if they are a real person.

The “other” that I’m referring to through my experiences is that too many are “fake” profiles. They are just trying to separate you form your money. The “other” I hate is “ghosting”, where you start chatting with someone and then they are just gone. Similar to your issue in the post

Its the scatter-gun approach you have to do just to get a response. Let alone a date. Most dating sites don't have an open forum like this. So its a question of pics, a minimal profile and endless msgs with the same returns as a mail shot. This would be a great site if it had more UK women on it.

I have never dated a website. (snark)

What do I hate about dating websites?...

MISOGYNY... Every now and then a profile would pop up on sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid complete with photos of women bound, gagged and dehumanised. I could feel the hate. I reported the profiles but they kept reappearing. The last straw on POF was the profile of a young professional man who had photos of women tied to chairs, their hair being pulled or with gags in their mouth. There were also images of 'score cards' used for rating women's sexual performance. I deleted my POF account.

On OKCupid the last straw was a man's profile whose photos included images of real women who had been murdered. I flagged the profile and shut my account down there and then. I realise some men hate women, but I didn't need to see it. Those encounters pushed me into a depression which lasted months.

SCAMMERS... Tiresome and becoming increasingly sophisticated.

VISA HUNTERS... Like scammers, but I feel sorry for them. They're trying to escape poverty for a better life. But they're not interested in me.

FAKE PROFILES... Another waste of time.

MARRIED OR ATTACHED MEN... Demoralising. Some people have no conscience about lying. This made me feel jaded about the whole human race.

CRAPPY ALGORITHMS... Sites that don't match by your preferred age range and interests/hobbies etc.

MONEY... Sites that say they're free - but they're not.

DISTANCE... The problem of distance when people live too far away.

ABUSIVE MEN... I quickly realised to turn a man down, even in the most polite way possible was to invite vicious verbal abuse. I developed strategies for turning men down in such a way as to not invoke their wrath. The dating game felt like walking on egg shells.

DEHUMANISATION... I've received introductory messages varying from: "will you piss in your knickers for me, for cash?" to "can you sit on my face?" to "how much do you charge for an hour of unprotected sex?".

Things have gotten worse over the last ten years. How the future will pan out, I don't know.

On those occasions when I've used a dating site it has to be the blow offs. I read the profile, get some idea who this woman is, craft a personalized message that opens up a conversation, put forth a actual effort then...nothing.

Makes me want to send a "fuck you" follow-up.

But I don't. I'm not an asshole.

But I want to.

About a year after my late husband died I did the one month free deal at eharmony and match.com. Within hours I was swamped with messages from scammers. Something about "older widowed female" equates to 'money to be stolen'. Unfortunately for the scammers, I am not that stupid, naive or lonely. What I am is a bit of a cynic with a twisted sense of humor. So, when someone using a fake picture, proclaims that god has sent them to me.. it sends me into fits of laughter. As a result, I quickly dropped out of the online dating pool. But, I did join a FB anti-scammer group. I was surprised to find that when sweet talk didn't work, some scammers were threatening older women to get money from them. Eventually, after seeing how many folks over 50 were falling for fakes, I ended up moderating, and being an admin, on two 50 plus dating groups; my main job is spotting and deleting scammers. And yes I have been threatened, but I don't threaten easily. Sadly, I have found that I have little in common with most of the members (not religious and not right wing) of the two groups. My late husband used to joke that if we hadn't found each other we would both have ended up as hermits living in a cave somewhere. The older I get the more I think he may have been right.

I've never had many problems with people lying on dating sites. People would have to talk to me before they could lie!

I've used sites and had little problem. I think it's because sites like Match.com offer a number of options for input including the main narrative. This input is much like a resume, and by profession I've been an executive and both looked for jobs and hired people so. So I know how to read a resume. I specifically look for a high level of intellect, and this is easy to discern. So well-written, at a high level, rarely if ever will there be a problem. This is why sites like Tinder, other than if you are looking for a quick hook up, are of little use.